Just a little vent on someone NOT saying thanks - Page 9

Deanie · ‎03-09-2010

@CelticCrafterHow about when my DH holds the door for me and everyone piles out before I can even get in? He tells them he was holding the door for me not them.

Be that as it may, there is a lot of speculation in this thread about the lack of manners, never being taught, and all manner of rationale to justify this behavior . So, why is it that manners have not been taught? Any answers anyone?

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

Hopefully, this young woman will come around and one day look back and remember all that you did for her to make her stay a nice one and help her out. Maybe then she will realize how important it is to be thankful and grateful. Maybe it will even make her blush a little. Maybe it will even contribute to her wanting to show her children's friends the same kindness one day. Who knows??? At least you set a good example. Kudos to you and your family. A good deed really never goes unnoticed.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

@Deanie wrote:
@CelticCrafterHow about when my DH holds the door for me and everyone piles out before I can even get in? He tells them he was holding the door for me not them.
Be that as it may, there is a lot of speculation in this thread about the lack of manners, never being taught, and all manner of rationale to justify this behavior . So, why is it that manners have not been taught? Any answers anyone?

Those entering are meant to stand aside for those exiting to exit before trying to enter. That's why they exited; they thought your husband was being polite holdi g the door for them. It's to prevent those entering and exiting from creating a traffic jam.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@skuggles wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
I doubt the OP played host for a thank you. More likely it was done to please her daughter. She was disappointed her daughter's friend was rude and I don't blame her. I would be disappointed if my child chose rude friends.

A thank you is a social requirement that separates the gracious from those lacking manners. It has nothing to do with payment in the form of making the one thanked feel good.
Which shows that you had an expectation from the recipient of your good deed that was not met. You put that on the receiver as part of the social "contract". Proves what I was saying exactly. These are the strings whether or not society has adopted them as a measure of your degree of maturity or successful inculcation into accepted forms of etiquette that serve all of us, but not necessarily as I pointed out for altruistic reasons. I agree that saying thank you is the correct form of social etiquette 100%. I was speaking on a philosophical level regarding our true natures.

@skuggles, big mistake. :-)

Have I ever told you that I adore you?

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

BeccaLou · ‎02-09-2016

petepetey, I even Thank my husband for everything He does for me Everyday !!

Drythe · ‎07-09-2011

@SXMGirl wrote:
It is unfortunate that so many young people are lacking in basic manners. When I was a high school teacher, I had to teach basics that should have been taught when they were young children. Some did not know to thank someone and many did not realize that if asked how they were today, they should also ask the person how they were. I even had to teach them that if you cough or sneeze, do it into your sleeve. While I thought that was unbelieveable, my trainer at the Y was a corporate trainer and had to teach adults these same skills.

@SXMGirl

I just have to note, it's NOT just young people. Many people simply do not have, or do not use basic manners.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras

SXMGirl · ‎07-07-2010

@Drythe, I am well aware, which is why I also included that my personal trainer, who was a corporate trainer, was responsible for teaching basic manners--she was not doing personal training in corporate. Her clientele was adults.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

I hold the door open for people.

If they thank me, great, if not, I don't let it ruin my day by stewing over it, and I don't think less of them.

I don't know what's going on in their lives, they may have had something on their mind at that moment, and besides, I don't do it for the "Thank-you".

If someone holds the door open for me, yes, I thank them.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

Just throwing this into the pot - and I doubt it applies to the OP’s issue, but for all those who think that manners and social cues are either taught or not by parents and that’s why people have or don’t have them -

What about people you may know, but not be aware that they have some degree of Asperger’s or are elsewhere on the autism spectrum?

Someone like this may be able to be taught to respond “normally” but would, as often happens on TBBT, need to be reminded frequently. But it doesn’t really stick. One of the gang can chastise/guide Sheldon, but his gut reaction is “if you say so.” He verbally acknowledges it’s proper, or even expected, but he will never truly “get it” and what he does get, he doesn’t care about. There are a lot of people out there who just don’t care. They have to deal with the consequences on their own as adults.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

OfCourse · ‎08-26-2017

Perhaps she thinks the world of you and your family and is truly grateful for the time she had visiting. It seems likely to me that her opinion of what you described as her weekend is high. I make allowances for anyone at least under 25 in terms of saying thank-you or writing thank-you notes. That is a matter of how she was raised. It's sad that her parents didn't prepare her for adulthood in the way you prepared your children. In time she will learn. In the meantime, maybe you can consider overlooking this if she is otherwise a nice friend for your daughter.