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Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,592
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

We have to find humor in life and this made me laugh.  Perhaps that nurse watches too many tv hospital shows.  It reminds me of an experience with my sister.  She had brain surgery for an aneurysm and it was touch and go for awhile.  It took much longer than expected for her to come out of the anesthesia but when she did, she looked at me and said  "I need my red lipstick and earrings".  The nurse standing beside me touched me on my arm and said  "don't worry, delusions at this point are perfectly normal".  I burst out laughing!  I'm sure that nurse thought I was delusional!  But, that was totally my sister!  I was so relieved because I knew she was "back" and she would be perfectly fine.  We come from a long line of girly girls who are into our makeup and jewelry; so, it made perfect sense that upon waking up she'd want her lipstick and earrings.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,993
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

[ Edited ]

@hayseed0 wrote:

@LilacTree   I'm a nurse, and have had the honor of being with dying patients getting ready for their next chapter in the heavens.  I believe just being next to the dying person and letting them know how much they are loved and will always be loved eases their soul and mind enough to let them leave this sweet earth. 


@hayseed0 

Another thing that happened was the day before she died, I went to her bedside and she was lying flat with her head turned to the side.  She was so beautiful with such a peaceful look on her face.  I touched her and said “oh, my darling,” and there was no response, no movement, and I knew I would never get an answer again.  Wherever she was going, she was halfway there.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Valued Contributor
Posts: 781
Registered: ‎03-08-2018

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

I think its OK to say that if the person has already made comments such as "I'm ready to be with so and so."  Other than that, your loved one may not be ready.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,236
Registered: ‎11-24-2011

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

[ Edited ]

@LilacTree  I feel sometimes the soul is already in Heaven reunited with their loved ones who have come to their bedside and have escorted  them on their journey.  Whenever a patient who was unresponsive  was reaching their arms up towards the ceiling of the room, often called "dream weaving"  I would reassure the family that we were in the presence of great people gone before us and that their loved one was reacing for them, joyous and unafraid  and ready to leave this green earth.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,993
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@hayseed0 

Actually I don’t envision something like that, hayseed.  All I was trying to say was that for all intents and purposes, she was gone from us before she died the next day, and her peaceful appearance showed her acceptance.  And I (we) took some solace in that.

 

Thank you for your lovely interpretation though.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,324
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

I said it to my mother, and she passed shortly thereafter.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,388
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

Hi, Lilac Tree,   A memory from a dear friend who didn't get the "go with the flow" memo. . .

The hour he died, he addressed us who had assembled to support him (at his home) with a question:  "Can't we all dress up and just go out to eat?"

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,502
Registered: ‎09-30-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@Chrystaltree @LilacTree   I had significant surgery a year ago and what was anticipated to take three hours or so took at least double that.

 

When I was just at the beginning of coming out of the anesthesia I am told that I was describing what I saw while I was "out" and talking to the surgical team and my family,  describing the other side as being filled with jazz music and mentioning old music club friends (some my age and some a little younger) that had predeceased me that were all hanging out together and grooving and all extremely vibrant and happy.  

 

I have never thought there was any stress on the other side; all the worries and troubles are here as challenges so that we experience life aspects and learn and grow from them and help others to do the same by our encounters whether brief and trivial or lifelong and profound.  

 

I was a tad regretful that I had to break away from them and come back, but I did come back with a smile, knowing that it will all be there when it is the right time for me to pass over.  The journey will continue.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,813
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@aroc3435   You made my day!  And my week!  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,502
Registered: ‎09-30-2010

Re: “It’s okay to go.”

@Sooner   Glad I could.  I have always been a vivid dreamer, too, from the time I was very, very little.  Probably why I love young children so much--I know they are much closer to the truth of things that they are gradually "socialized" away from as they grow up, as they have to be, to function on this earthly plane.

 

When we dream we recapture some of the insight we lose in the humdrum of the necessary things we do in our waking state.  I'm very fortunate to almost always be able to go to sleep, and deep sleep, with ease.

 

Been here before, and will be again, probably many, many more times--haven't learned enough to escape coming back.