Community Chat

[Lindsays Grandma]

From my December 2019 Reader's Digest issue.

1.  Tweets the Night Before Christmas:

*My mom's angry with me for letting the dogs see their presents before tomorrow morning.  Apparently I ruined their Christmas.

*One of my four nephews just brought me wine and said, Here's your Christmas juice," and now he's the one I'm leaving everything to.

*The older you get, the more holidays become about keeping your father off a ladder.

The young man loading groceries into my car let out a violent sneeze.  "Bless you! I shouted.  He leaned in the window, shook his head and said, "Nah, just doin' my job.  But thanks."

Need a star-studded pet name?  Consider these feline monikers found on the Nationwide Pet Insurance database of insured pets:

+Isaac Mewton

+Farrah Pawcett

+Reese Whiskerspoon

+Yoyo Meow

+Obi Wan Catnobi

+The Great Catsby

+Winston Purrchill

+Draco Meowfoy

The worst part of stopping during a road trip is knowing all the idiots you've passed are once again getting ahead of you.

I made dinner reservations for my wife's birthday and told the host there's an extra $20 for the bartender if they card her.

A woman at our checkout counter didn't have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents.  "Thank you," she said.  "I'm going to think of you every time I use the paper."

My boss arrived at work one day in a brand new Lamborghini.  "Wow", I said.  "That's an amazing car."  He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year."

[qualitygal]

I missed this, I have to go back to the issue and find and laminate this.  It's priceless.  I love the sneeze one.

We had a similar thing happen to us once walking through a grocery store many years ago.  Husband & I were having a conversation and he said, (as we passed a young man stacking egg cartons, "whiplash".  The young guy, without missing a beat, said, "oh, I'm fast, but I'm not that fast!!."  My husband and I looked at each other and just busted out laughing.  

[jubilant]

I especially liked the last two.  Thanks for my first laugh of the day!

[chiclet]

I enjoyed the post.  Very cute and funny.  

[Oznell]

Cute, @Lindsays Grandma !   Thanks for posting.  There's something so comforting about the fact that "Reader's Digest" is still compiling their fun "Life in These United States" section.  A comic perspective about many things really helps!

[LoveMyBaby]

@Lindsays Grandma 

Love these, and your posts, ---that Readers Digest is the best. Keep 'em coming please!!

[DbinMD]

Another morning laugh! Good for the soul. 

[NicksmomESQ]

 @Lindsays Grandma   Thanks for the morning chuckle!!

   P.S. The recent political correctness has gone overboard. Life is to serious.We need to chill & be able to laugh at ourselves again.

[BlueFinch]

I never want to miss any of @Lindsays Grandma 's posts.  When you stop being able to laugh at life, and yourself, you're missing a small, but free, source of joy.  Laughter truly IS the best medicine.  

[LoveMyBaby]

@BlueFinch @Lindsays Grandma 

I feel the same way about her threads. Love  them