Community Chat

[terrier3]

On 9/19/2014 Opurrra said:

On 9/19/2014 twopeas said:

I probably have a very different view on leaving life insurance to kids, but here goes. I have three children that are grown and I have been very generous to them over the years. They are the beneficiaries in our wills. That being said, I see no reason to pay hard earned money for life insurance policy premiums in order to leave my kids a chunk of change. I received zero from my parents and have done fine. My kids are perfectly capable of making their own way. If one has the means, fine, but if it is a hardship, I don't think it's the best option.

ITA, I would never want my elderly mother fretting, worrying, tapping into money to pay for an insurance policy so that I can have a few bucks when she passes. Seems the OP is guilt ridden about something and wants to make up for it by leaving her daughters' money. Sad

The OP invested $40,000 in this policy over the years, thinking it would pay off for her children.

Walking away from that kind of money - and leaving NO death benefit - would be horrible. That's $40,000 of scrimping & saving...thinking she had a policy whose premiums could never go up.

I don't think guilt has anything to do with it!!!!!!

Who wants to be ripped off????

[CouponQueen]

I think Terrier gave excellent advice..

Everybody who works and raises a family these days work hard. Many woman ended up single mothers raising their kids etc.

As for your kids getting a break since they lost their inheritance from their dad, it is what it is...it isn't the nicest thing to happen but from what you have wrote their father wasn't interested in or a part of their lives really anyway

How much money are we talking here? Once you buy a house..you have mortgages, insurance, upkeep etc..are they going to be able to maintain it? I am sure their children are going to be almost grown and I agree with the posterst that said we all made it on our own without a 'boost' so to speak..

They are getting paid to help care for you and that in itself is something..most children assist their parents without any payment, nor would they take it expect it etc..so that there is a nice additional sum that they would not of had otherwise..not many policies would pay family to do care..and not certified care giveers. So that is something positive for them that you are doing.

We all want to help our kids and make things easier for them etc..but we need to draw the line when it is not cost effective in the long run.

[LilacTree]

On 9/19/2014 terrier3 said:

On 9/19/2014 Ford1224 said:

On 9/19/2014 bluegrassbaby said:

I think you already know the answer to this dilemma, Ford...do what your heart tells you to do.

To tell you the truth, bluegrassbaby, my heart is too broken to know what to do. I'm hoping the State will have an answer for me. There's more to this than I can post, much more than just the money, that's all I can say.

Ford - I think I also posted about the class action suits that were litigated against these kind of policies...I did get some money back - but that was 25 years ago and it took many years before they settled.

Hopefully the state board that oversees financial products can help you. I'm sure there have been more lawsuits over the years as people experienced the problems you are facing.

I'm trying to get into a class action suit, and I spoke to the State rep about that. I remember you writing about it.

As for the "many years," perhaps my kids could be part of it when I'm not here. I am anxious to find out what my options are.

[cater]

Ford you are not alone in a mess like this I am in the same boat you are floating around in. My monthly payments have gone up triple what I was paying a month and to cash it in right now I might get $13. All this money I have paid all these years and the policy is actually worthless famous big company to boot.

[SurvivedOne]

It would be a cold day in h*ll before I would allow my mother to worry, stress over anything to do with an insurance policy and/or leaving money to me. I am a grown woman and as such am fully capable of taking care of myself. My mother did her job...raising me to be the human being I am today. My job now is looking after her well-being, making sure she does right by herself. Doing the best you can is the best anyone can ever do. Unless you are someone that has lots of accessible cash, it is not selfish...in fact it is imperative for well-being, your health to ensure you have everything you need in life. You did your job and aren't aiding in your own health by engaging in drama that is totally unnecessary and causes issues with your own health.

[LilacTree]

On 9/19/2014 CouponQueen said:

I think Terrier gave excellent advice..

Everybody who works and raises a family these days work hard. Many woman ended up single mothers raising their kids etc.

As for your kids getting a break since they lost their inheritance from their dad, it is what it is...it isn't the nicest thing to happen but from what you have wrote their father wasn't interested in or a part of their lives really anyway

How much money are we talking here? Once you buy a house..you have mortgages, insurance, upkeep etc..are they going to be able to maintain it? I am sure their children are going to be almost grown and I agree with the posterst that said we all made it on our own without a 'boost' so to speak..

They are getting paid to help care for you and that in itself is something..most children assist their parents without any payment, nor would they take it expect it etc..so that there is a nice additional sum that they would not of had otherwise..not many policies would pay family to do care..and not certified care giveers. So that is something positive for them that you are doing.

We all want to help our kids and make things easier for them etc..but we need to draw the line when it is not cost effective in the long run.

They have talked about all living together once their children are emancipated. Right now there are still two young ones, 11 and 14. My adult grandson lives on his own, but my adult granddaughter still lives with her mom, although she is out of college two years now and working. My middle daughter has a 19 year-old and a 17-year-old, so they are close to being emancipated but she still has to pay all of their expenses. My youngest doesn't have children.

Yes, you remember correctly that I pay the two who are able to help me physically. I pay them what a certified care giver would get because the LTC income provides for that. I don't consider that out of line.

It also has nothing to do with the issue I'm facing now. Growing old is a witch, no doubt about it. One gets hit with one thing after another. However, if you want to continue to discuss that separate issue, have at it, feel free.

[LilacTree]

On 9/19/2014 cater said:

Ford you are not alone in a mess like this I am in the same boat you are floating around in. My monthly payments have gone up triple what I was paying a month and to cash it in right now I might get $13. All this money I have paid all these years and the policy is actually worthless famous big company to boot.

OMG, I am so sorry. I guess we have just lived too long. It turns out not to be such a blessing, doesn't it?

Are you attempting to get help?

[LilacTree]

On 9/19/2014 SurvivedOne said:

It would be a cold day in h*ll before I would allow my mother to worry, stress over anything to do with an insurance policy and/or leaving money to me. I am a grown woman and as such am fully capable of taking care of myself. My mother did her job...raising me to be the human being I am today. My job now is looking after her well-being, making sure she does right by herself. Doing the best you can is the best anyone can ever do. Unless you are someone that has lots of accessible cash, it is not selfish...in fact it is imperative for well-being, your health to ensure you have everything you need in life. You did your job and aren't aiding in your own health by engaging in drama that is totally unnecessary and causes issues with your own health.

Thanks for that.

[cater]

My insurance company name starts with a M that is giving me this problem. There is not too much I can do but they are going to get a letter from me.

[terrier3]

On 9/19/2014 cater said:

My insurance company name starts with a M that is giving me this problem. There is not too much I can do but they are going to get a letter from me.

Mine was Mass Mutual...a HUGE name in insurance!