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Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,039
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@LilacTree You made me laugh out loud.  That's what my dear mother would have said when we were surrounding her during her last breaths in the hospital.

 

She was bright-eyed right up until she took her last breath.  We were all talking and joking.  (She'd been married 6 times to 3 different men).

 

My brother was talking about his wife (who'd died recently) how he'd see her in Heaven.

 

My mother (clear as day) chirped in and said, "I wonder which husband is going to greet me with open arms".

 

The only time I said those words was when my beloved cat (Penelope) died.  I'd just had to put to sleep my husband's favorite cat after he'd died.  I made up my mind I wasn't going to do that again.

 

The Vet had said Penny was going to die that night he was almost sure.  I took her home.  Put her in bed with me and stayed up all night next to her.  THAT's when I said, "Penny, it's OK to go to Heaven now.  Daddy's there waiting for you".

 

It sounds strange, but that's when she died.  I know you can't do that very often.  But that time I was able to do it.

 

When my husband dropped dead downstairs and I was doing CPR does anyone think I'd have said, "It's OK to go".  Hell no!  I was yelling inbetween CPR and pushing on his chest not to leave me.  (There were a few other words...Ha!).

 

@LilacTree  Now I'm here boo hooing at the memory.  But thanks for your post.Heart

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,298
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

They're really hard words to say but sometimes they are needed and to not say them would be selfish.

 

When I knew it was time to say them to my sister, it was very hard because she was the only one I had left.  My parents and brother had passed.

 

I told her I really didn't want to say them but I knew it was time and she said she was waiting for them because she didn't want to be selfish and leave me until I was ready. </3

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,982
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

[ Edited ]

@Annabellethecat 

And then you made me laugh, Annabelle!  

 

Sometimes it’s good for us to be able to laugh at scary things.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,186
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

I am one who is convinced and believe in life after death so I am looking forward to my next life which I am convinced will be a life of great happiness with no death, pain, or sorrow.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,391
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

❤️

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,453
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

My much younger cousin in the hospital with lung cancer, got up out her hospital bed and told her sister it was time for her to go.

 

Her sister lead her back to bed and ask her where she had to go?

 

She closed her eyes and passed away. 

 

 

 

When my Dad was in hospice we all told him it was ok to go & we would take care of Mom. 

 

I think it helps us as much as it helps them. 

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,706
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@LilacTree 

 

I had to laugh at your post, too ... reminded me of my brother, who died two years ago after a fall that paralyzed him from the neck down.   

 

His wife kept telling him to "go toward the light," ...  he replied "I don't see any light."   He died six months later  after telling his daughter that he was ready to go be with his brother.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,932
Registered: ‎06-25-2014

Re: “It’s okay to go.”


@LilacTree wrote:

That’s what one of the nurses at the hospice told me to say to my sister when she was terminally ill with lung cancer.

 

Although I wasn’t really sure I wanted to say that, I waited for a private moment with her and said it.

 

There was dead silence in the room that seemed endless.  Then my sister looked up at me with her bright green eyes and a puzzled expression and said “Go where?”

 

 I never felt so stupid in my life.  She died two months later.


you know what @LilacTree ?  i had the exact same reply from my dear, dear friend when hospice suggested those words and she replied exactly the same as your sister.   i also felt like an idiot.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,300
Registered: ‎02-22-2015

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

[ Edited ]

Instinctively, I knew to say, "It's time to go" to my husband. His smile was one of relief and his passed away within an hour. It was as if he had been holding on for US. He was still showing his love and concern at the very end; afraid our son and I would be hurt. Still don't understand why he didn't realize it hurt much more to see him suffering. 

 

Mom was so close to death. We had talked about it and she was at peace; anxious to go. We were so close, I was comfortable with her death. As she began to lapse out of conscienceness, I left for a few hours. Returned. It took her longer than expected. She passed away 36 hours later. I've always been saddened her transition didn't go quickly. She deserved so much better. The last 14 years as a dementia patient had been so rough, but she was always so friendly, smiling and happy. Sh 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,881
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

That is exactly what happened when my Da passed on.  as another anecdote I saw somewhere some mystical person saying he knew the seven words that would ease a loved ones passing.   Well, so do I.  They are..."Every thing will be taken care of."

Remembering all who have go on before us.