Community Chat

[NoelSeven]

On 3/18/2015 FUTURE said:

On 3/18/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 3/18/2015 Ilikeshade said:

On 3/18/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 3/18/2015 Ilikeshade said:

On 3/18/2015 NoelSeven said:

IMO it's a little harsh to give an elderly sick person an ultimatum: do this, or else.

It usually doesn't work. Elderly people will sometimes starve themselves, often because the state they are in doesn't allow them what's needed to find out who will help them, much less call and get that help.

Exactly. She doesn't do well with ultimatums. I have always been very careful with the language I use yet she still responded with, "just take me to hospice."

Take her to social services. Better still, call them to make a home evaluation. It's what we pay taxes for.

I'll have to speak to her about it first and she won't like it. In another month I'll be taking her to her yearly physical. She likes her doctor and always chats away like everything is fabulous.

There comes a time when we may have to switch places with a parent figure. We can't wait until they starve themselves or simply become incapable of taking care of themselves.

It may be time to step up to the plate and make sure she doesn't hurt herself.

ITS, Noel. I've had to have this conversation with many a pts family members. At some point, the main concern can't be what the elder wants. It what is safest for them, in the best scenario possible, for all parties involved. Ilikeshade, I'm not saying you aren't doing that, so please don't take it that way. I'm just throwing in my two cents with this part of the convo.

I agree with you, FUTURE

[CharleyHorse]

Found, I am so sorry you are under such stress, especially when you are sick. I'm sorry to have no words of wisdom to offer, but I wanted to say that your stepmom is very lucky to have you. You have always taken good care of her. I can only offer prayers for you both and hope you can get her to accept some help. I wish the best for you all. CH

[ivey]

My in laws got Meals on Wheels for several years. Where they lived, I don't think there was much question regarding why people needed it. They simply couldn't fix a meal very well. I think they paid a little bit for their food but they could afford it.

From what I observed, it was a generous serving of things older people would like--meat, corn, potatoes, roll, and a cookie or some kind of sweet. Many times, they split the meal and had the extra for supper. They also loved the couple who delivered it--they would stay about 5 min. and visit with them. It broke up the day.

[kdgn]

On 3/18/2015 Ilikeshade said:

I saw one of her neighbors get a delivery by Meals on Wheels and it looked very dignified with a clean truck with refrigerated compartments. The driver pulled a bag out of one of them and walked to their door. When I told her that she bristled. She also said "there's a shortage and not everyone gets it when you apply." Whatever that means.

That means there are more who have requested the program than slots available.

I'm only familiar with the local program here and I know there are seniors on waiting lists because there isn't the funding to feed them all. We have well over ten trucks, similar to the one you saw, delivering meals on routes.

I also know the meals are the same as the ones served at the Senior Center-that's where the kitchen is and where the meals for delivery are packed and loaded. I used to eat there when I volunteered and the food was quite good!

Another "job" of the driver is to do a fast check on the person receiving lunch. It's more of a "Hi, how are you?" thing but the drivers know their clients and will call it in if they think something is amiss. We were instructed to call ahead if Mom wasn't going to be home to accept the lunch--the driver would investigate and call it in if no one answered the door.

The drivers, while being paid, were saints!

[Susan Louise]

Hi Likeshade,

Sorry to hear your step mother feels that way. My step mother dedicated 20 yrs of her life delivering those meals on wheels...gave her heart along the way making friends with all of the folks who needed her help along the way...

Her days never seemed complete until she did her deliveries each day. She passed away in 2003...

[Lila Belle]

[september]

Where we live, the food is said to be of excellent quality...I know people who've been drivers, and the SPCA partners with MOW, and donates pet foods to the recipients who have cats or dogs.

And yes, they also do a quick "is everything ok?" check when dropping off the food.

If and when I need something like this, I'll be happy to accept it.

[cody2]

It is my understanding that Found has been taking care of her stepmom's nutritional needs for a while and will continue to do so when she (Found) is feeling better and up to it again. Most of the comments are geared to a long term solution. Is that what you are looking for Found? If so...my reply would be different.

[kdgn]

Cody, if Found is looking for a short-term solution while she's ill, I'm afraid she's going to be tough out of luck because of the waiting list. Some folks have meals delivered short term while recovering from surgery (hip or knee replacement) but that's arranged long in advance.

Funding has been cut to the Meals on Wheels programs in much of the country. Is this a plea for donations?

Yes, it is.

[cody2]

On 3/18/2015 kdgn said:

Cody, if Found is looking for a short-term solution while she's ill, I'm afraid she's going to be tough out of luck because of the waiting list. Some folks have meals delivered short term while recovering from surgery (hip or knee replacement) but that's arranged long in advance.

Funding has been cut to the Meals on Wheels programs in much of the country. Is this a plea for donations?

Yes, it is.

kdgn, my reply to let her mom order pizza was based on what I thought was short term. I also felt from what Found said that mom was trying to guilt her.

Long term? My reply would be much different. And yes, Meals on Wheels is a very worthy cause. One of the best.