Jim Carrey's GF Commits Suicide - Page 8

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@chickenbutt wrote:
@KingstonsMom wrote:
@catwhisperer wrote:
@chickenbutt...OMG, no child should have to endure that kind of abuse!!! Without going into details, my mother was very abusive and would beat me just because she felt like it. I was verbally, physically, and psychlogically abused. She should have been arrested and thrown in jail, but back in those days, everyone kept it to themselves, even the neighbors. They all knew what was going on, but did nothing. You are one brave, strong lady!!!
@catwhisperer

I share your pain too, Cat. You're also a brave, strong lady.......you survived in spite of her.

Wow, I guess we're all in that club that nobody should have to be in.

One of the remarkable things that I recall from my childhood was when somebody at school (a teacher or some employee) noticed that some things were wrong and asked me. I made the mistake only once of telling of just SOME of the abuses.

Guess what they did back then? They went to your abuser to discuss it! So then you go home and get the qrap beat out of you for saying something. I learned fast to just keep my trap shut.

I also feel like others had to know. The beatings were pretty awful and you know people heard the screaming. I was afraid of her so I tried to always be 'good'. Needless to say that didn't stop the beatings and the screaming.

But I remember episodes in public places where it was clear what was going on. I remember one of the brothers acting up in church and her taking him out to the foyer to give him a beating. Uh, everybody inside heard every bit of that. It wasn't that big of a church. Do you think anything came of that? Nope. Nobody ever said a word. I was pretty embarrassed, though!

On another note, I always thought it must be so cool to have a mother who loved you. I had had friends, over the years of my childhood, who had loving, nurturing mothers and I longed for that off and on during my life. At some point you have to just realize that you would never have that, but one can dream!

@chickenbutt

I faked having appendicitis and actually had it removed, to get out of one beating. Back then there was no 'test' that could confirm nor deny it.

Our Dr. knew what was going on, since he stitched up my wrist, when I slashed it previously. Even HE did nothing to help me get away from her.

Lucky for me, she deserted me for husband #6 (who didn't want to be saddled with a teenager), when I was 16 and I took off and took care of myself after that.

I don't even know if she's still alive.

As to your last paragraph, I longed for the same kind of mother.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

IG wrote:
chickenbutt wrote:
IG wrote:
Catwhisperer wrote:
@chickenbutt...OMG, no child should have to endure that kind of abuse!!! Without going into details, my mother was very abusive and would beat me just because she felt like it. I was verbally, physically, and psychlogically abused. She should have been arrested and thrown in jail, but back in those days, everyone kept it to themselves, even the neighbors. They all knew what was going on, but did nothing. You are one brave, strong lady!!!
@Catwhisperer

I share your pain too, Cat. You're also a brave, strong lady.......you survived in spite of her.

Wow, I guess we're all in that club that nobody should have to be in.

One of the remarkable things that I recall from my childhood was when somebody at school (a teacher or some employee) noticed that some things were wrong and asked me. I made the mistake only once of telling of just SOME of the abuses.

Guess what they did back then? They went to your abuser to discuss it! So then you go home and get the qrap beat out of you for saying something. I learned fast to just keep my trap shut.

I also feel like others had to know. The beatings were pretty awful and you know people heard the screaming. I was afraid of her so I tried to always be 'good'. Needless to say that didn't stop the beatings and the screaming.

But I remember episodes in public places where it was clear what was going on. I remember one of the brothers acting up in church and her taking him out to the foyer to give him a beating. Uh, everybody inside heard every bit of that. It wasn't that big of a church. Do you think anything came of that? Nope. Nobody ever said a word. I was pretty embarrassed, though!

On another note, I always thought it must be so cool to have a mother who loved you. I had had friends, over the years of my childhood, who had loving, nurturing mothers and I longed for that off and on during my life. At some point you have to just realize that you would never have that, but one can dream!
@chickenbutt

I faked having appendicitis and actually had it removed, to get out of one beating. Back then there was no 'test' that could confirm nor deny it.

Our Dr. knew what was going on, since he stitched up my wrist, when I slashed it previously. Even HE did nothing to help me get away from her.

Lucky for me, she deserted me for husband #6 (who didn't want to be saddled with a teenager), when I was 16 and I took off and took care of myself after that.

I don't even know if she's still alive.

As to your last paragraph, I longed for the same kind of mother.

Oh-my goodness! We DID have the same mother. Mine was married quite a large number of times.

I was in the hospital a number of times when I was very young. She hated it. She didn't have her little slave to do everything. I LOVED it! People there were so nice.

She was so good at acting sweet and got the guys reeled in. Then, after she got them to marry her, she reverted back to herself. Before it even went really bad she would be out there recruiting the next one, so the next one was already on the line by the time she was divorced.

What was nauseating for me was that I'd know people who would say 'your mother seems so sweet'. UGH, made me want vomit. My husband said that he saw through her from the first minute. I don't even know if she is dead or alive. Honestly, and I hate to sound like a hateful person, but I don't even care. I've never hated anybody else and I even tried not to hate her for a while. I learned that I was unsuccessful in that. I don't dwell on her or walk around with bitterness following me but when I think about her I feel nothing but disdain and hatred.

She did some horrible things to me. She should never have had kids, but at least most of it was dropped on me and the other kids didn't have it quite as bad. Don't get me wrong, it was not a bed of roses for any of us, but they seemed to escape having her manifest her self-loathing upon them so I'm glad for that. 2 of the 3 of them turned out to be great people.

catwhisperer · ‎07-11-2010

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.

stazgirl · ‎06-11-2014

@chickenbutt wrote:
@KingstonsMom wrote:
@chickenbutt wrote:
@KingstonsMom wrote:
@catwhisperer wrote:
@chickenbutt...OMG, no child should have to endure that kind of abuse!!! Without going into details, my mother was very abusive and would beat me just because she felt like it. I was verbally, physically, and psychlogically abused. She should have been arrested and thrown in jail, but back in those days, everyone kept it to themselves, even the neighbors. They all knew what was going on, but did nothing. You are one brave, strong lady!!!
@catwhisperer

I share your pain too, Cat. You're also a brave, strong lady.......you survived in spite of her.

Wow, I guess we're all in that club that nobody should have to be in.

One of the remarkable things that I recall from my childhood was when somebody at school (a teacher or some employee) noticed that some things were wrong and asked me. I made the mistake only once of telling of just SOME of the abuses.

Guess what they did back then? They went to your abuser to discuss it! So then you go home and get the qrap beat out of you for saying something. I learned fast to just keep my trap shut.

I also feel like others had to know. The beatings were pretty awful and you know people heard the screaming. I was afraid of her so I tried to always be 'good'. Needless to say that didn't stop the beatings and the screaming.

But I remember episodes in public places where it was clear what was going on. I remember one of the brothers acting up in church and her taking him out to the foyer to give him a beating. Uh, everybody inside heard every bit of that. It wasn't that big of a church. Do you think anything came of that? Nope. Nobody ever said a word. I was pretty embarrassed, though!

On another note, I always thought it must be so cool to have a mother who loved you. I had had friends, over the years of my childhood, who had loving, nurturing mothers and I longed for that off and on during my life. At some point you have to just realize that you would never have that, but one can dream!
@chickenbutt

I faked having appendicitis and actually had it removed, to get out of one beating. Back then there was no 'test' that could confirm nor deny it.

Our Dr. knew what was going on, since he stitched up my wrist, when I slashed it previously. Even HE did nothing to help me get away from her.

Lucky for me, she deserted me for husband #6 (who didn't want to be saddled with a teenager), when I was 16 and I took off and took care of myself after that.

I don't even know if she's still alive.

As to your last paragraph, I longed for the same kind of mother.

Oh-my goodness! We DID have the same mother. Mine was married quite a large number of times.

I was in the hospital a number of times when I was very young. She hated it. She didn't have her little slave to do everything. I LOVED it! People there were so nice.

She was so good at acting sweet and got the guys reeled in. Then, after she got them to marry her, she reverted back to herself. Before it even went really bad she would be out there recruiting the next one, so the next one was already on the line by the time she was divorced.

What was nauseating for me was that I'd know people who would say 'your mother seems so sweet'. UGH, made me want vomit. My husband said that he saw through her from the first minute. I don't even know if she is dead or alive. Honestly, and I hate to sound like a hateful person, but I don't even care. I've never hated anybody else and I even tried not to hate her for a while. I learned that I was unsuccessful in that. I don't dwell on her or walk around with bitterness following me but when I think about her I feel nothing but disdain and hatred.

She did some horrible things to me. She should never have had kids, but at least most of it was dropped on me and the other kids didn't have it quite as bad. Don't get me wrong, it was not a bed of roses for any of us, but they seemed to escape having her manifest her self-loathing upon them so I'm glad for that. 2 of the 3 of them turned out to be great people.

YEP! my ex was "a pillar of the community" a high up in the park service in the small community we lived in, so of course, he would NEVER do anything like that....BS, I left when my son tried to intervene, knew absolutly I needed tog et out of that environment, so with no money and no job I left. through the grace of God and some good people I made it.

MaggieMack · ‎10-01-2014

@stazgirl, your story about your son's struggle hit me at the center of my being. I am so very sorry for your loss, and for the unkind words that you weren't meant to hear, but did. The irony of suicide is that one person's agony ends, but it is the beginning of great pain for those left behind. What can anybody say or do? May you remember with great joy the wonderful child that was yours.

Several years ago, I was hired to assemble a database of 911 calls that were received in our community that were related to suicide. I left work each day with such a heavy heart. I had NO idea of the number of people on any given day who were contemplating suicide, nor the number who actually accomplished it. Devastating numbers. Shocking. It is such a closely held secret that will only change when more light is shined on it. The sharing your story is a ray of that light, and I thank you for that. No family is immune. God alone knows their anguish, and I have no doubt that these are the ones He holds closest when they come home. Peace be with you and your family.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. - Aesop

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@chickenbutt wrote:

Oh-my goodness! We DID have the same mother. Mine was married quite a large number of times.

I was in the hospital a number of times when I was very young. She hated it. She didn't have her little slave to do everything. I LOVED it! People there were so nice.

She was so good at acting sweet and got the guys reeled in. Then, after she got them to marry her, she reverted back to herself. Before it even went really bad she would be out there recruiting the next one, so the next one was already on the line by the time she was divorced.

What was nauseating for me was that I'd know people who would say 'your mother seems so sweet'. UGH, made me want vomit. My husband said that he saw through her from the first minute. I don't even know if she is dead or alive. Honestly, and I hate to sound like a hateful person, but I don't even care. I've never hated anybody else and I even tried not to hate her for a while. I learned that I was unsuccessful in that. I don't dwell on her or walk around with bitterness following me but when I think about her I feel nothing but disdain and hatred.

She did some horrible things to me. She should never have had kids, but at least most of it was dropped on me and the other kids didn't have it quite as bad. Don't get me wrong, it was not a bed of roses for any of us, but they seemed to escape having her manifest her self-loathing upon them so I'm glad for that. 2 of the 3 of them turned out to be great people.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

stazgirl · ‎06-11-2014

FOR MAGGIEMACK>>>>>>Thank You, and for Catwhisperer also, I know there are others on here who have lost as we have, maybe just not ready to tell the story, they will one day.. One of his funeral songs was "I'LL STAND BY YOU" by Carrie Underwood. The line that said says "I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you" resonates loudly with me, because he has been gone for 8 years and some uneducated, selfish, rude, hateful, self righteous people still try to hurt his memory with their words. I know he is saving me a place, right next to him, and I know there are those who think that when one takes their own life, they do not go to heaven, I beg to differ, In cleaner out his apartment, we found a letter my son had written and dated to the lord, in his bible a month before his death, He asked him for help, said he wanted to find his soul, his love, his purpose and his life, he said he just wanted to be happy and asked the lord for help....He got his answer, may not of been the answer Matt wanted, Certianly wasn"t the answer I wanted, but none the less, he got his answer, and God called him home,

catwhisperer · ‎07-11-2010

@stazgirl wrote:
FOR MAGGIEMACK>>>>>>Thank You, and for Catwhisperer also, I know there are others on here who have lost as we have, maybe just not ready to tell the story, they will one day.. One of his funeral songs was "I'LL STAND BY YOU" by Carrie Underwood. The line that said says "I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you" resonates loudly with me, because he has been gone for 8 years and some uneducated, selfish, rude, hateful, self righteous people still try to hurt his memory with their words. I know he is saving me a place, right next to him, and I know there are those who think that when one takes their own life, they do not go to heaven, I beg to differ, In cleaner out his apartment, we found a letter my son had written and dated to the lord, in his bible a month before his death, He asked him for help, said he wanted to find his soul, his love, his purpose and his life, he said he just wanted to be happy and asked the lord for help....He got his answer, may not of been the answer Matt wanted, Certianly wasn"t the answer I wanted, but none the less, he got his answer, and God called him home,

That is so sad. (((Hugs)))

I promise to remind myself every day that I am strong, courageous, and resilient.

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@chickenbutt wrote:

Oh-my goodness! We DID have the same mother. Mine was married quite a large number of times.

I was in the hospital a number of times when I was very young. She hated it. She didn't have her little slave to do everything. I LOVED it! People there were so nice.

She was so good at acting sweet and got the guys reeled in. Then, after she got them to marry her, she reverted back to herself. Before it even went really bad she would be out there recruiting the next one, so the next one was already on the line by the time she was divorced.

What was nauseating for me was that I'd know people who would say 'your mother seems so sweet'. UGH, made me want vomit. My husband said that he saw through her from the first minute. I don't even know if she is dead or alive. Honestly, and I hate to sound like a hateful person, but I don't even care. I've never hated anybody else and I even tried not to hate her for a while. I learned that I was unsuccessful in that. I don't dwell on her or walk around with bitterness following me but when I think about her I feel nothing but disdain and hatred.

She did some horrible things to me. She should never have had kids, but at least most of it was dropped on me and the other kids didn't have it quite as bad. Don't get me wrong, it was not a bed of roses for any of us, but they seemed to escape having her manifest her self-loathing upon them so I'm glad for that. 2 of the 3 of them turned out to be great people.

@chickenbutt

Yep, definitely the same woman or her evil twin. I felt/feel the same way you did/do in your bolded statement above.

I had 3 older siblings who didn't get her abuse to the degree that I did and always wondered why.

At 41, I found out that she had cheated on my Dad and he wasn't my bio Dad and that's why he divorced her.

So I was a constant reminder of her 'dirty deed', I guess.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

stazgirl · ‎06-11-2014

There are truly some hateful, sick people in the world. Your mother is suppose to protect you from all evil, you should NOT have to be protected from her..