Community Chat

[Danky]

On 3/11/2015 JustJules said:

On 3/11/2015 raven-blackbird said:

The fix you found yourself in..........you created........you became familiar with a client and then want to get upset when he takes steps to follow your lead...............there is one sentence I was told once by an instructor, because of my nature to be familiar with patients.....................FRIENDLY.....NOT......FAMILIAR..........and she was right.....................................raven

Follow my lead??!!! Wow! My "lead" was just being kind and listening to a lonely old guy rather than treating him like a J-O-B! It figures you would have a "blame the victim" mentality...or perhaps it's just because it's me. Regardless, you're wrong! I didn't create any fix, as you put it. I certainly didn't invite or encourage his behavior. You're entitled to your opinion, but I find your view very disturbing on many levels.

You should not be upset by either the words of an insensitive refrigerator sales "girl" or the actions of a silly old man...... You are safe . You won't go back. You'll be a little more cautious next time. Put it in the past and go on to the future.

[CouponQueen]

I didn't read all the replies..

I don't think you should of been "friendly" so to speak with him..bringing your dog over..etc..he is a professional client and it should of remained that.

As for what he did. I would of told him he was inapprorpriate and out of line and he had two minutes to get himself composed and under control..dressed etc..before I terminated the case and left. I would of given him fair warning and the option in his court on how the case would proceed.

I work in mental health ..so you don't really know his entire history unfortunately and I blame the agency for not providing much of a background on him.

I would report it to my direct supervisor which you did..and let them handle it..and at least be fair warned for the next aide that goes in. I don't think they will terminate him totally as he may need services and he obviously has issues.

You always need to remember to keep it professional on all levels, not that you didn't but you can't take it to the friendship level....chat about the weather..etc..but bringing your dog over and taking the step into friendship..sitting on the bed the first time was not the best idea..

I would also make it a point that no alcohol should be consumed prior to his appt or during..while you will not be going back - another person may.

Also, if your agency decides to drop him (and I dont' think they will..they are used to this type of behavior often happening..people are elderly, ill, etc...) then another agency will pick him up without a doubt..$$$$...at least make sure it is documented that the next person be forwarned.

You need to do what is best for you..you got out of there..working in mental health this isn't all that shocking or upsetting to me..people with altered mental status (so to speak..alcohol..meds..or just illness) do things that you would not normally expect..If you have never handled anybody like this before - it is going to rattle and upset you..

[Colonel Meow]

On 3/11/2015 JustJules said:

On 3/11/2015 raven-blackbird said:

The fix you found yourself in..........you created........you became familiar with a client and then want to get upset when he takes steps to follow your lead...............there is one sentence I was told once by an instructor, because of my nature to be familiar with patients.....................FRIENDLY.....NOT......FAMILIAR..........and she was right.....................................raven

Follow my lead??!!! Wow! My "lead" was just being kind and listening to a lonely old guy rather than treating him like a J-O-B! It figures you would have a "blame the victim" mentality...or perhaps it's just because it's me. Regardless, you're wrong! I didn't create any fix, as you put it. I certainly didn't invite or encourage his behavior. You're entitled to your opinion, but I find your view very disturbing on many levels.

I agree, Jules. I'm shaking my head slowly at that comment. No, just no... that's all I can say.

[Justina rae]

It goes without saying that you needed to professionally explain to Leroy that his behavior was inappropriate and leave. I would not have yelled ""I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE!"" You have to remain professional. That's all. I can't determine from a post if you did indeed become too friendly/familiar with him perhaps leading him to think you were interested in another way but it is always important to remain professional.

Another consideration is that it is entirely possible that Leroy's behavior could be a result of dementia and this should be evaluated before a person like him loses important services.

[emmysmom]

As a former caregiver, I would not go back. Its up to you if you want to report it or not. I've taken care of several men, thank goodness this never happened. I've always asked for women, I never would feel comfortable with assisting with baths etc with a man.Glad you had your dog with you! You might get a big German shepherd..(just kidding!)

[PenneyT]

OP, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you are feeling better. Stay strong.

[maryebrown_1]

Home Health Care is a particularly risky job due to the fact that it's usually just you and the client. Oftentimes any situation can be turned into a "he said she said" (or a he did/she did) incident and there are no witnesses - very problematic. therefore, Proper Documentation is especially important to protect yourself in the event that an incident is reported to the State Licensing Agency. Dementia can cloud a client's 'recollection of events', and the caregiver can be accused of inappropriate actions (which could result in the loss of your license).

I'm sorry that this happened to you, Jules. If I were you, I'd write up an incident report immediately for your supervisor, have her sign it and make sure she places it in the client's file (as well as yours). Make sure you get a copy for yourself.

I suspect this client has pulled this behavior before and you should ask your supervisor if there are complaints/incidents in his file, as well as the nature of the complaints. Caregivers have the right to see the clients' care plans and all documentation that is in the clients' files. If an employer does not allow their employees to become familiar with their clients, it's a red flag that there are many problems with both the Agency and the client...

IMO, he needs a Male Aide (to keep him under control) and I think you handled yourself the best you could, under the circumstances. You kept your cool, and when his advances/verbal suggestions became apparent, you showed him your anger yet he persisted. The best thing to do was to remove yourself...I would have done the same thing. Don't wait for your supervisor to contact you about this -- go to the agency TODAY and get the incident report on file, before someone there tries to turn this into a situation that could be adverse to you.

[HonnyBrown]

Your company assigned you to a pervert and you handled yourself gracefully. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[VioletEyes]

Excellent advice, Mary.

Jules, you did everything you could in this most difficult situation. I know that you have had a very tough year and this is the last thing you needed. Sometimes, life just makes no sense.

Please take care of yourself and know that there are many of us on this forum who wish you the best and hope you are OK.... You've been through something very traumatic and you handled yourself well.....

[Preds]

(((((Jules))))) Listen to everyone. You did the right thing and now you get it reported ASAP.