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Super Contributor
Posts: 449
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

A friend emailed these to me.  Enjoy.....

 

How to Please a Woman:

-Love her

-Die for her

-Take her to dinner

-Miss the game for her

-Buy her jewelry

-Be interested in what she has to day

 

How to Please a Man;

-Show up naked

-Bring beer

_______________________

 

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge:

 

"It's not working. I can't take it anymore.  I am going to my Mom's place.

 

I opened the fridge.

The light came on.

The beer was cold...

What the heck is she talking about?

____________________________

 

I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.

___________________________

 

Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered.....

 

"who ties your shoelaces for you?"

______________________________

 

Every mom's lament:

 

I don't think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.

______________________________

 

Billion dollar idea --

 

A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell

 

"I'M JUST COOKING!"

______________________________

 

Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of Aisle 5.

_____________________________

 

My housekeeping style is best described as "There appears to have been a struggle."

_____________________________

 

The trouble with living along is that it's always my turn to do the dishes.

____________________________

 

and for the ending:

 

Mat.jpg

 

Chicks.jpg

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,314
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

[ Edited ]
 
Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,702
Registered: ‎08-22-2013

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

Guess I'm lucky, I can't relate to any of that.My MIL raised a clean, healthy, very smart and loving person. I raised the same kind of son, for some lucky woman.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,733
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

Has a strange ring to it  today, IMO.

 

Typical stand-up stuff from the '50s. You know, like Henny Youngman's "Take my wife....please."

 

 


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,532
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

@chi5925, loved it!!!  Especially the "I don't have the time or crayons" one. I'm gonna try to remember that one. LOL!

 

Thank YOU.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,139
Registered: ‎04-16-2010

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

With a household of 5 males....yep. 

 

I just nodded through it all. Sending it to my MIL who will do the same, lol.

Super Contributor
Posts: 365
Registered: ‎01-07-2012

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

Too funny!  I especially like ‘who ties your shoelaces’!  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,231
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

thanks for sharing and giving me a good chuckle.

 

Asile 5 was a hoot

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,846
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Ladies, get ready to change your Depends......

Maybe it's a little too early in the morning for me.  I'll try reading them again later.


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?