Community Chat

[Bandwife23]

So happy that I just happened to be scrolling through the posts and saw this. My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones and don't really want to deal with the holidays. 

I used to look forward to the holidays, but not this year. Things will be very difficult for me & hubby bc my parents are gone. I lost my mom on 11/30/16 and daddy died 6/2/17. I also lost a best friend of 20 years between mom & dad passing. She passed on 4/11/17. So, I've had a rough few months. I'm an only child, so I've had to take care of things for my parents while trying to grieve over them being gone.

I've tried to be strong and keep a smile on my face, but I must admit that I was SO glad to leave work yesterday. I didn't mean any harm towards anyone else, but I just got so tired of hearing people talk about cooking, family coming in and what all they were going to do. It was just overwhelmingly sad because I'd give anything to be able to sit at the table with mom and dad. All of our holidays centered around them. My best friend & I would also get together sometime during the holiday weekend to catch up on what the other had been doing. We never missed a year of doing that in all the time we'd known eachother. 

So, hubby and I are going to go out to eat early, then come back home & have a quiet day. I don't really want to see or talk to anyone. Holidays just aren't the same anymore. Friends have told me that things will get easier, but the pain & sadness I feel is so strong that I have a hard time believing that.  

[Rockycoast]

I can't think of any holiday that I don't like. I love all the traditions and food and family gatherings.  Love seeing family that we don't get to see all that often, getting caught up on what is happening with every one. The younger ones are starting to take over some of the traditional baking. My mom is 90 years old and making the Mincemeat tarts was getting a bit much for her. My 24 year old daughter has taken over that job with coaching from me and grandma. She will be doing it on her own in no time! There are always card games and sports and loudness, just fun all around. Because that is what celebrating the holidays is for me and my family. It is family and being together. Yes, many family members have passed, and we have great memories of them and laugh and reminisce, but that does not mean we don't carry on and enjoy the people that are still with us and pass on traditions to the younger members. Love Thanksgiving and Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day....

[tarsmom]

Glad you posted this - I work with a huge group of young people and of course they're all getting together with their families - seasons change, our lives change, and the holidays change.  Tomorrow we're (hubby/I) are having steak, potatoes and garlic bread and cherry pie.  Our work had a huge Tgiving dinner today so I had my fill.  Our son lives out of state and is not married.  The best thing to do is not think too much about the past and just be glad we're still here!  And it's hard on me, too my parents are gone and I only have one sibling and he lives in Florida.  It's tough getting older, and I truly underestimated how that would look, especially on holidays. 

[Yardlie]

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@chrystaltree wrote:

Honestly, I don't know how a person can not like Thanksgiving.  But, whatever.  If your non-celebration of Thanksgiving works for you, that's all that matters.  Why do you think that Thanksgiving requires that people over eat ????   That's just sitcom stuff.  That's not real life.  It's sad that you never made more of an effort for your kids and now for your grandkids.  

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What makes you think that people who aren't into Thanksgiving hoopla never made an effort for their kids and grandkids? You are presuming a lot. People only overeat on Thanksgiving on tv?  Oh, come on!

People can celebrate Thanksgiving in various ways. Just because people aren't into the hoopla does not mean they do not celebrate Thanksgiving. Some people celebrate Thanksgiving by going to church and counting their blessings. Other people do not even think of the real reason for Thanksgiving and just dive into the food. Personally, we go to church and have a great meal.

Take Christmas for example...a Pew Research study found that 81% of non-Christians celebrate it as a secular or American holiday rather than for the real meaning of it. To each his own. That's the great thing about living in a democratic society...the freedom to think and choose as we want.