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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,892
Registered: ‎07-16-2021

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

Na! 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,386
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

I’m wondering if the boyfriend knew she was staying in the trailer all along and didn’t disclose details to her.

 

I cannot believe she didn’t let him have it when they went out to lunch.  I would’ve been so uncomfortable not having bathed for 4 days.

 

i just don’t understand their reasoning. I hope your niece speaks up.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,696
Registered: ‎11-16-2014

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

Truthfully? I would have left the minute she told me I was going to stay in a camper. A 30 year old woman also could arrange to stay in a hotel. What I would worry about is just how this boyfriend thought this was fine and dandy to put his girlfriend in a camper. I would tell him to lose my number and fly home....

Occasional Contributor
Posts: 10
Registered: ‎12-02-2021

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

Why weren't the visiting and living arrangements discussed before she went away with him?  It still is the time of covid, unfortunately.  Also, the couple should have had a discussion about all this before they went.  My cousin is about 50 met a man and they were together about six months when he asked her to join him at his home in Florida for the winter.  He said to her, :" I just want you to know we will not be going out to restaurants all the time."  She responded, "Oh, that's fine. . .  do you cook?"  He was surprised at her response, and answered back,"I thought you would cook."  And she responded," Well, I think we have a lot to talk about before I commit myself to spending the winter with you in Florida."  Speak up for yourself. . . woman do have thoughts and minds and can even vote.  Always think of what you would want for your daughter/son and do the same for yourself.  That is what my mom taught me.. .  and I miss her.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,617
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

 

While your niece was in Virginia she should have asked questions. Talked to the parents.  Talked to her boyfriend. Told them how she felt. Gotten her thoughts out in the open to the family.

 

I want to add. I have not gotten together with one of my friends. Yes, for over 2 years we are still not able to get together. The woman has a disabled daughter with health issues. We are not allowed to go into her house. And she refuses to get together with us for lunch. Therefore we have not seen her for 2 years and who knows when she will be comfortable seeing us again - if ever.

 

And a family member also has a daughter with health issues. There is still no interaction with anyone at their house. You can go to their house but you can not go in. We see each other at the glass storm door. That is as close as you go.

 

People have their own comfort zones. And I wished your niece had talked about how uncomfortable she felt while she was at her boyfriend's house.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,892
Registered: ‎07-16-2021

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

She told me she used a dishcloth and the soap she had brought with her to bathe with, but it's really not the same. The boyfriend didn't act like he knew about the trailer but seemed impressed with all the work they had done to make her feel welcome. I can't fathom my niece with this guy any length of time. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,457
Registered: ‎02-14-2017

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

Throw the whole man away.

I can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone who thinks that’s ok.
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,106
Registered: ‎05-20-2011

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

Oh my goodness! Your niece needs to run the other direction-fast! I wouldn't have stayed! I hope she can value herself enough to get out of this relationship.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,491
Registered: ‎12-14-2018

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

@Duckncover :  Thanks for your quick reply!  I give up.

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,357
Registered: ‎02-19-2014

Re: Just when I thought I had heard everything

[ Edited ]

@Desertdi wrote:

I think the guy is married, and he passed her off as a "business colleague"...


That would explain all the "travelling for business." If he's already married, presumably his parents would know that. And he might be the one trying to keep her apart from his family. He might have told his family she was the one insisting on staying separately. Though why he would risk taking her to meet them at all is mind boggling. He'd have to be quite the confident, and possibly deluded, con artist. Maybe she insisted on meeting them and he feared losing her?

 

I think all the above is unlikely, but not impossible.

 

(edited to add: hopefully obviously, not everyone who travels for business has a secret family! Probably hardly anyone who travels for business has a secret family. I was not trying to imply that about everyone.)

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr