Community Chat

[Cakers3]

I would not have even offered the $200.

This "friend" sounds as though he was in a panic about something.

$5000 is quite a bit of money to ask for out of the blue.

[jellyBEAN]

Neither a borrower nor a lender be!!

This guy sure had a lot of gall.  #1 to ask you in the first place and #2 telling you he'd then ask your husband even though you told him NO!

[Carmie]

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@Lucky Charm wrote:

I wouldn't *poke the bear* and say anything about keeping your money in your own pocket.

Desperate times can make people desperate.

I'd feign poverty, if he called back.

And I wouldn't say a word to anyone else in the circle of friends/acquaintances.  Let them talk about it first, at least.  But I wouldn't say anything that would tick the guy off, if it got back to him.  And I think it would.

Hope it's blown over for you.  

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I am not afraid of this guy or his wife.  I don't care of anything gets back to him.  I am a pretty straight forward person.  I don't need an excuse to say no and owe him no explanation.

My DH is going tomorrow morning to remove leaves from the deck, they are probably 3 ft high by now) and check on our property at the Lake.  Going with him is his friend who has a place there also (part of the couple we are very close with).  I am sure my DH will discuss this with him. They will be gone most of the day.

I have waited all night for Dave to call back..he hasn't.  Maybe he wil try again tomorrow when DH is away. Hopefully, he won't.  

Perhaps he found some money elsewhere.

[SandySparkles]

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@wishmoon wrote:

Wow, be careful, this doesn't sound like a "friend." It sounds more like someone who made a choice and is in a jam calling acquaintences (you haven't seen him in quite a while). Evidently, his close friends have already turned him down.

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Just what I was thinking! Sounds a bit shady if he would not accept her kind offer.

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

[NYC Susan]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

Would like to know more information before I rush to judge.  While usually not quick to lend money, there may be a dire need. 

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That was my first thought too.

In any case, I wouldn't give more than I could afford to lose, but there may be a good reason why this money is needed urgently and desperately.  I wouldn't rush to judgment until I knew more.

[NYC Susan]

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@Lucky Charm wrote:

I wouldn't *poke the bear* and say anything about keeping your money in your own pocket.

Desperate times can make people desperate.

I'd feign poverty, if he called back.

And I wouldn't say a word to anyone else in the circle of friends/acquaintances.  Let them talk about it first, at least.  But I wouldn't say anything that would tick the guy off, if it got back to him.  And I think it would.

Hope it's blown over for you.  

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I don't think they should feign poverty.  If they don't want to loan the money, all she has to say in response to, "Can you loan me money?" is, "No, I'm sorry. We can't."  There doesn't need to be any kind of explanation.  That just opens the door to further discussion.  If the message is intended to be a hard no, then it needs to sound that way.  No. We will not lend you money.  End of story.

[shoekitty]

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@fthunt wrote:

Sounds like he needs...money for Bail

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@fthunt 

Hreat minds think alike, lol.  Thats the first thing I thought of

[Cats3000]

You shouldn't have to avoid answering the phone.  As I said elsewhere, if he calls again tell him to stop, NOW.  If he continues to call, you may need to see an attorney or call your local PD.  You may have remedies that way.

[AngelPuppy1]

I don't lend any money that I can't afford to just give and be done with.  I can't imagine calling up someone that I am not even that close to and asking for such a large amount! I am wondering what this person could possibly be in such diire need of this amount -- which I consider large -- that he would call you like this.  And then you tell him, you can't and then he decides to go to your husband.  No, I would not appreciate this at all. You were even good enough to offer some help, which he declined.  

In this day and age, sad to say, but so many people are scammers and so many people use others and they have no intent to pay back money which they indicate is a "loan".  I am not saying this person is like this, as I have no way of knowing.  But this is definitely a strange situaton and you can't help but think --- is there no family member or closer person to whom he could have gone?  

[novamc1]

@Carmie 

Almost word for word, your experience with this prospective moocher is identical to one I had with one of my husband's oldest friends and frat brothers from college.

Husband learned a little bit about this guy way back then--to this day hasn't seen some money he "loaned" the guy right after college.

The guy has a veterinary degree, had his own practice, worked at race tracks for horse owners on the side.  Two of his three wives were wealthy.  He had every opportunity in life to put away millions of dollars.

He threw lavish parties, bragged about how much money he had,  bought both an office building and a big house,  but loans on both them were later foreclosed by lenders.

Years later, we're all aged 60s and 70s.  He still called and asked, not once but twice, for some money from my husband "to pay the rent on his house".  Of course, the answer was a definite NO.

If a person doesn't have his personal financial act together by that age and has already run out of a wealthy third wife's money, he has a  lot of nerve hitting up friends for money to pay basic living expenses.

There's more to this story, but not worth telling  The plot is the same.  Carmie, you have met up with a professional moocher.  

And you can't necessarily believe their stories about why they need the money.