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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,903
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I wouldn't hesitate to text.  It's simple and easy.  Plus, if your friend is trying to dodge anything, it's simple to just not answer the phone.  With a text message, she has the option to pick up the phone and answer you in person with a conversation, or text back that she's not coming and she apologizes for the delay.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,324
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Rather than worry about it, I'd text/email her right now.  Just a quick message saying that if she isn't able to attend, you will move forward with other plans re: your husband's birthday, etc., etc.  And that maybe you will get together at another time in maybe the Fall/Winter.  Be nice.  Good luck!

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

I'd call and ask if they're able to come or not, because if not you'd like to make other plans. You can say it nicely and if you know them well it shouldn't be an issue. 

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

@OfCourse wrote:

"I need to look at my calendar" is an exceedingly rude reply to an invitation, it seems to me.  How long does it take her to do that?  It seems to me she could do that immediately rather than leaving it hanging.  I'd just go ahead and make other plans and then if she replies late just say you thought she couldn't make it and so made other plans.  Hopefully she wouldn't show up at your house unexpectedly.


It's not just her it's also her husband. I don't think it's surprising she'd need to consult with him regarding the plans before RSVPing. 

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,234
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

@Tinkrbl44, I could not have said it better than you did.  Excuse me for preaching what some may consider old school etiquette, but I would never invite anyone to my home via text to begin with. To me text is ok for casual arrangements such as where I will be standing outside a stadium, or what store we're meeting at.

 

Off the soapbox, looking at both sides, it's possible the response slipped the friend's mind.   @Sheilaray, I would definitely call the friend.  If she doesn't answer the phone or you have to leave a voice mail, the ball in her court.  If still no response -- forget the idea and move on.  I would not want a person in my home who couldn't give me two minutes on the phone. Woman Frustrated

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,324
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

'Now-a-days' many people only text.  Many won't even answer actual phone calls.   (I don't text at all, btw.)    Folks are always in a hurry and just don't have the time or desire to spend any amount of time chatting on their phones.   Quick texts without long explanations are the norm,  It seems to me, anyway.   I'm still thinking that a simple text with a simple question will work just as well as trying to have a conversation via telephone/cell phone/whatever.  Jmo. 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Valued Contributor
Posts: 582
Registered: ‎08-26-2017

@jaxs mom wrote:

@OfCourse wrote:

"I need to look at my calendar" is an exceedingly rude reply to an invitation, it seems to me.  How long does it take her to do that?  It seems to me she could do that immediately rather than leaving it hanging.  I'd just go ahead and make other plans and then if she replies late just say you thought she couldn't make it and so made other plans.  Hopefully she wouldn't show up at your house unexpectedly.


It's not just her it's also her husband. I don't think it's surprising she'd need to consult with him regarding the plans before RSVPing. 


It's been a week.  She could have checked with her husband within hours if she really wasn't aware of what he'd be doing. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,894
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I would text her that since she hadn't responded as to whether she and her husband were coming, you assumed they weren't and have made other plans. Her behavior, unless there's a reasonable excuse, accident, undelivered text, leaves little doubt that a visit with you is not that enticing to them. 

 

 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 721
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Peaches McPhee wrote:

@Sheilaray, how did this turn out?


I did as most of you suggested, and texted her (24 hours ago). She has not gotten back to me yet. This is super out of character for her (we are all very, very friendly and go back to college days. DH and I are also Godparents to one of their kids).  Now I fear something is very wrong.    :-(

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,652
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Sheilaray, you have done all you can for now.  Plan that they will not come.  Also be ready to assist if they have some trouble ... a meal, whatever.  It seems you are good friends and this lapse is out of character.  LM