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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,051
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?

[ Edited ]
Been struggling for two and a half years to keep mommy in her own home but recently had no choice.  She's now in a facility, hating it and breaking my heart day in and day out.  My sibs and I visit daily, alternating, but I find myself here almost daily.  Called over tonight cause mommy is asking for daddy, who died 30 years ago. Can I tell you about heartbreak?

 

Ma was never been into makeup or primping.  BUT hair color and perms were MANDATORY in her world.  As a teen, I told her the tight perms were NOT flattering, and she was APPALLED at my lack of taste!  Lol.

 

Anyway, even today, in the midst of pain, confusion, fear and loneliness, ma takes advantage of the on-site salon.  A soothing shampoo, trim, and color make her SO happy. 

 

I'm thankful for those little moments of relief and joy, you know?  Take care, everybody!  xxox

 

Been there with my Mom, and, it was difficult.  There are many stories of caretakers and how they become at risk in taking over the responsibility for elderly parents. Be at ease that she is in a safe place. However, your story of your Mom's hair made me smile becasue that is exactly how my Mom was about hers.  Too funny.


 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 618
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?


@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

IMO, not all grays are created equal, and many factors contribute to the decision.  How does your gray shade look with your skin tone?  Do you have an excessive amount of wrinkles?  What haircut style do you have?   How does your work life influence your decision?  Can you afford the maintenance?   

 

Frankly, I think the age "number" has very little to do with this decision.


Very true - and one other thing to consider - not all grey hair grows in coarse and wiry!  At 65, I have plenty of grey, but it's just as slippery-slithery-silky fine as it's always been.  So, in my case, hair coloring helps to make it a bit more manageable.

"Behold! We are not bound forever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory." J.R.R. Tolkien
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Posts: 694
Registered: ‎03-17-2010

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?

Well, Good morning all;   guess I'm late to this party! I have three points to share: I've been having my hair colored since I saw my first gray at age thirry-five. I have had it lightened up through the years, am now 59, and will always have it colored. My bf has white hair and a (horrors!) deep tan and she looks spectacular. My beautiful mother is eighty, has never dyed her hair, and it is a gorgeous silver. She makes sure to have it styled just so and always wears makeup. We are pretty cute for our ages, lol! To each her own!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,173
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?


@Sawn wrote:

Well, Good morning all;   guess I'm late to this party! I have three points to share: I've been having my hair colored since I saw my first gray at age thirry-five. I have had it lightened up through the years, am now 59, and will always have it colored. My bf has white hair and a (horrors!) deep tan and she looks spectacular. My beautiful mother is eighty, has never dyed her hair, and it is a gorgeous silver. She makes sure to have it styled just so and always wears makeup. We are pretty cute for our ages, lol! To each her own!


@Sawn Very nice post. I agree to each her own. 

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Posts: 432
Registered: ‎11-30-2014

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?


@Cakers3 wrote:

@jubilant wrote:

@Cakers3 wrote:

I know I'll be kicked for this but my "gray" is a shiny silver and I've received compliments for the color.  Not all of my hair is silver all over some natural color still remains but I've become content with it.  I've done the high/low highlights to blend a bit and it looked nice but I can't justify the expense anymore.

 

So yes, I may be bragging a bit but I'm content with my choice; those who do not want gray can do as they please.

**********  You're not bragging, Cakers, just telling the truth.  I am glad you mentioned the expense.  I am getting to the point where I want that money to go elsewhere.  Some of these prices I just can't justify.


 

Thank you - I find it interesting that "gray hair ages you".  LOL  Well, unless one has premature gray/white then - duh.  Most of us start graying in general in certain decades.

 

To color or not to color - a useless pov.  You can dye your hair until you are 100 years old but the fact remains you will still be 100 years old. 

 

Why are some so obsessed with age and hair color? If it makes you feel good, fine.

If you are doing to to pass for "younger" then you have more issues than the color of your hair.


I completely agree with your statement about how expensive it is to color.  Right now, it's not a problem for me, but who knows what the future holds.  I may decide at some point that it's too much bother, too expensive, etc.  I get that.  The upkeep is a pain in the neck.

 

I guess I don't think it's mutually exclusive to say that I believe gray hair is aging and to say that coloring makes me feel good.  Does it make me look younger?  I don't know and I don't really care.  I just like the color I have. 

 

I said in a previous post that my mother stopped coloring when she was a bit younger than I am now (55).  She has lovely gray hair and many people (including me) think she is a lovely lady (who, by the way, does not look anywhere near her 88 years).  I may get to that point, too.  I may decide it's too expensive, takes too much time, and just isn't worth it any more.  The point is, I think, that we should all do what makes us happy. 

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Posts: 117
Registered: ‎01-14-2013

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?

I can't tell you how many debates I had with myself over this very topic before I decided to let my hair go silver/gray. I stopped coloring it about 2 years ago and it is now more silver than gray. I've always had thick hair, so a lot of the underneath hair is still my natural dark brown. I really get a lot of compliments on the color of my hair. However, having said all this, there are still days when I am tempted to color again.

 

So, there is no cookie cutter answer to your question - just go with what you feel is best for you. 

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Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?

[ Edited ]

@Pearlee wrote:

@NYC Susan wrote:

@NYC Susan  I don't understand this whole "should" thing just because someone is older.  We all should just do what we want.

 

Then I will explain it yet one more time, even though it's been posted several times already on this thread, and the "do whatever makes you happy" idea has been posted numerous times.

 

This is one of my posts above -  that's the best explanation I can give. Perhaps you haven't read the entire thread: When hair looks very faike and doesn't "match" up a person's face and age any more then - yes - I think a person "should" either go gray or dye their hair a color that matches their face much better so their hair looks natural.  Yes, "should" and I think in the end they'll be happier.

 

@Pearlee wrote:

@Suziepeach  I agree with you. I have gone lighter as I've aged.  I know a few women whose hair, I think, looks horrible for them because they are older than I am (in their 70s) and although very attractive, their face definitely looks like they are in their 70s and they both have jet black hair that I think looks very fake  - very obviously dyed, not natural. It's just too dark and not only do I think it looks fake, I think it ages them because it doesn't "match up" with their faces.  Funny too because otherwise they are perfectly made up and dressed to the 9s very stylishly. When I see them, I always think their hair ruins their looks.  I'm not saying they should go gray, just not the jet black!

 


I did read the entire thread, and I am allowed to express my opinion even though it's been stated here by others.  You can certainly think what you want, but really - How can you possibly ascertain that a stranger "would be happier" if they did something that YOU think they should do?

 

"Horrible', "not natural", and "their hair ruins their looks" are opinions, not facts.  Two people may look at the same woman and have completely different opinions.  No one should ever feel that they have to change their hair color or anything else about themselves based on the opinion of other people or some antiquated belief that older women have to fit into some kind of stereotype.

 

So yes, I do think each of us should do whatever makes us happy.  If I think I look good and if that makes me feel good, then who is that hurting?  I don't scrutinize other people (men or women) and make judgements re how they look and how they can improve their appearance.  It's not my business!  Just as it's no one's business to decide that  - because I am a certain age - my hair should not be long or blonde or anything else.  

 

 

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Posts: 2,986
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?


NYC Susan wrote



 



 


I did read the entire thread, and I am allowed to express my opinion even though it's been stated here by others.  You can certainly think what you want, but really - How can you possibly ascertain that a stranger "would be happier" if they did something that YOU think they should do?

"Horrible', "not natural", and "their hair ruins their looks" are opinions, not facts.  Two people may look at the same woman and have completely different opinions.  No one should ever feel that they have to change their hair color or anything else about themselves based on the opinion of other people or some antiquated belief that older women have to fit into some kind of stereotype.

So yes, I do think each of us should do whatever makes us happy.  If I think I look good and if that makes me feel good, then who is that hurting?  I don't scrutinize other people (men or women) and make judgements re how they look and how they can improve their appearance.  It's not my business!  Just as it's no one's business to tell me that  - because I am a certain age - my hair should not be long or blonde or anything else.  


Thank you!! 


'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown
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Posts: 115
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?

I think it depends on your skin and eye color.  Some ladies look great.  Others look washed out.  I guess the way to tell is try on a wig.  

 

I have very pale sligtly freckled skin.  I am pretty sure it would wash me out.  Ladies with blue eyes and olive skin look fantastic.

 

Other opinions?

 

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Posts: 35,659
Registered: ‎06-11-2011

Re: Is There An Age After Which Women Should Just Go With Their Gray Hair?


@NYC Susan wrote:

@Pearlee wrote:

@NYC Susan wrote:

@NYC Susan  I don't understand this whole "should" thing just because someone is older.  We all should just do what we want.

 

Then I will explain it yet one more time, even though it's been posted several times already on this thread, and the "do whatever makes you happy" idea has been posted numerous times.

 

This is one of my posts above -  that's the best explanation I can give. Perhaps you haven't read the entire thread: When hair looks very faike and doesn't "match" up a person's face and age any more then - yes - I think a person "should" either go gray or dye their hair a color that matches their face much better so their hair looks natural.  Yes, "should" and I think in the end they'll be happier.

 

@Pearlee wrote:

@Suziepeach  I agree with you. I have gone lighter as I've aged.  I know a few women whose hair, I think, looks horrible for them because they are older than I am (in their 70s) and although very attractive, their face definitely looks like they are in their 70s and they both have jet black hair that I think looks very fake  - very obviously dyed, not natural. It's just too dark and not only do I think it looks fake, I think it ages them because it doesn't "match up" with their faces.  Funny too because otherwise they are perfectly made up and dressed to the 9s very stylishly. When I see them, I always think their hair ruins their looks.  I'm not saying they should go gray, just not the jet black!

 


I did read the entire thread, and I am allowed to express my opinion even though it's been stated here by others.  You can certainly think what you want, but really - How can you possibly ascertain that a stranger "would be happier" if they did something that YOU think they should do?

 

"Horrible', "not natural", and "their hair ruins their looks" are opinions, not facts.  Two people may look at the same woman and have completely different opinions.  No one should ever feel that they have to change their hair color or anything else about themselves based on the opinion of other people or some antiquated belief that older women have to fit into some kind of stereotype.

 

So yes, I do think each of us should do whatever makes us happy.  If I think I look good and if that makes me feel good, then who is that hurting?  I don't scrutinize other people (men or women) and make judgements re how they look and how they can improve their appearance.  It's not my business!  Just as it's no one's business to decide that  - because I am a certain age - my hair should not be long or blonde or anything else.  

 

 


You are entitled to your opinion. But your earlier post states that you "didn't understand".   So I explained it once again.  If you still "don't understand" so be it.