Community Chat

[KingstonsMom]

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@Lali1 wrote:

I was having trouble sleeping last night and got to thinking. My mom from the time she had kids until she died was always trying to diet and hated her body. I also know someone who died when she went in to have one stomach stapling removed to have another such surgery. My mil on and on I can think of women who spent much of their lives hating the body they were in and being miserable about it. 

i like to walk and do some exercise but for the last year and a half after an injury I have become lazy. I decided I'm going to do my best in the mindset I'm in and try my very best to stop hating myself for how I look. I'm going to focus on healthfulness and not how I look in the mirror. 

Anyone else feeling the same? 

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@Lali1 

To add my perspective on the opposite end of the spectrum in your post.

I have always been extremely skinny and back in the day, I was prescribed prednisone to try to gain weight (before they knew how bad steroids are for the body, long term).

I always hated my stick thin body, with no shape, being called 'skinny minnie'.

I may not have curves, but I'm healthy......but I can't 'twerk'....there's nothing there to 'twerk', LOL!

[vermint]

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@KKJ wrote:

Not criticizing your post vermint, just wanted to say that I don't consider high blood pressure necessarily an "obesity-related" illness as I have family members who are thin as a rail who suffer life-long high BP and conversely my grandma (who lived to 100) was quite overweight most of her life but had a normal BP and a cholesterol level of 140. Like I said, am not saying this to be critical of ypur post, I just get tired of people & the news saying if you're overweight it means you're doomed to a life of health problems.

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@KKJ  No, I understand...high blood pressure runs even among the thinner members of my family. And shoot, I forgot, I do have high cholesterol (though not too terribly high, controlled with an every-other-day med). My youngest brother is very overweight and has neither of those problems! My doctor told me that while, yes, I do need to lose weight, high BP and cholesterol can be hereditary.

[KingstonsMom]

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

@Lali1   wish I could.. but I too dislike my figure faults and think about them all the time.... never look at my body in the mirror from the neck down.  I have done it all my life.  Not something you can just shut off.

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@SeaMaiden 

I know how hard it may be, but you have to realize that the 'figure faults' that bother you so much don't define you.

Your kindness and character do....

[Lali1]

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

@Lali1   wish I could.. but I too dislike my figure faults and think about them all the time.... never look at my body in the mirror from the neck down.  I have done it all my life.  Not something you can just shut off.

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I get it. I have a friend who worries herself sick a lot. They had some bad news and her husband is traveling. He told her not worry. I thought yeh right like it's that easy. Of course it's not possible to change your thinking at the drop of the hat. But I do believe we have control over our thinking, I have to learn how to not be hard on myself and choose another mindset.
I've learned a lot from my dog who when he gets stressed nurses on a stuffed bear. If my dog can understand how to calm himself and change his mindset certainly I can. 

[QVCkitty1]

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

@Lali1   wish I could.. but I too dislike my figure faults and think about them all the time.... never look at my body in the mirror from the neck down.  I have done it all my life.  Not something you can just shut off.

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I will never " love " my body.  It gets me where I need to go, and I've made peace with the fact that no matter how much weight I lose,  l'm not happy with my body.  However, it doesn't keep me up at night. It is what it is.

[Trinity11]

I think a lot of how we feel starts in childhood. My mom used to point to me the "Chubby" dept and told me that was where we would need to shop unless I ate less. She put me in twirling, dance classes 3 times a week because she said I tended towards weight gain. In dance class I asked to buy a blouse to cover me up because of the revealing leotards. I was 10. 

When I hit 12, I dieted strenuously to be 115 at 5'8. To this day I feel overweight unless I am 120 pounds. When I gained weight from 4 years ago having a heart attack and a slew of prescribed drugs adding lots of pounds, I think the weight bothered me more than the heart attack. 

I tried to bring my daughter up differently but she thankfully inherited her dad's tendency to always be thin naturally. It was never an issue.

I commend you @Lali1 for accepting yourself as you are. I have spent my lifetime being obsessed about weight and I doubt it will ever change.

[Lali1]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

I think a lot of how we feel starts in childhood. My mom used to point to me the "Chubby" dept and told me that was where we would need to shop unless I ate less. She put me in twirling, dance classes 3 times a week because she said I tended towards weight gain. In dance class I asked to buy a blouse to cover me up because of the revealing leotards. I was 10. 

When I hit 12, I dieted strenuously to be 115 at 5'8. To this day I feel overweight unless I am 120 pounds. When I gained weight from 4 years ago having a heart attack and a slew of prescribed drugs adding lots of pounds, I think the weight bothered me more than the heart attack. 

I tried to bring my daughter up differently but she thankfully inherited her dad's tendency to always be thin naturally. It was never an issue.

I commend you @Lali1 for accepting yourself as you are. I have spent my lifetime being obsessed about weight and I doubt it will ever change.

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Oh I'm not there yet. Just thinking about those women in my life who were miserable about it for so long changed how I want to be from here on. No one who matters will say about you at the end of your life wow she sure was fat. 

[Elri I]

@Lali1 

I think you have achieved a state of consciousness that many women, including me, cannot attain.   When I look at the waist sizes of actresses from the 40s and before,  I am in a state of wonder.

It's been a fight all the way. I like apples, but struggle constantly not to resemble one.

Also, I remember when ketosis was a bad thing!

[Glittergal]

Thank you for sharing this!  I just spent an hour on that site and it truly has changed my thinking and awareness in a meaningful way.  My life just changed for the better.

[Lali1]

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

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@Lali1 wrote:

I was having trouble sleeping last night and got to thinking. My mom from the time she had kids until she died was always trying to diet and hated her body. I also know someone who died when she went in to have one stomach stapling removed to have another such surgery. My mil on and on I can think of women who spent much of their lives hating the body they were in and being miserable about it. 

i like to walk and do some exercise but for the last year and a half after an injury I have become lazy. I decided I'm going to do my best in the mindset I'm in and try my very best to stop hating myself for how I look. I'm going to focus on healthfulness and not how I look in the mirror. 

Anyone else feeling the same? 

---

@Lali1 

To add my perspective on the opposite end of the spectrum in your post.

I have always been extremely skinny and back in the day, I was prescribed prednisone to try to gain weight (before they knew how bad steroids are for the body, long term).

I always hated my stick thin body, with no shape, being called 'skinny minnie'.

I may not have curves, but I'm healthy......but I can't 'twerk'....there's nothing there to 'twerk', LOL!

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I understand. We all have our own issues with expectations and comments from people that stick with us forever. How we feel about ourselves it what's important.