Community Chat

[QueenDanceALot]

Sometimes parents need to face their own contributions to the reasons that their children don't much like them.

[Surfnturf]

And I know what it's like to have an unreasonably demanding mom. I have one, but when I get frustrated with her, my husband is right there to gently remind me, she won't always be around. It also helps to have siblings who experience the same frustrations. You can lean on each other, and hold each other up.

[Yuban3]

On 5/9/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:

On 5/9/2014 Yuban3 said:

On 5/9/2014 serenity4ever said: R and R, even in the most loving families, a three week visit from mom can be too long. Your son is stuck in the middle because he knows you are at odds with the mother of his child. I remember yesterday you called him a d&ck to his face. Don't leave without apologizing and try and make amends. I hope with counseling you will learn tools to better understand your son. You clearly love him very much. It will also pave the way for a relationship with Jasmine. You may not see a lot of hope for a relationship with her but in the future your son may decide he wants you in his life so that Jasmine will know her Bella...

Seriously?!

That's what I read yesterday that she'd said.

Maybe he is one. Maybe he isn't. Or maybe he's only partly.

I'm sure there are dynamics in this relationship that we don't know anything about. After all, we only hear one side of the story.

I suspect R&R is going to have to confront her own contributions to the discord when she goes into therapy. And I also suspect that she's going to fight the therapist tooth and nail about it.

Agreed. Very rarely is any family discord ever 100% the other person's fault.

When the therapist challenges her on her role in the discord, I have the sad feeling that she will stop seeing the therapist, and then we'll hear how "mean" and "unsympathetic" the therapist was.

[Catitude]

Some of your judgmental comments about her are not helping. She's still a hurting human being on the other side of the computer screen. Talking about her instead of to her is rude.

[Surfnturf]

On 5/9/2014 Opurrra said: Some of your judgmental comments about her are not helping. She's still a hurting human being on the other side of the computer screen. Talking about her instead of to her is rude.

I agree.

[Cakers1]

R&R: I didn't read the whole thread so this may have been mentioned - all flights out of Dallas were cancelled yesterday due to severe storms. You really need to check if your flight will be cancelled again - the weather is not cooperating today, either.

I just don't want to see you stuck at the airport.

Good luck.

[lulu2]

R&R, your experience is sad but not unexpected. Things are not going to improve unless you resolve the many problems between you and your son. You need(ed) professional counseling. Based on your hundreds of posts over the years, so many of us knew this visit was only going to compound your problems. The problem is not your DIL, bedbugs, no food or whatever. It is his total disrespect for you and his lack of ambition.

Before you leave, tell your son you love him, call a cab and do not look back.

You need to stop keeping score. You frequently talk about what you've spent or what you've done for others, but no one reciprocates. We do things for others because we can. If we are expecting something in return, there's a chance it will only be disappointment.

[circles]

from other posts R&R has on here...her relationship with the son and d.i.l...was none too good.....I don't understand why she planned a three week trip to visit....that's a very long time even with the best of friendships....I am glad she is going home early...especially with the bed bug problem added to the stress of the visit....

as what someone else wrote the blame can't just be the son and the d.i.l.....from what I am reading...R&R seems way too needy....hopefully the therapist will help her with that...

[voyager1980]

On 5/9/2014 Cakers1 said:

R&R: I didn't read the whole thread so this may have been mentioned - all flights out of Dallas were cancelled yesterday due to severe storms. You really need to check if your flight will be cancelled again - the weather is not cooperating today, either.

I just don't want to see you stuck at the airport.

Good luck.

I think she's in Houston.

[Cakers1]

On 5/9/2014 voyager1980 said:

On 5/9/2014 Cakers1 said:

R&R: I didn't read the whole thread so this may have been mentioned - all flights out of Dallas were cancelled yesterday due to severe storms. You really need to check if your flight will be cancelled again - the weather is not cooperating today, either.

I just don't want to see you stuck at the airport.

Good luck.

I think she's in Houston.

voyager: Ok - still depending on where home is there could be a delay. Houston seems to be better weather wise.