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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,774
Registered: ‎07-18-2013

Re: It's Halloween! Have you ever been "ghosted?"

Very long ago I was "ghosted" by a man that I saw briefly who just stopped calling.  This was many years ago before cell phones or social media.  He called me over a year later to apologize and told me he wanted to re-establish our contact.  I told him the truth:  I just had surgery and was on pain meds and that was the only reason I was being nice to him at all.  HIs behavior was unacceptable and he should just go away again. 

If my dog doesn't like you, neither do I.
Super Contributor
Posts: 293
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

Re: It's Halloween! Have you ever been "ghosted?"

Friends in high school especially...had about five close ones.

 

We all ran around together, co-ed dances, movies, fun stuff.  Each time one of them got married, that was it...no more calls, nothing.  I get it, your husband comes first, but it was almost as if I was needed for "their transportation mode" only.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,914
Registered: ‎12-02-2013

Re: It's Halloween! Have you ever been "ghosted?"

Yes, about 5 years ago it happened.  We had spent a lot of coffee times, discussing / venting / trouble shooting / arranging dinners with spouses / exchanging gifts.  I even found her unique style of clothing and picked it up for her because she wasn't into " shopping. "


Then right before the ghosting behavior, we were going to be in our FL condo about a half hour from them. She was excited because we would arrive the next week and while the guys would play golf, she would have a buddy to go to the outlets.  It never happened: no call / no message / no explanation.  DH kept asking me what happened and found it hard to believe.

 

The husbands were professionals in the same field in the same town.  They played golf together.  He developed a serious heart problem and then was on dialysis.  Long story short, he passed.  Most folks still don't know.  No services, no memorial, no obituary.  Her choice....he was always protective of her behavior from what I had observed.

 

As I look back, I am happy I was ghosted because it has saved me a lot of time and energy:  I never realized how much she complained and subtly demanded of everybody.

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Sir Winston Churchill
Valued Contributor
Posts: 935
Registered: ‎07-02-2014

Re: It's Halloween! Have you ever been "ghosted?"

Yes, I was ghosted by a coworker, who I also considered as a very close friend. We had worked closely together for 15 years. We knew each other's families and even her grandchildren. After I retired she never called me again. I continued to call her and we had many nice chats or so I thought. But I  soon realized that she never called me despite her saying I will call you soon. After trying to continue this friendship for about a year I gave up calling her and she has not contacted me since. This was a surprising and painful ghosting.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,433
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: It's Halloween! Have you ever been "ghosted?"

A divorce will also cause ghosting. Uncomfortableness and their own marriage issues may be a reason. Like death of a spouse not a couple any more. My ex's family did that to me but hung their heads and avoided me barely saying hello in a store. I just chalked that up to embarrassment and shame as he had the affair and moved out. I willingly  raised his two daughters full time.

 

I quit dating as got tired of it. One man no call no show three times. We got along well but sadly his interests were only physical.  I told him he was rude and inexcusable with today's text and phones. 

 

Most recently  this year a male platonic friend  who moved to Fla. He would stop by to visit and I had him over for dinner alot or gave him dishes I prepared as didnt cook much. He helped me with some things like cutting down trees. I took him in for knee surgury and helped him recover. Out of Site Out of Mind. Hurt me to lose a friend. He has a whole new set of friends and drinking and after sobriety and treatment ,another factor.

 

Sometimes people's circumstances, interests,  circle of friends, health, physical and mental,employment, distance, situations change. As I have aged  ghosting happens more and more and I find myself alone more and more. Retired, out of the working loop.