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05-04-2020 07:42 AM - edited 05-04-2020 07:43 AM
I know that they're not REALLY the old timers who used to write them, but after years and years and years of reading the "advice" columns, I'm still doing it.
There was a lag of quite a bit before Covid19 related comments started to appear in them, and today a contributor pointed out an observation that I can't help but admire and take to heart.
It was this- most people who were decent, thoughtful, honest, helpful, reflective, compassionate people BEFORE the virus, STILL ARE, AND MORE SO, and most people who were hostile, suspicious, dishonest, self serving, narcissistic, and petulant, STILL ARE, AND MORE SO AS WELL.
Pretty much sums up life in my part of the world. How about yours?
05-04-2020 07:47 AM
True. If anything, I'd like to hope I've learned to be more patient. 'Be kind' should be our mantra.
05-04-2020 08:03 AM
Makes sense. Why would people change because of a pandemic.
05-04-2020 08:21 AM
True 🙏👍
05-04-2020 09:01 AM
@violann That pretty much sums up the world I've always lived in. It's often a happy thing when we know of someone who manages a major personality or character change, but it's just not been all that common in my life.
I don't love cliches, but I do think there's some truth in many - think of "The leopard doesn't change its spots."
05-04-2020 09:46 AM
Not sure I would agree in all cases. The fear and panic that has been instilled in many have taken over their words and actions. Common sense and reasonable thinking have been replaced with condensation and blindly following.
05-04-2020 10:03 AM - edited 05-04-2020 10:07 AM
To quote a saying that sums it up---- "Can a leopard change its spots?"....................NOPE!!! or to quote a 70's song...."Watchaa see, is whatchaa get!"
05-04-2020 11:47 AM
I have observed the opposite, kind of. Neighbors who live in my building who I liked and respected before all this happened have started behaving in ways I find intolerable and in fact disgraceful. For the record, I wear a face covering in any and all public areas of my building as well as on any errands out in the town. From the moment I leave my apartment door to the moment I get back inside.
Most wear no face covering in the common areas of the building such as mailbox area, laundry room, elevators, etc. When they see me with my mask they do weird things like say, oh sorry, and cover their face with their hand, or just look away, or say oh I was just coming down here "real quick" for my mail. Absolutely no respect for any of their neighbors, as we all know the face covering is to protect OTHER PEOPLE not yourself. So they are saying I don't care if I get you and everyone else here sick.
Next door neighbors have developed a routine of inviting their relatives to come by and stand outside literally shouting at them on their balcony at top volume. Not talking a lttle loudly, full on shouting. This goes on for an extended period of time. It is not only incredibly disruptive and annoying and totally unnecessary (ever hear of Facedtime, Zoom, Skype?) but I was trying to do a zoom meeting last week for work and had to explain to my boss why these losers were shouting in the background. Very embarassing.
Some groups have taken to setting up camps in the front of the building, blocking access to the sidewalk. Some not wearing any face covering, of course. One group had an actual party on the sidewalk outside my building complete with lawn chairs and balloons, again blocking my ability to exit and some with no face coverings. I literally hate these people now as they are exhibiting such entitlement and lack of consideration (also lack of intelligence). It's like, look at me, my face is free and I'm going to take over as many public spaces as I can while you can just be the one who stays out of the way and wears your face mask.
Big sign on the front door to the building saying absolutely no housekeepers allowed and residents will be fined if caught. Next door neighbors have had their housekeeper coming 3-4 times a week. Others having visitors over who roam the common areas with no face covering. The list goes on and on.
Here's my measure: is it ok if we all do these things? No. We can't all invite friends and family over to shout at the top of their lungs at the front of the building. We can't all just have a party in a public space with no face cover. This would result in chaos and spikes in infection rates. So those who behave like this think it's just their privelege and not for others. I will not be maintaining my friendships with a number of these idiots going forward. They have shown their true colors during a time when we all need to be MORE considerate to our neighbors, not less.
05-04-2020 01:09 PM
I agree. But I also think that many people only learn and grow from adversity. Think of all the people who try to reconcile with their families on their deathbeds. They wait until the very last second to do what they had wanted to do, deep down, the whole time.
So if you've had a pretty comfortable life lately, and joy doesn't make you grow (that's pretty rare), there's nothing to learn from your comfortable situation. Many of us have been stagnant and coasting along and deep down we know it.
One thing I've noticed about people who are about to transform themselves and learn a big lesson--they are not happy people right before they learn and grow. They can be some of the most miserable unhappy angry people you'd ever care to meet.
But once they can't use their usual methods to feel better, to make the world make sense again--they give in and transform themselves when all attempts to transform the world around them fail.
I think we're just being given the privilege to observe people around us working through their issues right in front of us. It's hard. Like a chick pecking out of an egg. But you can't get in there and help or change them, only wish them the same peace and happiness you wish on yourself.
05-04-2020 05:17 PM
@CrazyDaisy wrote:Not sure I would agree in all cases. The fear and panic that has been instilled in many have taken over their words and actions. Common sense and reasonable thinking have been replaced with condensation and blindly following.
@CrazyDaisy, so what is it that you don't agree with in the OP? It seems more as if you want to again express your opinion that people who adhere to the restrictions are acting like sheep.
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