Community Chat

[hyacinth003]

Sorry if this was already posted.  I found it really interesting and thought provoking.  Yes, from Khloe Kardashian.

She recently had a baby boy that was born via surrogate.  Father is her ex-boyfriend, NBA player, Tristan Thompson.  He has kids with like 4 women.  She supposedly found out some other woman was pregnant with his child after the surrogacy was completed.  They also have a beautiful little daughter named True.  Read baby boy's name is Tatum.

Khloe gave birth to their daughter, True, but used a surrogate for baby boy.  Not quite sure why, only speculating.

She said that she has had trouble bonding with her son.  She said that him being born via surrogate felt quite different to her.  Of course, the rocky relationship with the boy's father (he's a cheater) didn't help.  I have wondered how mothers may feel if their baby comes via surrogate.  Her sister, Kim, had 2 of her children that way.  Kim really did have a serious obstetrical issue and her doctor said it was too dangerous.  She wanted regular pregnancies but was strongly advised against it.  She had complications with the 2 she gave birth to.

Hopefully it won't hurt her son when he learns this later.  Hopefully she can talk to him.  Might have been better to see a therapist about it.  But I think it is an important topic for those who have or are considering surrogacy.

Hyacinth

[Janey2]

Sometimes you do better if you keep your thoughts to yourself. Children suffer. The world does not have to know this. If you are having a hard time talk to a doctor or your immediate family. Why do we have to know every single thought that crosses these people's minds?

[catter70]

Seems like that entire family is messed up. They shouldn't even have children.

[sabatini]

@Janey2, ITA!

But as far as the subject goes, I think anyone can have a difficult time bonding with a baby, regardless of how he or she came to be.

[beckyb1012]

It does make you wonder if she was in a committed, strong, and healthy relationship with Tatum's father then bonding with the child might not be quite so difficult.   I am sure some mothers had no problem at all especially if there was constant communication and interaction between all.   Surely Khloe did not have a "call me when it is time to meet at the hospital" type of relationship with the woman.  I would want to be making her dinner every night so life would be easy on her and the child.

[lgfan]

@Janey2 

I agree with you.  Somethings are better left unsaid.  

[Trinity11]

What is wrong with her? Does she have no filter? Since social media became a thing, I wonder how people survived before they could air out all their dirty laundry.🙄

[Sage04]

I know some mothers who suffer from Postpartum depression sometimes have a hard time bonding with their child.

[BlueFinch]

Bonding with a newborn can be challenging for multiple reasons. Some with postpartum depression struggle unaware that these feelings aren't normal, blaming themselves. Thankfully, it's talked about more now, with friends and family identifying early signs that can lead to help, restoring the bond. 

I'm no fan of Khloe, but women sharing their experiences with others can be healing. I don't think it was bad for Khloe to share. It stands to reason for me, that carrying a pregnancy, is a lot different than just showing up at the hospital to pick up newborn. Some of the bond starts while carrying the baby. It IS a different situation.

If infertile, with surrogacy the only chance for a child, the new mom might be ecstatic, but probably overwhelmed, too. Khloe's situation was different. 

Khloe sharing her feelings might help others who struggled with surrogacy bonding realize that this is not abnormal. It might help others question the stability in their life for offering the best for a child. Is it really right for them?

I doubt Khloe would have been struggling, had she not split with Tristan. The surrogate was pregnant when he cheated again. She thought the new arrival would be a shared experience. It wasn't.

Botton line: Her vision of what would happen, with this second child, didn't hold true for her. Her situation is complicated, but I think it will give some others food for thought. 

[Mindy D]

Pregnancy and post pregnancy hormones can affect bonding. Oxytocin plays a role in bonding with the infant. Khloe's feelings could stem from a lack of this biological element so important in the mother child bonding process.