Community Chat

[Bestdressed]

On 3/18/2015 Ilikeshade said:

Thanks for your comments everyone. I think I'm going to have myself a good cry now.

Will be back tomorrow.

Ilikeshade... I am sorry you are having a hard time with your stepmother. My father had meal on wheels when he lived alone at home. He did not want it either. But he was a diabetic and not taking proper care of himself. In my area there are requirements. Catholic charities came out and did an evaluation. They did a few tests and asked questions about about his living conditions. He did meet the requirements because he lost his drivers license and did not drive.

He barked, and fought all the changes I made as his health challenges increased. I would set up the appointments and tell him when some new was added for his care. He actually did not mind Meals on Wheels. (The food was just ok...but he did not eat that much anyway.) It is good because they check to make sure the person is ok too. They deliver Mon-Fri only.

You said you are going to the Dr. next month. Call the Dr. and leave a message with his/her nurse telling them what issues you want discussed. I did that when my dad wouldn't use his walker, check his blood sugar regularly etc. He seemed to listen to the Dr. better then he would listen to me.

If your stepmother is getting more defensive, combative, has poor hygiene, stops wanting to eat, forgets to eat, forgets common names etc. These could be signs of dementia. In hindsight, my dad hid some of this and he was probably worse then he appeared to me.

My dad would not leave his house until he fell down and broke his hip. I was over at his house almost everyday and just left his house an hour before he fell down. The medical alert tag was a god send that day. He went to assisted living after that and lived several more months.

I am sorry I am rambling but wanted to let you know you are not alone. Taking care of someone that does not want help is very hard. You need to make some of this decisions for them. If they fight it, at least you know you tried. Best of luck to you...I hope you feel better soon too.

[occasionalrain]

In my area a person has to be considered low income to qualify for Meals on Wheels and are not something anyone would choose to eat unless they were starving. Your MIL is ordering what she wants to eat, so I can't see a problem. At any rate, she doesn't want them so that should be the end of it.

[Lucky Charm]

I delivered for Meals on Wheels for about 7 years until we moved here.

You didn't have to be elderly as I delivered to young people in wheelchairs, amputees, etc.

You didn't have to be poor either as I delivered to millionaires.

You just had to be in a situation where you couldn't cook for yourself.

I know they followed guidelines with dieticians, but I felt the food was awful for the most part and wouldn't be able to eat it.

It was delivered to us, the drivers, in large blue (Igloo) coolers and hot bricks wrapped in tinfoil is what kept the foods hot. The bricks melted into the side of the plastic coolers.

Cold foods were kept cold with large baggies of ice.

I used to complain that someone would get food poisoning, but it fell on deaf ears.

[foundinlv]

On 3/18/2015 cody2 said:

It is my understanding that Found has been taking care of her stepmom's nutritional needs for a while and will continue to do so when she (Found) is feeling better and up to it again. Most of the comments are geared to a long term solution. Is that what you are looking for Found? If so...my reply would be different.

You are right cody. I don't mind that she is currently ordering pizza and sandwiches only that she is complaining that I have not been able to get her what she really wants which is the salads I build for her at Whole Foods plus her cashews and almonds.

eta: her refusal to cut me slack during this time made me think that maybe it's time to change up what I do for her.....but I know in my heart I'll just resume getting her what she wants. Yes, she uses emotional blackmail. "If you don't do this for me just take me to hospice."

[Shorty2U]

My dad (God rest his soul) used to get Meals on Wheels. He complained and complained not to have it, and that is because older folks get set in their ways and don't want to admit they need help.

But he couldn't get around good anymore or cook, and we had them deliver.

Well he ended up eating everything they brought and even started to enjoy them coming by.

Also around the holidays various organizations would donate little extras like candy, or socks, gloves, etc to come with the meals. He would show us what they brought and it all made his days brighter.

[foundinlv]

I'm so exhausted from being sick, I have to go now again.

[qvcaddition]

You pay for your food with meals on wheels. It,s the same food they serve at the Senior Center. It is also a program for shut ins or the sick that can,t get out. A Senior friend got out every day, then got sick and had Meal on Wheels. She is now back to cooking for herself or going to the Senior Center for lunch. It,s not expensive, but you do pay a small fee and you get just one meal a day.

[guatmum]

Of course there's a stigma to receiving any kind of social aid. Look at this board. There are sadly so many posts that rant on about people feeling "entitled" and the opinion that people need to plan intelligently for ALL possibilities or deal with the consequences themselves. The attitude that the state of one's life is 100% one's own responsibility, good or bad, is rampant on this board and this board is a mirror of society. Knowing this, how would anyone feel comfortable taking any help or services that are publicly paid for. I feel it's truly sad but I think what is happening to your stepmother is just the tip of the iceberg. Unfortunately, this every-man-for-himself society is leaving lots of casualties.

[route 7]

I worked for Meals on Wheels after I retired from my full time job. Prepared the food: everyday you get bread&butter, soup, entrée, beverage, and dessert. You could request a special diet. A very good thing is it checks up on people. The volunteers would get to know the people and would report if they didn't answer the door, etc. No social stigma.

[Group 5 minus 1]

Years ago when I was a member of Jr. League and did deliver MoWs. I enjoyed it. People were happy to see me and pleasant. One year I was assigned to deliver on Christmas Eve day and brought my young son ( he was about 8) with me. The people I delivered to really enjoyed seeing a young fellow and had candy for him. I think MoW benefits both the delivererer and receiver.