Community Chat

[cherry]

@Marp  things like you posted  are the very reason  that  the mother should talk to her child first. This  guy may well be ,guilty of nothing  ,at all.

[Marp]

@cherry, my brother and SIL always taught their children the correct name for their body parts.  When my niece was in elementary school a teacher heard her correct a classmate and because niece knew the anatomical word the teacher decided that she was being abused and filed a report.

There was a very thorough and prolonged investigation with numerous unannounced home visits, interviews of neighbors and family members and even brother's employer.

Of course the finding was unfounded but it took my brother and SIL over two years and thousands of dollars to finally get the record of the investigation expunged.

[cherry]

Thats awful @Marp.  People need to look at the entire picture, and hot make assumptions. Something like that,  could cause a  person to have a nervous breakdown, or even worse.

I'm sure they never get over it  completely

[Noel7]

---

@QueenDanceALot wrote:

---

@suzyQ3 wrote:

---

@QueenDanceALot wrote:

---

@suzyQ3 wrote:

---

@QueenDanceALot wrote:

You can "get to know" someone and still not know that they are not who you think they are.

---

That is a true statement. It goes for all of us, though. We don't live in certainty, ever. The logical conclusion is that everybody is a danger to our children. The nice SAHM up the street could be dealing drugs; the dad next door could be a child predator.

All we can do is to trust our instincts and be on top of it -- without, of course, making our children overly fearful of everyone and every situation.

I am referring here to the suggestion that no father should be host to a play date. I find that a very sad indictment of men.

---

Oh, well, I would agree about the suggestion that no father should be host to a play date.

But to think that if you "get to know" a man who kisses your young child on the lips and then everything must be okay is just not sufficient.

---

Did anyone say this? I know that I didn't. In this specific case, more information is necessary.

My replies to you have to do ONLY with the idea that all men are suspect.

---

O.K.

I think that all grown men who kiss little girls on the mouth ARE suspect.

---

*******************************

Kissing a child on the mouth was not unheard of years ago, and it included other people close to the kisser.

I had an uncle who kissed us all the mouth.  Light, not lingering and no one ever took it as sexual.  Personally, I'm not an advocate of kissing anyone except DH on the lips, for health reasons.  But I've seen plenty of families that do it.

[cherry]

@Noel7  I posted about an aunt and uncle that  gave everyone a peck on the lips. No one thought anything about it back then

[Noel7]

---

@Marp wrote:

@cherry, my brother and SIL always taught their children the correct name for their body parts.  When my niece was in elementary school a teacher heard her correct a classmate and because niece knew the anatomical word the teacher decided that she was being abused and filed a report.

There was a very thorough and prolonged investigation with numerous unannounced home visits, interviews of neighbors and family members and even brother's employer.

Of course the finding was unfounded but it took my brother and SIL over two years and thousands of dollars to finally get the record of the investigation expunged.

---

***********************************

@Marp

OMG, I also taught my child the correct anatomical names of body parts, both male and female.  And I bought her an anatomically correct baby doll.

[Noel7]

---

@cherry wrote:

@Noel7  I posted about an aunt and uncle that  gave everyone a peck on the lips. No one thought anything about it back then

---

***************************

I agree with you @cherry  It was done openly, which would not have been the case if something untoward was going on.

We have close friends from a big Italian family and they all kiss on the lips, and I'm not talking wet kisses or the like.  The brothers even kiss each other on the lips, this is not a big deal in many families, it's an old world practice.

[cherry]

I posted earlier  Jimmy Carter was a lip kisser.  Some people just are like that

[ROMARY]

I  agree that It's 'normal' in some families to kiss their own relatives on the lips.  But when it's a young daughter's young friend, some friends' parents might object.  It all depends on whether or not all are on the 'same page'.  .........'Trouble is' that I really don't know what I would do or would not do if I were in O/P's situation.  This is a 'tough one', so to speak.

[Noel7]

---

@ROMARY wrote:

I  agree that It's 'normal' in some families to kiss their own relatives on the lips.  But when it's a young daughter's young friend, some friends' parents might object.  It all depends on whether or not all are on the 'same page'.  .........'Trouble is' that I really don't know what I would do or would not do if I were in O/P's situation.  This is a 'tough one', so to speak.

---

****************************

I don't disagree with you @ROMARY  But in this instance we are talking about someone being advised to report this to protective services without knowing anything more than another neighbor kisses on the lips.  Is he a relative, a trusted lifelong friend?

We don't know, which is why the neighbor peering from across the street should tell the parents of the girl before a more radical intervention.