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05-12-2018 06:54 PM
A friend emailed these to me. Enjoy.....
How to Please a Woman:
-Love her
-Die for her
-Take her to dinner
-Miss the game for her
-Buy her jewelry
-Be interested in what she has to day
How to Please a Man;
-Show up naked
-Bring beer
_______________________
My girlfriend left a note on the fridge:
"It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my Mom's place.
I opened the fridge.
The light came on.
The beer was cold...
What the heck is she talking about?
____________________________
I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.
___________________________
Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered.....
"who ties your shoelaces for you?"
______________________________
Every mom's lament:
I don't think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
______________________________
Billion dollar idea --
A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell
"I'M JUST COOKING!"
______________________________
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of Aisle 5.
_____________________________
My housekeeping style is best described as "There appears to have been a struggle."
_____________________________
The trouble with living along is that it's always my turn to do the dishes.
____________________________
and for the ending:
05-12-2018 06:56 PM - edited 10-09-2018 10:38 PM
05-12-2018 07:21 PM
Guess I'm lucky, I can't relate to any of that.My MIL raised a clean, healthy, very smart and loving person. I raised the same kind of son, for some lucky woman.
05-12-2018 08:27 PM
Has a strange ring to it today, IMO.
Typical stand-up stuff from the '50s. You know, like Henny Youngman's "Take my wife....please."
05-12-2018 08:27 PM
@chi5925, loved it!!! Especially the "I don't have the time or crayons" one. I'm gonna try to remember that one. LOL!
Thank YOU.
05-12-2018 09:40 PM
With a household of 5 males....yep.
I just nodded through it all. Sending it to my MIL who will do the same, lol.
05-12-2018 09:59 PM
Too funny! I especially like ‘who ties your shoelaces’!
05-12-2018 10:26 PM
thanks for sharing and giving me a good chuckle.
Asile 5 was a hoot
05-13-2018 07:12 AM
Maybe it's a little too early in the morning for me. I'll try reading them again later.
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