JOKES TIME TO LAUGH

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. Whatever you look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

2. Three elderly ladies are discussing their mental health. The first lady says, "Today I was at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember if I had just gone up or was I about to go down."

3. Teacher: Can you tell me the most common word students use daily?

Student: Can't sir!

Teacher: Brilliant! Absolutely right!

4. 1st son: Degree in Economics

2nd son: MBA

3rd son: PhD

4th son: Thief

Neighbor: Why don't you throw the 4th son out of your house?

Father: He is the only one earning money. The rest are

unemployed.

5. A SIGN OF THE TIMES:

Daddy, since you lost your job and mommy is supporting us, should I give my Father's Day card to her?

6. I keep a nude painting of myself in my living room. Laugh if you want, but it sure keeps company from dropping by.

7. I always go the extra mile. Usually because I'm lost.

8. A man in a restaurant said to a stranger sitting at the next table: "Do realize that you are reading your newspaper upside down?" "Of course I realize it, do you think it's easy?"

9. People don't always post on my Facebook Wall but when they do, they wish me a Happy Birthday and then ignore me for another year.

10. If you are grouchy, irritable, annoying, or just plain mean, there will be a $15 charge for putting up with you.

11. "Darn, another rerun on the Food Channel."

"That's the microwave, Bob."

12. Three horrible facts:

1. Today is not Friday.

2. Tomorrow is not Friday.

3. Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.

To Be Continued

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

DbinMD · ‎09-18-2019

@Lindsays Grandma

I love these, esp, #9, as today is my Birthday.. and it is true for some friends. the others are quite funny too!

godi · ‎03-09-2010

The first two are hysterical! 🤣☕️❤️

godi · ‎03-09-2010

@DbinMD Happy Birthday! 🎂

DbinMD · ‎09-18-2019

@godi

Thank you.. I guess I can say that he still loves me, cause I'm 64.

twinny70 · ‎07-03-2012

DbinMD, happy 64th birthday & many more. I hope that you have a great day and can eat a big piece of 🎂🎂🎂for me.

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@DbinMD wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma

I love these, esp, #9, as today is my Birthday.. and it is true for some friends. the others are quite funny too!

@DbinMD Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear DbinMD, Happy Birthday to you, and many more.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

DbinMD · ‎09-18-2019

@Lindsays Grandma

Thank you so much for the Birthday wishes. I had found out on Sunday that my daughter, who lives in Indiana, was coming to surprise me for my Birthday. We had a wonderful day. We went out for lunch and we had steamed crabs. Yum, they were so good. We drove around and talked and had so much fun, really catching up. But in my true daughters form, when she was getting ready to leave, she couldn't find her keys. She called some locksmiths an couldn't find anyone to come. My husband helped her, and we finally got her car open, and guess what? The keys weren't in there, she finally found them in our 1st floor bathroom. This is why I said, in my daughters form, something always happens. LOL. When I got home my son had sent me beautiful flowers, they are so pretty. And on Saturday, I am leaving for a trip to Phoenix, Las Vegas, and then finishing up in Laguna Beach. So, I had a wonderful Birthday.