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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,270
Registered: ‎04-20-2012

Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

My stepmother is very adamant that she doesn't want it; she says it's for other people, not her. This has been challenging as I have been sick for 2 wks and unable to go over there. She's been calling for pizza's and sandwiches and other things on the menu for delivery. She refuses to cook for herself. Her neighbor offered to bring her food but she said no. She mailed a letter yesterday using her walker and told me it was very difficult to get back up her driveway.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,468
Registered: ‎03-22-2010

Re: Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

She sounds like a proud lady; my guess is she is having a difficult time admitting to herself she needs help and is losing her independence; is that possible?

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 3,697
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

If she's capable of cooking for herself, she doesn't need meals on wheels. While I've never heard of it being viewed as a social stigma, I guess some people would view it as "charity".

It's always a victory for me when I remember why I entered a room.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,324
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

Nice that there are such good programs and services for seniors.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,270
Registered: ‎04-20-2012

Re: Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

I think she's selfish. She'd rather have me drive over 10 mi to all her favorite stores than cook for herself. I am still sick. I can't sleep at night because of a cough that I can't get rid of. During the day I nod off......I have no intention of getting behind the wheel of a car but she just doesn't get it.

Yes, she can cook but refuses. When my dad was alive they went to buffets everyday. That was their lifestyle for years.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,328
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

I think the the older generation does feel stigmatized by asking for public help. It is the way they were raised. She probably feels that depending on family to attend that need is more acceptable as that is the way in was done in her day.

On the other hand, you don't have to feel quilted when you are not able to provide for her due to your own health issues. So let her order pizza or whatever. I doubt if you are going to change her.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 927
Registered: ‎05-26-2011

Re: Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

Like anything that is used by the aging, some people just don't want to feel they need this kind of help. It is embarrassing to them. I think this is very understandable especially if the person was very independent during their life.

I think meals on wheels is great for people who don't or can't drive. I heard the food was good too. They make sure people get a hot meal each day and they leave a sandwich for the nighttime. Wonderful program for shut ins. I tried to get it temporarily for someone who was sick, but they still had a car so they did not qualify.

The best of luck trying to convince your stepmother to take advantage of this good program.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,953
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

Are you her only relative? No biological children or siblings?

The issue seems to be that she can no longer care for herself. It might be time to look into a home for seniors who are in need of assistance.

I'd worry about her being alone and falling or getting into some other dangerous situation and not being able to help herself.

A Thrill Of Hope The Weary World Rejoices
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

I thought Meals on Wheels are for people who can't cook, not that don't want to cook.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,953
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Is there a social stigma in getting meals on wheels?

On 3/18/2015 TaxyLady said:

Like anything that is used by the aging, some people just don't want to feel they need this kind of help. It is embarrassing to them. I think this is very understandable especially if the person was very independent during their life.

I think meals on wheels is great for people who don't or can't drive. I heard the food was good too. They make sure people get a hot meal each day and they leave a sandwich for the nighttime. Wonderful program for shut ins. I tried to get it temporarily for someone who was sick, but they still had a car so they did not qualify.

The best of luck trying to convince your stepmother to take advantage of this good program.

It's certainly not about driving here. We had a neighbor who used Meals On Wheels so she could have a healthy, cooked meal several times a week. She could drive if necessary, and had a car. She just didn't have the energy to shop and cook.

A Thrill Of Hope The Weary World Rejoices