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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,837
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying


@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

@Pook wrote:

Taking your hat off to eat means nothing - it's how you live your life and treat others!!!

Another thought - there are many who use so called manners of the past to fool older people into thinking they are so wonderful...but...  - like Eddie Haskel was!


So if I go into a restaurant or any facility and have good manners because I was brought up that way, it means I am fooling people into thinking I am wonderful?  I think not, it means exactly what it is, I was raised right and have respect for myself and others around me.


You might be but I don't know you so I can't say.  Those that think wearing a hat and not removing it is bad manners in this day and age are living in the past and that is placing too much importance on old fashioned "rules" dictating what manners are.  Bad manners to me would be flinging food, wiping your hands on your clothing, wiping your nose with your fingers, talking with your mouth full and spraying food around because of it, talking down to the wait staff and finding fault with everything, talking loudly on your cell phone, etc.  In other words something that negatively affects others around them - not just because someone is wearing  a hat to eat.

 

@CARMIE posted:  men and women who have cancer or other medical issues are permitted to wear a hat anywhere, anytime. The following applies to all others.
Then proceeded to post "rules" for hat removal.   Well do they have to prove it so they won't be branded as having bad manners?  

Valued Contributor
Posts: 917
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying


@Retired Legal Secretary wrote:

This weekend we went to dinner at a very nice restaurant. I can't tell you how many men/boys I saw that did not remove  their darn hats while eating.

 

I realize we are a casual society and I'm not saying they have to remove hats to walk around a mall and such, but some places, tableclothes and cloth napkins warrant removing your hat.  And yes I'm old fashioned in that respect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



@Retired Legal Secretary wrote:

This weekend we went to dinner at a very nice restaurant. I can't tell you how many men/boys I saw that did not remove  their darn hats while eating.

 

I realize we are a casual society and I'm not saying they have to remove hats to walk around a mall and such, but some places, tableclothes and cloth napkins warrant removing your hat.  And yes I'm old fashioned in that respect.

 

I agree because that meant so much to my father.Heart

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,575
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying

I miss two broad categories- first, a simple sense of general kindness and respect for others, and second-

 

the sense that no, I am NOT the absolute ultimate center of the universe, nor am I entitled to put myself first before EVERYONE walking the face of the earth, except perhaps in my own imagination.........

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,172
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying

[ Edited ]

May I ask ...Has anyone here ever sat down to a meal out and talked with their mouth open while eating?  I was taught not to do that but, on an occasion or two, I'm sure I have. Do you still fold your napkin after eating.  I do, but if the person with me doesn't....well, that's their privilege. Certain people feel that certain traditions are meant to be broken and who I am to tell them otherwise.   

 

I live in a rural farm community.  All sorts of people, farmers included..... as well as construction workers eat out.  We eat at a lovely restaurant several times a week.  There are hotels and building construction going on.  Many workers come in with their hats on and I would rather look at their hats than dirty greasy hair!  There are times when it's ok to break with some traditions and still be considered a "well mannered person", imo.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,320
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying


@sharke wrote:

@Nightowlz wrote:

We have some new neighbors renting a house across the street. 

I'm pretty sure they are Mennonite. I think they are using the house for home schooling.

Kids come & go like it's Grand Central Station.

At times they make the girls stand out front in the freezing cold while the boys go in first. The boys come back out with their school notebooks & girls go in the house.

They don't make very good neighbors.


Count your blessings my area has a guy who sits and revs and backfires his sports car first, then, goes to his truck and revs that engine till it backfires and sputters.

I called the law on him. Now, he goes in back yard and the poor people in his back yard has the pleasure of listening to him.


We have a guy who sits in his driveway (across the street) and revs his motorcycle. Over and over and over. But wait. Then he takes off with a noise you wouldn't believe. About four minutes later he returns and the whole thing begins again. I keep thinking, where does he go that he comes right back? At the first hint of warm weather, it starts. I haven't seen him (one of God's blessings) but I'll bet he has on a muscle shirt and his hat on backwards with no helmet. It's usually dark when he starts his little tirade and I'm reading-I'll bet I read the same sentence over and over 3X while he's revving. I hate a/c and all the windows are open. I'm thinking that's why other people on the street aren't complaining-they only hear muffled sounds. Oh, well, there are worse things. Just like the ants, he's due soon. 

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Posts: 1,615
Registered: ‎02-16-2018

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying

[ Edited ]

@RoughDraft wrote:

Funny, I was raised in a religion that hats were required to be worn by women in church, but men were forbidden to.  Now that's all been done away with.

 

We do live in a much more casual world today and as long as a person is clean, neat and polite in a social situation, I don't give a hoot what they wear.

 

Now if someone comes out in public wearing pants on their heads, I might give it an extra look.


@RoughDraft Yes, society has become casual when it comes to attire. Maybe that’s why I see so many people out shopping in their PJs.😬 I think that’s just ignorance unless they are disabled in some way. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,108
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying


@Pook wrote:

I am 66 and like the more casual way things are now.  Whether someone is wearing a hat to eat is no concern of mine and does not have any effect on my life.  AT one time there were hat check areas in good restaurants where coats and hats could be left.  Men also used to wear suits to ballgames and women wore good dresses! Now that was utterly ridiculous!  It's who the person is and how they treat others that matters to me and not what they are wearing.


 

I agree.

 

Unless someone takes off their shoes & puts their dirty feet over the seat on a plane or I'm subjected to something similar, I really don't care what other people wear or don't wear. 

 

I'm "old-school" in a lot of ways, but I just don't see why it matters if a man I don't know wears or doesn't wear a hat.  I probably wouldn't even notice.  And in no way would it infringe on my enjoyment of the company of the people I was with or the enjoyment of my meal. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 559
Registered: ‎07-18-2015

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying

" The Times they are a-changing" Bob Dylan

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,108
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying


@CARMIE wrote:

My husband and my sons always remove their hats before coming to the table.   No way would they get a bite to eat if they didn't.

 

I taught my kids manners.  They know them well. My children are adults now, but people who have met my adult kids still tell me how polite they are. Same goes for my grands.

 

I don't care how casual society is now, I know that my kids won't embarrass themselves in anyone's company because they were not taught proper manners.

 

When I grew up, if you did not use manners at the table, you were banished from the kitchen. My parents said humans should not eat like barnyard animals.

 

Being casual does not excuse bad manners.

 

Oh,  and don't get me startedon men wearing tank tops in nice sit down restaurants...

gross!!  I have seen men throw a fit when they were not allowed to enter a resturant in a tank top, especially in resort areas.


 

My sons, my brothers, and my nephews all remove their hats before sitting down to a meal.   I was raised by very strict parents, and you'd better believe our manners had to be perfect!  Even my friends who were not raised so strictly remove their hats.  It's a habit ingrained in pretty much every male I know, including the younger ones.  I married into a British family, with a very proper MIL & FIL, so that really upped the "polite and proper" game.

 

But it doesn't bother me if someone in a restaurant doesn't remove his hat.  I have little tolerance for rudeness, but what a total stranger across the room has or doesn't have on his head is just not a big deal to me.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,108
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: It's A Small Thing But So Annoying


@Tiki Mommy wrote:

To the Original Poster:

 

I agree with you 150%.  Since when did it become acceptable to be a filthy slob in a nice restaurant?  Men/boys should NOT wear hats indoors.  One exception - if they want to wear the baseball caps in a restaurant, save it for McDonalds.  I am disgusted with the disrespectful, "it's all about me" attitudes in this country. 


 

That's quite a leap you're taking - from wearing a hat to filthy slob!  

 

It's a hat on a head.  And what someone wears on their head doesn't infringe on any of your rights.  You're entitled to not like it.  And they're entitled to wear hats if they want.  Restaurant staff will let them know if it's not allowed.   There's nothing "all about me" about it.