Community Chat

[Lindsays Grandma]

1.   My husband cooks for me like I am a God - by placing burnt offerings before me every night.

2.   My dad suggested I register for an organ donor card.  He's a man after my own heart.

3.   I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year.  Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

4.   So you're telling me...

... a shrimp fried this rice?

... a flea runs this market?

... this garage is on sale?

4.   What happens when an artist has trouble finding inspiration?  She draws a blank.

5.   The police arrested a man selling "secret formula" tablets he claimed gave him eternal youth.  It was actually the fifth time he'd been caught for committing  the same medical fraud.  He had been arrested in 1794, 1856,

1928 and 1983.

6.   An obituary for someone you don't know can seem bland,

but these lines (from real obits) might just make you miss a person you never met:

"His wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels's in his hand so that he would appear more natural to visitor's."

"When the doctor's confronted his daughters with the

news that 'Your father is a very sick man,' in unison they replied, "You have no idea."

7.   Kitchen Yin...

My husband's favorite place to stand is right in front of

whatever cabinet I need.

       ...and Yang

Pretty sure my wife's memoir would be called  "Just take the

Extra Two Seconds and Put It in the Dishwasher."

8.   When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me

to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive.  It's a

good thing my older brother told me about it.

                                  Reader's Digest

[DbinMD]

@Lindsays Grandma 

Thank you for this mornings laugh..

[phoenixbrd]

Thanks @Lindsays Grandma  and I'll have a helping of that "secret formula"

[PamfromCT]

Thanks so much for all the cute jokes.  It’s guaranteed to make you laugh.  I certainly appreciate it!