Re: Invite someone to Christmas dinner

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

I plan to invite my sister's ex over my mother's for Christmas. The kids live with him. It's ackward having the kids over without him. It's been a rough five years with my sister's divorce, then her illness. Things are somewhat stable now and there's really no reason he couldn't come. I plan to call this weekend and invite him. He's not a preplanner, so I don't want to call too far inadvance.

This is a very nice thread. Holidays can be a lonely time for many for various reasons.

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

@croemer wrote:
@alicedee wrote:
I was planning on doing Christmas by myself, but plans changed. I am going to Christmas Eve Mass with one of my sisters, and will hang out with her family for a bit. Yesterday my widowed Brother-In-Law called and invited me to join him and my niece and nephew for Christmas dinner. They are trying hard to carry on without my sister, and it will be good to join them.
It will involve a bit of driving but the weather is good with clear roads, so I am happy to venture out.

So in my circumstances, I am the one who is invited to join others in their celebrations. It's a blessing, whether we are the giver or the receiver.

🎄
So sorry for the loss of your sister @alicedee

@croemer Thank you for your kind words. It's been a year and a half....we are still trying to find our new normal without Sis. I'm sure you and most posters have suffered similar losses, and it can take extra gumption to handle the holidays with peace and joy. I'm asking Santa to bring extra gumption for Christmas!

croemer · ‎03-10-2010

I sure have had losses, plus I come from divorce... so I am used to threading the needle when it comes to family gatherings.

Once again I am sorry for your loss, it must be very hard losing a sibling.

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**Careful... I have caps lock and I am not afraid to use it.**

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

@buffieg wrote:
I'll be spending Christmas alone. My daughter and her family live out of state and will be staying home. Believe me, I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me. I'll go to Mass and celebrate in my own way. My reason for posting is to remind everyone how lucky they are to belong to a family. I'm hearing so many people complain about all they have to do, company coming, blah blah blah. We don't always realize what we have until it's gone. Enjoy your holidays and your families. You never know when you'll be the one alone on Christmas. Merry Christmas to all!

I have a friend whose parents died decades ago and thoughout the year he has a lot of parties. For many holidays past he used to have widow/orphan parties for Christmas Eve and Christmas for those with no place to go. He'd invite a lot of friends with no family nearby and the only thing he used to ask is that people RSVP so he'd know how much food to get. There were always a LOT of people show up.

lynnie61 · ‎04-28-2010

Last year a single, only child, co worker lost both of her parents. I offered her to come to my dads Christmas Eve, but she declined. I understand, she did not have prior visits with our family (so I get it). But still nice to ask or be invited. My sister has an elderly neighbor that was a next door neighbor of her MIL. He’s been a staple at every holiday meal for years. He is family now. He has very little family left, and no one in our city. He always adds wonderful stories.

homedecor1 · ‎03-09-2010

When I first moved here there were many people I knew who were alone (widows/widowers) and no longer traveled. I think back and I'd have 18-20 for holiday dinners (both TG and Christmas). Now, most have passed, gone into assisted living or home to family

We were just talking about this tonight as NOW we are alone this year! Our family is all up north and they were "dragging their feet" what their plans were & the few friends we still have here already made their plans. I waited to long to book my flight.

I told him today what do we have planned? He said "nothing" -- well, I got on the phone and made us reservations at a really nice restaurant at the beach.

@gramgrandkids1 very nice gesture you will have a wonderful dinner and they will enjoy themselves!

Merry Christmas

Cats3000 · ‎10-07-2013

@buffieg I feel sorry for your daughter and her family. If they can't come to see you, at least they could make arrangements for you to come and see them. You have (or should have) family. You are part of her family. Without you, she wouldn't have a family of her owhn. You gave birth to your daughter, nurtured her, raised her to be an adult. She has a moral responsiblity to return your efforts, especially since you are alone.

LorelaiGilmore · ‎04-18-2010

I have spent a few Christmases alone, (I lost both of my parents by the age of 38), and as some have stated, I too would be very uncomfortable having dinner with someone else's family (unless I knew them very well). Also, being an "honored guest", sounds like I'd be lavished with attention, actually making me feel more out of place and like I had an obligation to be entertaining. As an introvert, that sounds awful! It is a very nice thought to invite someone, but if you do and they decline, understand and respect their feelings. I applaud you for trying to include those who are alone, but if you are asking them to make yourself feel good, that's not the right motivation.

“…nevertheless, she persisted.”

buffieg · ‎10-12-2019

@Cats3000 My daughter doesn't believe that kids should be away from home for Christmas. How will Santa find them??? LOL Yes, she's nuts but I love her anyway. Someday she'll realize her kids would benefit more by spending time with Grammi than worrying if Santa will find them.

gramgrandkids1 · ‎10-31-2019

@LorelaiGilmore I realize writing a post does not always come across the way it was intended. Growing up I had a very large extended family and holidays at my grandparents farm were a big deal because someone was always bringing an extra person to dinner. Never were they made to feel they had to entertain or have the spotlight on them. They were made to feel we were honored to have them join us and share part of their day with us. This was a time when we had black and white tv, no cell phones. In fact no modern technology as we know it now. We relied on conversation as our form of entertainment. We did not take offense if we invited someone and they declined. The invitation was always left that if they changed their mind they would be welcomed. My grandmother welcomed everyone. My only regret is that this is the first year I am starting this tradition. I totally agree with you that acts of kindness and consideration should be done for the right reason. I understand that there are many people that would like to spend the holidays alone and I respect their choice.