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07-27-2016 11:29 PM
@LilacTree wrote:I am so introspective and wish I were not. Being laid back and accepting of what is . . . makes for a much easier life. I have always envied those who can accept things the way they were, or are.
How would you describe yourself?
I can be both, although, I do know that I am very analytical. It just depends on what's going on around me at the time. Typically, when I wash my hands of something, I'm ususally done and can then sit back in a role of a more laid back attitude about "that" situation. All situations are not created equally for me. I think I have a healthy dose of both and know when to apply each aspect of my personality when needed.
07-28-2016 08:04 AM
I think a little of both is more healthy. I have to work at finding that balance. I think I lean more toward too much introspection. Personally, I don't think anyone can look inward and fully understand themselves. People are just too biased for that. Too much introspection is not good but a little is necessary. If you take it too far you can become overly sensitive and fearful of life.
If you grovel with things for too long a time it can cause you to do nothing except "mull things over" (as they used to call it) which leads to fear and quitting or doing nothing. That's when I know I am overthinking something. That's when I just stop and say a prayer and ask God to show me myself for who I really am. I believe he does. Sometimes it's pretty and sometimes it's not so pretty! Not trying to push it on anyone else.... but for me, it works.
07-28-2016 02:42 PM
Ok, this is very creepy! I was just about to write the exact thing, nearly word for word! Wow!😳
07-28-2016 08:30 PM
@Imadickens wrote:Ok, this is very creepy! I was just about to write the exact thing, nearly word for word! Wow!😳
********** Hi, jewelwisher. Not sure whose post you were refering to? I thought maybe it might be the op's....then I got to thinking it might be mine or someone elses and didn't want to ignore you.
07-30-2016 11:04 AM
@Moonchilde wrote:Yes, @LilacTree, I get it :-(
We had issues with my sister, who died of complications of diabetes. She refused to take medication, refused to do a single thing a doctor ever told her, and basically let herself get to the point of no return. She had lifelong depression and refused to consider the possibility. She cut herself off from family and pretty much slammed the door except on her terms.
I know it's frustrating and worrying for you, but you can't fix it for her and she can't fix the Lyme disease. You have to let her go through all these stages/obsessions with what it "really" is, because it's all she thinks she has right now as far as hope. At some point she'll realize on her own that things don't add up - and then she might go on to the next new discovery. There really isn't anytging you can do but nod your head :-(
I don't know how I missed this post. I am so sorry about your sister. I feel it's very similar to the situation with my daughter. We can go days living under the same roof not speaking to each other, or even seeing each other. It's not a negative situation in that she is mad at me or vice versa. It's just that I have learned I cannot bring up anything (not even necessarily about her health) that she agrees with or wishes to discuss.
She goes out every day for hours and sees various friends. I think it makes her feel more normal. If she has nowhere to go, she stays in her room. We talk when we have to make a joint decision about something. And then it's "yes" or "no" pretty much and that's it. I have accepted it.
Her Lyme disease (borrelia burgdorferi) has been diagnosed, the meningitis has not. But she thinks everything she has really stems from Epstein Barr, and that my illnesses do as well. I don't argue with her.
She has other issues too, having nothing to do with her health. We used to discuss them, but we no longer do. I have no idea what's going on with her life. She had a horrible marriage and divorce, and the ramifications from that continue.
I doubt we'll ever get her back to the sweet, funny girl/woman she once was . . . from the dark soul she has become.
07-30-2016 12:14 PM
@LilacTree, I feel bad that your relationship with your daughter isn't a better one--but it is what it is. Like you say, she is a grown woman and will make her own choices.
I was very high strung during my working years but I think I have gotten a little better, but still am an anxious individual who worries about everything. I believe it is just the way I am wired. I do continue to work on changing, but doubt it will ever happen. I have definitely had to learn to go at a slower pace related to generalized aging.
I always have enjoyed Lilac Tree on these boards.
07-30-2016 12:44 PM - edited 07-31-2016 12:05 PM
@RetRN wrote:@LilacTree, I feel bad that your relationship with your daughter isn't a better one--but it is what it is. Like you say, she is a grown woman and will make her own choices.
I was very high strung during my working years but I think I have gotten a little better, but still am an anxious individual who worries about everything. I believe it is just the way I am wired. I do continue to work on changing, but doubt it will ever happen. I have definitely had to learn to go at a slower pace related to generalized aging.
I always have enjoyed Lilac Tree on these boards.
We love each other very much, but at this point, with both of us sick, we can't help each other. It's very sad. I can't handle physical things and she can't handle her many life issues. I know she's severely depressed, but I don't know if therapy would help her . . . she believes in nothing the medical industry has to offer. "It's all lies," is what she always says.
We are unique, we human beings. Most of the time we can't even figure ourselves out, let alone others.
Thank you for your compliment. And back to you, @RetRN.
07-30-2016 01:24 PM
@YorkieonmyPillow wrote:
@LilacTree wrote:I am so introspective and wish I were not. Being laid back and accepting of what is . . . makes for a much easier life. I have always envied those who can accept things the way they were, or are.
How would you describe yourself?
Perhaps the people you envy aren't as laid back as you think they are. Maybe they worry and just put on a front.
OTOH, there ARE people who don't waste a lot of time worrying - my husband is one.
I am becoming more like him, thank goodness.......
@YorkieonmyPillow My husband also, maybe it is a male characteristic!! He does help me also!
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