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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS US

A friend of mine went to his doctor because he was worried about his wife's temper.  The doctor asked him to be more specific.

 

He said, "Everyday my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason.  It worries and scares me."

 

The doctor said, "I have a cure for that."  When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish and swish but don't swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down."

 

Two weeks  later he went back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn and said, "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea.  Every time my wife started losing it I swished with water.  I swished and swished and she calmed right down!  How does a glass of water do that?"

 

The doctor said, "The water itself does nothing.  It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."

 

                         ----------------------

 

When I get old I don't want people saying, "What a lovely old lady", I want them saying, "Oh cr@p, what's she up to now."

 

                         -----------------------

 

"If things get better with age then I must be getting close

to freaking magnificent."

 

                         ------------------------

                        

                      WARNING TO US ALL!!

                          Shampoo warning!!

 

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner!  I use shampoo in the shower!  When I wash my hair the shampoo runs down my whole body and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning...

 

                  "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME"

 

No wonder I have been gaining weight!  Well I have gotten rid of that Shampoo and am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead.  Its label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.  Problem solved.           

 

                      ---------------------------     

 

I have a brain like the Bermuda Triangle.  Information goes in, never to be found again.     

                       

                        ----------------------------                        

 

             This one is dedicated to my daughter...

                               "OMG!!!

"I almost went to the bathroom without my phone"

 

 

                                    THE END

 

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,580
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS US

LOVE these @Lindsays Grandma..!!!! 

 

They made me laugh out loud .....and you're right "Laughter IS good for what ails us!!!!" Smiley Happy

 

Thank you and have a great day tomorrow!! 

 

P.S. Especially love the one about the shampoo and Dawn!! Smiley Happy

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,614
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS US

I'd better stop washing my hair in the shower because that might explain my extra body and volume!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,187
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS US

Laughter is the best medicine - and just yesterday I went thru the very long post which has cartoons and read each and every one of them. 

 

As I've aged I find I really enjoy Aunty Acid posts and Maxine calendars - which are mostly crotchety old women funnies - but amazed at how the older I get the more many of them hold very true!  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,013
Registered: ‎02-19-2014

Re: LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS US

@Lindsays Grandma thanks for sharing.  These were funny.  Happy Monday!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,565
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS US

@Lindsays Grandma - thanks for starting my day with a laugh!!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,379
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS US

@Lindsays Grandma, Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,240
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS US

[ Edited ]

I think I no longer see the humor in "old people" jokes.  As I age myself, I don't like the idea of age being the punchline in a joke.   However, the last one about the phone made me laugh.  Phones are part of us now; where I go my phone goes; even if I'm just going to the kitchen...lol   I keep my phone on my bedside table but last night I put it a few steps away on the dresser.   I knew it was there.  It was ok there.  But I couldn't sleep wink until I got up and put it on the bedside table.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: LAUGHTER IS GOOD FOR WHAT AILS US

 

Thank you @Lindsays Grandma,

 

My wife and I both got some belly busters reading your post! Well actually, I read them to her and we both loved them!

 

Your good deed for the day is covered.    =^..^=

 

 

 

hckynut

 

 

 

 

hckynut(john)