Community Chat

[CalminHeart]

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@gertrudecloset wrote:

Most people would agree that healthy relationships (of any kind) are built on trust.  

If someone withheld information from you that could possibly change your perception of them aren't they lying to you?  

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Most of the time, yes, I consider it lying. But a lot depends on what it is. 

[Imaoldhippie]

The answer to this question is it depends on the situation and one would only know by being there.

IMO there is no right or wrong for this question.

[Pecky]

After getting all of the facts yes this would be a lie.  She must of said something along the way about this being his third child and he said nothing.  A friend of mine married for the second time and thought that this was her husband's second marriage but found out through his mother he was married twice and the second marriage only lasted a year.  My friend was upset thinking what else is he not telling her.

[Lipstickdiva]

Yes.  Always.  A lie by omission is still a lie.  Whether someone finds it acceptable or not is a different question.  The straight answer is, it's a lie.

[Drythe]

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@gertrudecloset wrote:

No it's not a survey @Drythe .  I guess you would have liked some "back story?"

I'll consider adding some.  I'm really asking for romantic/marriage relationship purposes that have nothing to do with me, but a relative I tried telling this to for many years.

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@gertrudecloset 

Nope, no “backstory” necessary.

[WenGirl42]

Is withholding information ever a lie?  Yes.

Do I think the specifics of this situation make withholding that information a lie? ...Also yes

[software]

I've known people who pride themselves on never telling a lie, which is a good thing.

But they are often guilty of withholding important information.

When challenged they say " I would have told you but you never asked"

That's a cop out.  And a lie by omission.

[bonnielu]

I will skirt the truth if will hurt someone.  "how do I look"  just one example and I know you all can think of many more.  

I will not reveal what will destroy someone.  

[suzyQ3]

The problem is the use of the word "lie." There is no lying going on here. There is withholding information. That is his choice. And it's yours to disagree.

[reiki604]

@gertrudecloset  Does he pay child support for all his children? I believe the current girlfriend should know about all the kids, but it's not your role to tell her. I'd distance myself as far away from this guy as possible.