Kind of a petty question - Page 2

WaJa61 · ‎09-10-2012

Agreeing with all. Unless the hostess offers to let you choose, it's more appropriate to graciously accept her generous offer "as is."

Most Italian restaurants offer steak selections on the menu. You can probably find their menu online.

Enjoy, and happy birthday to you!

dooBdoo · ‎06-27-2010

I think I'd try to pick my battles. If you push the issue you might hurt her feelings, which might taint the friendship.

However, it's also important to note that this bothers you. Whatever you choose to do, try to be sure you let go of any hard feelings or any resentment on your part... that can taint the friendship, too.

Best wishes, and Happy Birthday, baileysue! ${#emotions_dlg.thumbup}$

Few things reveal your intellect and your generosity of spirit—the parallel powers of your heart and mind—better than how you give feedback.~Maria Popova

LurkyLoo · ‎08-01-2013

What a blessing to still have your precious friend with you. I wouldn't dream of offending a friend's generosity under any circumstances. If the choice of venue is this important to you, you may like to consider beginning the new tradition of the birthday girl choosing it on HER birthday. You could make that suggestion then- just offer to let her choose. I'd make no mention of it during or immediately after my own celebration, were it me. I'd feel that was like looking a gift horse in the mouth.

geegerbee · ‎03-09-2010

I can see how it looks--like I am ungrateful, and I guess I am. She has always said I could pick the place to go on my birthday and she picks on her birthday. I had been looking forward to this other place that I wanted to try, so I am kind of disappointed. I wouldn't tell someone they could pick the place and then take them someplace else. But yes, this is a 60 yr. friendship and it isn't worth it. So I told her we would be happy to accept her choice. Count me as being a poor friend.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

If I were your friend and I were taking you out for your birthday, I would want it to be where YOU wanted to go, because it is your birthday.

That said, however, I guess I'd just have to go with the flow. It might stick in my craw just a little bit that she isn't interested in my feelings and my choice. But I'd just zip it and go along with what she wants.

I get the vibe that she is VERY strong-minded about having her way. Otherwise, I imagine she would ask you where you want to go, since it's your birthday. That's why I guess I'd just let it go and, like somebody else said, pick your battles.

issiestorm · ‎09-05-2010

You did not explain that this was a reciprocal sort of gift giving - she picks the place on her birthday, and you on yours. That puts a whole different spin on it. I would not have said that I thought your reaction odd had I known that, although I still don't think she really meant this as a guilt trip, although I can't really judge on that since I don't know either of you. But since that is how the situation is, I would simply have said, let's do that on your birthday, I would like to go to this place. However, it sounds as if you've already told her that her choice is fine so by now that would be a moot point.

Rowan72 · ‎10-14-2013

On 3/5/2015 Issiestorm said:
You did not explain that this was a reciprocal sort of gift giving - she picks the place on her birthday, and you on yours. That puts a whole different spin on it. I would not have said that I thought your reaction odd had I known that, although I still don't think she really meant this as a guilt trip, although I can't really judge on that since I don't know either of you. But since that is how the situation is, I would simply have said, let's do that on your birthday, I would like to go to this place. However, it sounds as if you've already told her that her choice is fine so by now that would be a moot point.

ITA, word for word.

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

Guilt trip? really? No way.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

She's buying. On her birthday go to where you want to go.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

On 3/5/2015 baileysue said:
I can see how it looks--like I am ungrateful, and I guess I am. She has always said I could pick the place to go on my birthday and she picks on her birthday. I had been looking forward to this other place that I wanted to try, so I am kind of disappointed. I wouldn't tell someone they could pick the place and then take them someplace else. But yes, this is a 60 yr. friendship and it isn't worth it. So I told her we would be happy to accept her choice. Count me as being a poor friend.

I don't think you're a poor friend. Don't be that hard on yourself!

I do think, though, that since she's been taking you to a steakhouse the last 4 years even though she doesn't eat meat, it might be nice to go somewhere that isn't so one-sided. She was very sweet to repeatedly take you to a restaurant that didn't really appeal to her. I don't think "comparable in price" has anything to do with it. I'm sure she'd rather spend her money on a meal that she would enjoy too.

I don't see this as a guilt trip at all. She's suggesting somewhere else, which sounds to me as though she's nicely trying to not go to a steakhouse yet again. And - as someone who also doesn't eat red meat - I can't say I blame her. She clearly cares about you because she went where you wanted to year after year, and because she's now simply making a suggestion and not insisting on something else.

I think you probably could have told her that you really wanted a steakhouse, and she would have gone along with it. She sounds like that kind of friend. But personally, I think it should be more about the people and less about the food, more about the friendship & less about where you go. And you might really enjoy the Italian restaurant, and end up with a new place that you both enjoy. Sometimes change can be a good thing!

Happy Birthday, btw! I'm a March baby too!