Community Chat

[hckynut]

@LilacTree wrote:

I am so introspective and wish I were not.  Being laid back and accepting of what is . . . makes for a much easier life.  I have always envied those who can accept things the way they were, or are. 

How would you describe yourself?

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@LilacTree

Hello my friend. I hope today finds you having one of your good or better feeling days.

I suspect from reading my posts for a few years you already know the category in which I fall. Just in case, I have been a laid back person my whole adult life, and younger.

Many I worked with and friends with many that have the Type A personality. They cannot relax and do nothing. In fact some of them, I believe, make up stories to make them look like they are always busy doing something.

Me? When friends ask me what I am doing, many times my answer is "nothing". Some gave me that strange look if we are face to face, and a few seconds of silence by phone. I guess they needed time to think of how to respond.

Not many things get me from my laid back way of life. Like you, things have happened to me, but I never over think them. Doing that to me seems like getting more questions for yourself than answers.  

That's the long and short of how I choose to take things in life that come or pass my way.

Take care of yourself,

hckynut(john)

[2blonde]

I'm introspective too, but I view that as the tendency to examine situations and people from many angles in order to gain a better understanding.  It doesn't make me more worrisome.........in fact it makes me worry less. Once I feel I understand why a person behaves the way they do, or why a situation is happening, it makes me more accepting and relaxed, so I'll be less inclined to worry about it.  After all, worry is usually about a fear of the unknown, isn't it?

Having said the above, I feel that, although my inner self hasn't changed all that much in the 67 years I've been on Earth, how I react to outside forces definitely has changed.  I'm more comfortable with myself, and I no longer sweat the small stuff!

[chickenbutt]

Honestly, I really don't think I am very strong.  To this day I still struggle a lot.  It takes its toll, for sure.  

All I feel like I can do is be a good citizen, help others when I can, and I mostly just keep my difficulties to myself.  I did have therapy for several years and my wonderful psychologist left me with a number of great tools to bring myself out of it, when I'm sinking.  That has been monumentally helpful.    But there is a great bit of distance between the bottom of the hole and feeling on top of it.  

Anyway - we just plug along, no?  

It sounds like maybe your daughter is making a lot of her decisions using emotional-based thinking.   I hope one day she works her way out of her troubles.  Unfortunately, there is probably little you can do but just care and listen.  *sigh*   It's frustrating, I know!!  

[alliswell]

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@QueenDanceALot wrote:

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@QueenDanceALot wrote:

I think you can be both.

Introspection isn't about worry.  It's about examining the reasons for your thoughts and actions.  It's just an interesting and hopefully helpful thing fo do.  Learning about yourself doesn't create worry. 

I can think of a number of people I know who are both introspective AND laid back.

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@QueenDanceALot

I'm going to try really hard to think about something I'm not worried about . . . !!

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But worrying isn't introspection.

Introspection might lead you to worry if your're a worrier.

But introspection can be informative and calming to a person.

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ITA with @QueenDanceALot, being introspective has nothing to do with worrying . . . it is (can be) informative and calming . . . and you can be both -- laid back and introspective.  

"Worry is a terrible misuse of imagination."  - Dan Zadra

[LilacTree]

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@hckynut wrote:

@LilacTree wrote:

I am so introspective and wish I were not.  Being laid back and accepting of what is . . . makes for a much easier life.  I have always envied those who can accept things the way they were, or are. 

How would you describe yourself?

---

@LilacTree

Hello my friend. I hope today finds you having one of your good or better feeling days.

I suspect from reading my posts for a few years you already know the category in which I fall. Just in case, I have been a laid back person my whole adult life, and younger.

Many I worked with and friends with many that have the Type A personality. They cannot relax and do nothing. In fact some of them, I believe, make up stories to make them look like they are always busy doing something.

Me? When friends ask me what I am doing, many times my answer is "nothing". Some gave me that strange look if we are face to face, and a few seconds of silence by phone. I guess they needed time to think of how to respond.

Not many things get me from my laid back way of life. Like you, things have happened to me, but I never over think them. Doing that to me seems like getting more questions for yourself than answers.  

That's the long and short of how I choose to take things in life that come or pass my way.

Take care of yourself,

hckynut(john)

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@hckynut

You're right.  I knew what your answer would be!  You're a lot like my brother.  If I ask him how things are going, he says "fine." If I can't come up with any other questions, the conversation is over. 

UNLESS  . . . it's about politics, and then we fight.  But not this time around.  We have stayed away from it, we are exact opposites!!

You take care too . . . you sound good lately.  ~Ford

[Moonchilde]

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@QueenDanceALot wrote:

I don't understand equating introspection with laziness.

I can think of a couple people I know who are lazy and not introspective in the least.

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Introspection is usually part of introversion - the "inner life." Many extroverts generally consider introverts lazy because they are usually not go-go-go get it done people physically.

[LilacTree]

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@chickenbutt wrote:

Honestly, I really don't think I am very strong.  To this day I still struggle a lot.  It takes its toll, for sure.  

All I feel like I can do is be a good citizen, help others when I can, and I mostly just keep my difficulties to myself.  I did have therapy for several years and my wonderful psychologist left me with a number of great tools to bring myself out of it, when I'm sinking.  That has been monumentally helpful.    But there is a great bit of distance between the bottom of the hole and feeling on top of it.  

Anyway - we just plug along, no?  

It sounds like maybe your daughter is making a lot of her decisions using emotional-based thinking.   I hope one day she works her way out of her troubles.  Unfortunately, there is probably little you can do but just care and listen.  *sigh*   It's frustrating, I know!!  

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@chickenbutt

My daughter has become the whipping boy of the "system," as well as some pretty horrid individuals.  She's beaten down, and has become extremely isolated emotionally.  However, we live together and I know I have to lay off.  In the beginning when I tried to probe (only to help), she just retreated more.  We all worry about her, not just me. 

We had a great day at the beach two weekends ago, laughing and joking around, all of us, and it was wonderful to see her that way if only for a day.

So as you say, we just "plug along."

[Moonchilde]

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@freakygirl wrote:

no matter what the size of "stuff" is, I'll sweat it. ugh. I've been this way since I was a child. serious, sensitive, overthinking everything to pieces. I also have very strong intuition about people and things, and believe me, that doesn't bode well for someone like me. I'm old, yet I haven't grown out of this rut. 

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This has been me for much of my life - certainly all of my working, sole-supporting life. I can finally now start taking the time to probably still over-think (that's not likely to change, lol) but to let it go more easily since I no longer have most of the stressors that made life difficult & angry. I too have always been very intuitive, since childhood. Yay introverts! 😍

[LilacTree]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@QueenDanceALot wrote:

I don't understand equating introspection with laziness.

I can think of a couple people I know who are lazy and not introspective in the least.

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Introspection is usually part of introversion - the "inner life." Many extroverts generally consider introverts because they are usually not go-go-go get it done people physically.

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@Moonchilde

I am useless physically, which is very frustrating.  So I do the phone calling, the e-mailing, the research, etc., and my girls have to do the physical stuff.  They know that.

[ChynnaBlue]

I don't believe being introspective and being laid back are mutually exclusive qualities. Some people are laid back because they're introspective and comfortable with what they find within themselves.