Is it approppiate? - Page 3

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

Often obituaries will have listed the deceased's favorite charity. It would be better to make a donation in their name and the charity will send the family a card. Sometimes along with the donation, we'll also send flowers. We also make a donation to the local animal shelter when a friend's pet dies.

ValuSkr · ‎03-15-2014

If you, an outsider to the family, were specifically invited, then you should go. The wind chimes are very nice, but your presence will be gift enough.

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

I like your gift idea a lot but definitely take it to them or mail.

Knit-Chick · ‎04-12-2010

I agree with others that it is best to either mail or give the gift outside of the service. Around here there is typically a box provided for sympathy cards and monetary gifts, but there usually isn't a good place for gifts.

Also wanted to add that when my mom passed away a few years ago, my coworkers gave me a windchime. Her obiturary listed a hospice for donations, but it was nice to get something like the windchime in remembrance of her. It's a very thoughtful gift and I'm sure the family will appreciate it.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

If I didn't know the family and I knew that I would be the only non family member at the family, I would not go. I would not intrude on the family. But, if you go don't take a gift. It's not a party. Take sympathy card, add a personal note. If you are going to the repast, you can take a food item although that isn't necessary. When my mom died, too many people brought food and left us with the task of figuring out what to do with it all.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@Istru wrote:
Forgot to mention. I was specifically invited by the family.

The family you said you don't know?

Love my grandkids · ‎11-24-2013

@chrystaltree The OP is NOT "intruding". She was specifically invited.

@Istru I've never heard of taking a gift to a funeral and I personally can't stand wind chimes. But I would send it to them and not take it. It just sounds odd to me but I've never heard of or seen a gift being taken to a funeral.

Sage04 · ‎07-10-2011

@chrystaltree wrote:
@Istru wrote:
Forgot to mention. I was specifically invited by the family.
The family you said you don't know?

@chrystaltree she Posted that she has never met the REST of the family.

KBEANS · ‎06-08-2020

I received an expression of comfort and love at the funeral of a close family member. In that moment, I was touched and lifted by the person who presented me with the gift! For a brief moment, the gift gave me something else to think about and I truly appreciated the sentiment. I did not forget it at the funeral parlor and I remember that moment to this day! @Istru I don't find it inappropriate or strange but as a personal touch from a friend! ♥️

skatting44 · ‎07-26-2019

If you know the family well , than it could be appropriate. Often families are given plants as gifts , some of which are the type that can be planted in the ground to bloom the following years as a memory to the deceased person . I received a perennial plant , hydrangea with a silver plant identifier marker that could be engraved . I planted the flower and when it reblooms each yr , I think of my deceased family member . So, yes I could see that wind chimes could be seen as an appropriate gift , If you know the person pretty well and you write a note in the card with a reason for the gift , otherwise it may misinterpreted .