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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

LAUGHABLE QUOTES

[ Edited ]

1.   It is bad to suppress laughter.  It goes back down

     and  spreads your hips.                   Fred Allen                 

 

2.   You can't have everything.  Where would you put it?

                                                         Steve Wright

 

3.   If you let your head get too big, it'll break your neck.

                                                           Elvis Presley

 

4.   I know worrying works, because none of the stuff  I 

worried about ever happened.               Will Rogers

                                                   

5.   Hating people is like burning down your own home

to get rid of the rat.                                Harry Fosdick

 

6.   Life is like a sewer...what you get out of it depends

on what you put into it.                               Tom Lehrer

 

7.   If you think you are too small to make a difference,

try sleeping with a mosquito.                          Dalai Lama

 

8.   A peacock that rests on his feathers is just

another turkey.                                          Dolly Parton

 

9.   Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run

over if you just sit there.                          Will Rogers

 

10.   Money won't make you happy...but everyone wants

to find out for themselves.                              Zig Ziglar

                                                                         

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,295
Registered: ‎03-27-2010

Thanks again @Lindsays Grandma ....lovin' Will Rogers.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,874
Registered: ‎12-07-2012

Denise
Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,629
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

I love #4.  So much truth in that.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,300
Registered: ‎05-27-2013

@Lindsays Grandma Those are great, thanks!  May I add some, please?

 

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

Rodney Dangerfield

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

Mae West

 

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
Joan Rivers

 

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Mark Twain

 

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

George Carlin