Is Withholding Information ever a Lie? - Page 10

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

It depends what isn't being said & the relationship you have with the person you're keeping the information from.

If it's a casual friend no.If it's someone you're becoming emotionally involved with yes.

CrazyKittyLvr2 · ‎05-11-2013

I don't think it is black and white.

If a person omits info that they robbed a bank when younger, yes, that's bad and should not be withheld.

However, if they pilfered a candy bar at 6yrs. old and Mom made them take it back, I don't view that as an intentional lie.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@suzyQ3 wrote:
The problem is the use of the word "lie." There is no lying going on here. There is withholding information. That is his choice. And it's yours to disagree.

@suzyQ3 @Lipstickdiva

There is also a problem with the word "withhold". Not every omission is hiding something .... sometimes it's just choosing not to share some information.

It's entirely possible that there is confusion within this couple about where the relationship is going. SHE may think it has potential to be long term and committed. HE may think this is just casual dating and won't go anywhere except casual dating, for now. Or vice versa. Or some other thing.

Nonametoday · ‎03-09-2010

@gertrudecloset wrote:
@Nonametoday wrote:
@gertrudecloset wrote:
Most people would agree that healthy relationships (of any kind) are built on trust.

If someone withheld information from you that could possibly change your perception of them aren't they lying to you?
@gertrudecloset

If you have to ask, you know the truth: You know in a romantic/long-term life relationship, one should not withhold the truth. I think you are wanting someone to justify someone withholding information as being either alright or not but withholding information can destroy a relationship on down the line.
@Nonametoday Of course, I know it ruins relationships. I've stated that much throughout (did you read my opener). What I wanted was others' opinions on how
I view this relative's behavior, as "he doesn't seem to think he's done anything wrong by him not telling her." So what are you talking about?

@gertrudecloset

If you are going to pose hypotheticals of which you already know the answer, why do you expect a response that disagrees with what you think. Color me confused.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@skatting44 wrote:
Whoops, I forgot to tell my husband abt my 3rd grade math test score ..

@skatting44

Oh wow .... such a liar! How do you ever manage to live with the guilt?

KaySD · ‎08-16-2016

Is it lying to refrain from telling one's boss what one really thinks of the way s/he does the job? Or telling a teenage child s/he looks horrigying in braces? Or giving any kind of advice when you haven't been asked? Probably not.

If your prospective life partner fails to mention s/he has children, that is probably not going to wear well in the long run, whether you call it a lie or not. But in many cases, I think we may be more likely to regret what we do say than what we don't say.

Trust isn't a single, monolithic thing. I may trust my roommate not to steal from me, but not to drop everything when I want them for something. I may trust a friend to answer frankly when I ask if they like my new sweater, but not trust them to drive my car safely. I need to trust my co-workers to support my team. I don't need to trust them to take care of my dog.

So, cheers for a good question, and good to think about, as long as I don't forget there is not a single right or wrong answer for every person and situation.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@suzyQ3 wrote:
The problem is the use of the word "lie." There is no lying going on here. There is withholding information. That is his choice. And it's yours to disagree.

@suzyQ3 @Lipstickdiva

There is also a problem with the word "withhold". Not every omission is hiding something .... sometimes it's just choosing not to share some information.

It's entirely possible that there is confusion within this couple about where the relationship is going. SHE may think it has potential to be long term and committed. HE may think this is just casual dating and won't go anywhere except casual dating, for now. Or vice versa. Or some other thing.

@Tinkrbl44, good point about my use of the word "withholding."

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

NYCLatinaMe · ‎01-14-2017

Withholding information is a lie when you have a duty to tell the truth. Otherwise no. So it depends on the situation, who you are speaking with IMO.

pitdakota · ‎03-16-2010

@gertrudecloset, have to say that in this case I would agree it is wrong of him to not tell his current girlfriend about his other children. She is now pregnant and that child will have other brothers/sisters. Not to mention she has a right to know his financial obligations for his other dependents since that could impact their relationship as well.

And I totally agree with @Tinkrbl44 that withholding information can certainly be a decision not to share information with someone else that really doesn't have any business knowing that information. I would not consider that a lie at all.

* Freedom has a taste the protected will never know *

skatting44 · ‎07-26-2019

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@skatting44 wrote:
Whoops, I forgot to tell my husband abt my 3rd grade math test score ..

@skatting44

Oh wow .... such a liar! How do you ever manage to live with the guilt?