Reply
Super Contributor
Posts: 3,772
Registered: ‎06-25-2013

Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?**discussion closed for commenting***

So, I've been working both a full-time day job and an evening/weekend part-time job. The part time work is with a home health care company, and one of my clients (we'll call him Leroy but that's not his real name) did something tonight that was totally offensive. Leroy is an older man, just turned 71 and I had enjoyed his company. He was an easy client, just a lonely old bachelor with some health issues, but he mainly just needed someone to keep him company and do light housekeeping and sometimes meal preparation. Unlike some of my other clients that require bathing and toileting assistance, Leroy was really easy. He had lots of interesting stories to tell and it was an enjoyable "job" up until tonight. Leroy does drink sometimes, and last night he started to act a little peculiar. He faked some chest pains and went to rest on his bed, then asked me to sit with him. Of course I was concerned because he has Emphysema and also takes some heart meds, so I asked him if I needed to call the paramedics. He said no, then proceeded to rub my leg and tried to hug me. He has been a very informal client, asking me to bring my dog over so he can play with her, but he has never acted inappropriate with me. I figured perhaps he had been drinking, and I made an excuse that I needed to take my dog out to go to the bathroom and he needed to just rest. When I returned a few minutes later he had fallen asleep, so all was good. Well, tonight things started off fine. We chatted for awhile, then he went to lie down on his bed. This isn't unusual as he often gets tired and keeps odd sleep hours. A few minutes later I smelled the overwhelming scent of men's cologne, like he bathed in it...and out he strolls in some sweat pants (he had been wearing jeans). He then proceeds to remove his sweat pants and sits at his table in boxer shorts. This is the first time he has ever done this, but he says he often likes to get comfortable at night. I have been attending him for a couple weeks and this is the first time he ever changed clothes. So anyway, no my guard is up and I stood in the kitchen washing up some dishes hoping he would go back to bed. Instead he came into the kitchen and asked me to go sit with him on his bed. I told him I had been sitting with him in the dining room, and it wasn't appropriate for me to sit on his bed. He then approached me and asked me for a hug, and it was clear he was aroused. He went and stood at the end of the counter, and then exposed himself to me. I was shocked, disappointed and furious....but not entirely surprised considering his behavior leading up to it. I told him in a firm voice, but not yelling, that he was completely out of line and I was leaving and would not return. He had the nerve to actually ask me if I had any girlfriends. That is when I yelled, and told him I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE! That I was paid to provide him home health care, and he told me he knew, but again asked if I had any girlfriends. I told him I had to report this incident, and that I was very disappointed. I had actually grown to like him, brought him a birthday cake a few days ago because he has no family... and he ruined it all. Of course I quickly gathered my purse and dog, and left. When I got home I called my supervisor and told her I had left the assignment, the reason why, and that I would give her further details when we spoke, but that I would suggest our company terminate any future services for Leroy. The supervisor has yet to call me back.


Did I handle things the best way possible? What else should I have done, if anything. I am sad and disappointed, and frankly feel a little violated. I'm a big girl, so it's not like I've never seen one before, but he completed ruined a working friendship. I've had a super long day, was very tired, and this was the last thing I needed. They say there is a first for everything, and this is the first time something like this has happened to me on the job.


Thanks for allowing me to vent. Anyone else ever been in a similar situation? What did you do?

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,417
Registered: ‎09-20-2014

Re: Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?

Sounds like my former landlord. Dude was perverted....never toward me. But I got out of there after I heard about some of the things he did to others.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 944
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?

Jules, you did the right thing. Your instincts were spot on and you protected yourself, as you should have. Leroy took it all too far. The supervisor should call you back and listen to your experience.

So sorry this happened. Dirty old man!{#emotions_dlg.mad}

Super Contributor
Posts: 2,103
Registered: ‎05-25-2014

Re: Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?

I work in mental health, so yes - I've experienced that and much more. It's never an easy situation to extricate yourself from, and it sounds as though you handled yourself as professionally as possible. I'm sorry you had to go through this tonight. {#emotions_dlg.sad}

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,603
Registered: ‎10-05-2010

Re: Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?

Seems to me that you did the right thing and all that you could. You told him he was totally inappropriate, you left, you reported the incident, and you won't be seeing him again. I understand your feeling disappointed. You thought he was a good guy and you enjoyed your time with him.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,350
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?

Jules, I think you did everything right. I can't imagine now upset you must be. ((hug)) It's a good thing he wasn't more physical, because sometimes even older guys can be quite strong. Make YOURSELF a nice drink and relax. Try to put it out of your mind as much as you can, so you can get some sleep and be good for work tomorrow. You know you're not going back there.
If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 3,697
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?

I think you handled every aspect correctly. Just make sure you continue to document things in writing. If I were you I'd write a letter to the supervisor with the details and not just count on verbal documentation. Since the company is in the money making business they might be reluctant to lose a client.

It's always a victory for me when I remember why I entered a room.
Valued Contributor
Posts: 706
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?

JustJules, you handled this situation perfectly. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,800
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?

Yes, you acted on the situation and removed yourself. I think you did the right thing. Not sure if he is in complete control of himself but clearly, you can not continue to work in this kind of environment.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,470
Registered: ‎01-01-2015

Re: Job Issue - need to vent... what would you do?

Wow Jules, I am so very sorry that this happened to you. {#emotions_dlg.sad}

What a terrible situation to be put into.

You did fine, and totally did the right thing by leaving right away, and like Sassenach said, by protecting yourself. If something like that were to happen to me, I would have done the same thing, too.