Community Chat

[SeaMaiden]

@dulwich  it sounds wonderful! Now you can just relax and get on with everything! Enjoy!🙂

[Mom2Dogs]

@dulwich, glad the  phone call went well, and sounds like your kids are excited for you to move closer.

I have always wanted to get an RV and travel for 6 months or so, then settle down, but it helps when your other half has the same vision....my husband does not share my dream, ha!

Enjoy your new home.

[Mom2Dogs]

@GingerPeach my dh's mom threw away several boxes of old comic books, with out telling him, and yes, I think they would have had some value.  He has no idea what got into her! 

[Mominohio]

THis is a huge decision. I know when my mom sold our childhood home, ten years after my father passed, we had one opportunity to show and and take what we wanted. 

She minced no words, and gave no second chances, and since we were adults I think that was more than fair. 

If adult children really want something, they need to come and get it or make arrangements to have it shipped to them immediately. 

Parents don't have the time, and shouldn't be put through the emotional hostage situation of thinking they are doing wrong when they are ready to downsize and the stuff has to go.

Some tough decisions to be made, and I hope you don't regret your decisions later, but honestly only time will tell. 

Best of luck on the move and transition to the next stage of life!

[Mominohio]

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@puttypiesmom wrote:

@dulwich  "My main worry now - will I feel the same tomorrow / sale will be in August.   Help!"

Having gone through it, yes, unfortunately there will be a mourning period, there was for us though thankfully it was brief.  But from time to time I do think of certain things we got rid of and it pains me. Sentimental objects that we had for many years - furniture that was made exceptionally well, etc.  Feeling sad, well, goes with the territory.  Good luck.

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@puttypiesmom

Thank you for your honesty in this matter. So many here talk about getting rid of most/much of their things, and never looked back, have no regrets etc. 

Honestly I don't understand that. I have many things that mean a lot to me. Definitely not everything I own, or even most of it, but when someone works hard all their lives to build a home, and inherits things that are special from their heritage, I don't understand the total lack of feelings for the time they have to move on. 

Letting people know there will be tugs at the heart strings, and regrets, even if minimal, after the process, maybe forever, is a very honest and kind thing to admit, and give others food for thought.

[PINKdogWOOD]

Wow what a big step @dulwich but I'm in with you in spirit! Go forward with your plans. If you and you DH have talked this whole thing through and this is your decision and feel good about it, stick with it. You'll end up driving yourself crazy going back and forth and you'll not be able to move forward with everythnig else you need to do.

This should feel good, like a load taken off. Figure out now what to really get rid of AND don't hold back. This is the time to really downsize. I envy you in both moving and working on downsizing.

Watch, you'll be hearing from the kids real soon now too.

[GCR18]

That's a great idea.  No point moving things you know you won be keeping.  Had the kids truly wanted something, they wouldn't be changing their minds weekly.

[dulwich]

@PINKdogWOOD. Yes you're right one after another the phone has been hot but none of them are upset.

 I have all their baby stuff/photos, etc.,  DH had made lovely books putting all kinds of mementos in - for each of them which they know nothing about and they have forgotten.  I even have their 'magic' baby blankets for them.   Plan on handing these over at Christmas in our new home.    Also, I am taking some paintings  - they love - which they grew up with in our home in London - so each of them will have something to remember their childhood home by when we are no longer around.

[Blahblahvampemer]

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@dulwich wrote:

@PINKdogWOOD. Yes you're right one after another the phone has been hot but none of them are upset.

 I have all their baby stuff/photos, etc.,  DH had made lovely books putting all kinds of mementos in - for each of them which they know nothing about and they have forgotten.  I even have their 'magic' baby blankets for them.   Plan on handing these over at Christmas in our new home.    Also, I am taking some paintings  - they love - which they grew up with in our home in London - so each of them will have something to remember their childhood home by when we are no longer around.

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That reminds of the British show about people auctioning things to pay for a trip, home repairs...whatever.  One family dumped all of the family silver and such to pay for a single painting that they wanted their kids to remember from their childhood--all three of them. So much for splitting that one painting.

Having said that, we're going to get rid of about 90% of what we own, but I have had many paintings reframed, and I'll keep quite a few even if I have to pile them up against a wall in the corner.  😀

Oh, and we're having a dealer sale first, too.  I have one mini antique mall near me that I especially love, and I'm making more contacts every week.  

[Lindsays Grandma]

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@dulwich wrote:

For months DH and I have been sorting packing, readying for 'big' final move to be near our kids.

We have huge artwork collection, sculptures, books English fine china, crystal glasses, books - you name it not to mention photos, Xmas decorations and years and years of invoices, bills.  I am looking at about 24 large packed cartons and more to go.  Very tiring and emotional.

Family say they want this piece of furniture and that painting but do they really?  Do we pay between $10  to $15,000 movers fees plus storage at new destination - as we are downsizing - awaiting kids to sort out what they want or not it seems their wants change weekly.  

Today I made the jump - called in a house clearance/sales very nice, highly recommended local lady who - not bragging - was very enthusiastic about our home contents - and DH and I have decided to sell the lot!  Sales Lady told us the dealers sale would be first and she knew they would be very interested.  

 Forget what the kids do and do not want- which changes daily- there are a few exceptions sentimental paintings and sculptures which will adorn our new much smaller home plus we will purchase new furniture what we need there.

The relief of this decision is enormous - now have to phone kids - who all own their own homes fully furnished - and guess what - we now start unpacking as everything going into sale.   What does not sell goes to local Animal Shelter thrift shop.   My main worry now - will I feel the same tomorrow / sale will be in August.   Help!

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Congratulations for making that wise decision.  Your children may not be happy with it but it is your belongings to do with as you see fit.