Re: Lending money

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

I won't avoid answering the phone. If I wanted to, I would just block the call. So far he hasn't called back. He only called once and spoke to me.

My DH has worked in law enforcement 35 years as a police officer and 6 years in another law enforcement capacity. This is not a police matter.

My husband called me minutes ago. He said his friend that he is with today was aware that Dave was looking for money. He apparently asked another couple we know and they wanted to know why the money was needed. Dave said it was for delinquent real estate taxes and their house was on the line for sheriff auction unless it was paid ASAP.

The couple offered to pay the bill in full directly with their own personal check, and said they would place a lien on the home until it was paid back...Dave said no, he wanted cash and slammed down the phone.

It sounds dicey to me. My DH and I agreed to stear clear of this couple if they ever cross our path again. Whatever the issue is, we don't want to be a part of it.

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@Carmie wrote:
I won't avoid answering the phone. If I wanted to, I would just block the call. So far he hasn't called back. He only called once and spoke to me.

My DH has worked in law enforcement 35 years as a police officer and 6 years in another law enforcement capacity. This is not a police matter.

My husband called me minutes ago. He said his friend that he is with today was aware that Dave was looking for money. He apparently asked another couple we know and they wanted to know why the money was needed. Dave said it was for delinquent real estate taxes and their house was on the line for sheriff auction unless it was paid ASAP.

The couple offered to pay the bill in full directly with their own personal check, and said they would place a lien on the home until it was paid back...Dave said no, he wanted cash and slammed down the phone.

It sounds dicey to me. My DH and I agreed to stear clear of this couple if they ever cross our path again. Whatever the issue is, we don't want to be a part of it.

@Carmie, I wonder why if they were that desperate that they didn't just sell a personal possession. In the scheme of things $5000 isn't really all that much money especially if they appeared to being living well......unless they were just trying to con their friends and had no intention of paying it back.

VaBelle35 · ‎03-10-2010

If it's already at the Sheriff's auction stage, it seems odd that he only needs $5k. Unless he's $5k short of what he needs. Or he's trying to get $5k from 5 different people.

He is probably leveraged to the hilt, but he could get a payday loan for $5k or an unsecured credit card for $5k.

He could sell his Lexus for $5k.

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Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@VaBelle35 I am speculating that he might owe a gambling debt or borrowed from the Godfather or maybe something drug related...I really have no idea and shouldn't really think that, ( my mind is racing) but I doubt the money is needed for taxes. Why does he need cash with no paper trail?

It's very troubling.

novamc1 · ‎07-02-2015

@Carmie

Your comment about the money begger slamming down the phone is, again, very close to my experience with our potential moocher.

He would always reach me on the phone, because DH was seldom there....he was at work or elsewhere.

One night, he called, very annoyed that DH had not returned his call. Must have been true financial desperation or alcohol working on him at that moment.

I explained in a very terse voice that DH was hospitalized and wasn't calling anyone. It was true....DH had recently gotten out of the hospital and then had to return shortly after that.

The annoyance in his voice made me VERY annoyed. Then he proceeded to pepper me with questions about what was wrong with DH. Told him DH would have to explain it to him later. I've never spoken to him since that night. He still occasionally calls us, but I recognize his number on caller ID and ignore it.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@esmerelda wrote:
@Carmie wrote:
@Lucky Charm wrote:
I wouldn't *poke the bear* and say anything about keeping your money in your own pocket.

Desperate times can make people desperate.

I'd feign poverty, if he called back.

And I wouldn't say a word to anyone else in the circle of friends/acquaintances. Let them talk about it first, at least. But I wouldn't say anything that would tick the guy off, if it got back to him. And I think it would.

Hope it's blown over for you.
I am not afraid of this guy or his wife. I don't care of anything gets back to him. I am a pretty straight forward person. I don't need an excuse to say no and owe him no explanation.

My DH is going tomorrow morning to remove leaves from the deck, they are probably 3 ft high by now) and check on our property at the Lake. Going with him is his friend who has a place there also (part of the couple we are very close with). I am sure my DH will discuss this with him. They will be gone most of the day.

I have waited all night for Dave to call back..he hasn't. Maybe he wil try again tomorrow when DH is away. Hopefully, he won't.

Perhaps he found some money elsewhere.

@CarmieMaybe he was desperate enough he killed himself.

I agree...don't give him money. And it WOULD be a gift.

As far as discussing within the circle of friends,,,if your DH says something to his friend today, that's him. IMO you should still wait until you hear it from someone else. Not out of fear, but decency. If you were unfortunate (or foolish) enough to be in the same position, wouldn't you appreciate the same consideration?

That's a truly horrible thing to say.

I agree with the rest of your post, but that first sentence is cruel, unnecessary, and insensitive.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@icezeus wrote:
@Cats3000 wrote:
You shouldn't have to avoid answering the phone. As I said elsewhere, if he calls again tell him to stop, NOW. If he continues to call, you may need to see an attorney or call your local PD. You may have remedies that way.
@Cats3000

The police have more important things to do, and I would not waste my money on an attorney. The OP is handling it in the correct manner. Her and her Husband have a united front of NO!!, and the distant friend who they have not spoken with will move on to try and find someone else to get the money from.

I agree. The police won't get involved (nor should they), and an attorney is completely unnecessary. As far as we know, this guy called once, and hasn't called back. There's no need to over-react.

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

@Carmie , the few times I have loaned money, I never got it back. It was less than 100.00, and I didn't like that.

I would be mad too, that he said he would ask your husband after you said no. It sounds to me like this man is desparate and I think you and hubby need to be careful.

No way would I give or loan someone 5,000. even if they signed a promisory note, I'd be worried we wouldn't get it back.

sissel · ‎08-13-2010

When my daughter was in elementary school she had a friend she played with, her parent's house was in expensive neighborhood, they drove expensive cars and wore big label clothes. One day my daughter said they moved, we had no idea they were moving found out the house was rented, cars were leased & their parents brought all their clothes, why live a lie? I guess they wanted to live a lifestyle they couldn't afford. It's like they moved in the middle of the night. My daughter really missed her friend & never got a chance to say goodbye.

mousiegirl · ‎03-09-2010

@Carmie wrote:
I received a call about an hour ago from from a distant friend of my DH and I. He asked if my DH was there and an I said no. So he said he needed to ask for a favor. I said what do you need?

He replied $5000! I quickly replied that we did not have $5000, but I could give him $200. He said, "thanks, but no thanks" he needed $5000.

He said he would call back later to speak with my DH. I texted my DH and asked him to call me ASAP. He is not allowed to use his cell at work, so I have to wait until he is on free time.

No how, no way are we giving him $5000. My DH is weaker than I am and he has a soft spot for people that I do not. Both this guy and his wife work, both make good money and they live high and beyond their means, IMO.

Now I have to wait for my DH to either call me or get home. I hope he is not going to consider lending money. I am also ticked that when I said "No" the friend said he was going to directly ask my DH. I can't believe the nerve of some people. We haven't seen this friend and his wife for at least two years. I don't think we will hear from this guy again if we lend him money or not.

@Carmie I don't lend anything, and never money, as I would most likely never get it back. I once lent an expensive book to someone, she denied it, then months later told me she just found it, and apologized.