Community Chat

[esmerelda]

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

My Husband's parents had a trust...and it was all written up how everything would be dispersed.  It went by percentage...my Husband and his brother got their percentage ....and some to his brothers two children.  We had no children...

I am happy that his brothers  two girls received a nice inheritance.  We were never concerned about getting less. That sounds so petty. 

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@SeaMaiden  "a nice inheritance" for grandchildren sounds like there was plenty to go around.  You didn't mention the percentages (no need to), but percentages could be applied to all cases. I wonder...would you think it was "petty" in a case where there were 5 (2 adult kids, one of whom has 3 kids, you're the other one with 0 kids) and each got 20%. 

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@esmerelda   Well if you start could of would of... you can make  a mountain out of a molehill. 

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@SeaMaiden   No, I think whether one is concerned with what someone does with money they leave behind is a matter of principle, philosophy, maybe morals? You either think you have a say or you don’t think so.  

IMO their money, their choice, and “God bless the child that’s got his own.”

[Still Raining]

My money, my rules.

I set up a trust, in order to avoid probate, and also set up testamentary trusts for the grandkids.  With percents.  Everyone seems fine with it.

[hckynut]

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@Sheila P-Burg wrote:

 That money/assets belonged to the deceased and whatever reason for how they decided to leave things was their decision to make. 

@Sheila P-Burg 

Have you read my other post in this thread? If not, the part of your quote I left above, is not always true.

I won't type my story again, too long as usual. I explained the reason in my other post.

hckynut 🏒

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[germanshepherdlove]

I think each child deserves an equal share even if one lived with the parent or both to be their caregivers.  I am quite sure that while he was performing those duties they were slipping him money for things that were not essentials as well as giving him free room and board.  Other children may have been living too far away in another state or have a job that just could not leave as it was their career on the line.  In the matter of grandkids, those children of the deceased who have kids can put aside whatever they choose from their share.  

[FiddleDeeDee]

DH and I just finished updating our wills. It was a long and carefully thought-out task based on our assets now, what they may be in the future and what we have witnessed recently with deaths among the parents of friends.

IMHO, any decent lawyer should EXPLAIN CAREFULLY what the actions of those writing the will may cause for their children, grandchildren, etc. Ours did. So did the attorney who handled my in-laws will and friends of ours. My mothers' attorney either failed to do this or didn't care and the result has been a nightmare. I believe in my gut that those writing their wills often do so KNOWING they will cause hurt, pain and anger (as well as pitching siblings against siblings, etc). Why would they do this? Because it's their LAST chance to have the last word and leave drama as their gift. Cold, nasty, mean-spirited and well, there it is.  Again, my opinion and yes, there are always exceptions. 

[KaySD]

All very interesting points of view.

My two cents--and this is just me personally, not saying I'm right or different ideas are wrong--I don't feel entitled to have an opinion about how anyone chooses to leave their money. And I'm pretty sure i won't be concerned about anything of mine once i'm gone! This makes me happy, with no attachments or resentments.

[sissel]

It's not about death it's about a living will also, who is your excurator? We did go to an estate lawyer a year ago wow it was expensivive but what happens if you are alive & not in good health? Who has permission to pay your bills or make a decision? I am going threw this now with my brother. Long story but he is now in rehab & going better but never applied to soc sec which I had to do and find info. I live in Az him in Pa. his 2 daughters live 5hr away. He gave me all rights to make sure I would take care of all of it. He is a very private person so his children (adults) have no idea either. We have got the info now. I have 1 DD what happens if she dies before us? If she has children it will into a trust til age of 30 what happens if she dies no children? So many things can happen. I have seen siblings fight over stuff & never talk to eachother again. Shame that has to happen because the parents never got this in order. 

[Sheila P-Burg]

@hckynut  ....... I read your earlier post and chose not to comment as it pertained to a matter that was settled within the court system. Without knowing the details of the reason as to questioning the will and the evidence to back up the dispute I cannot and will not voice an opinion on any courts decision. I can only hope the jury was correct in their verdict.

There is only certain circumstances that I believe a person's last wishes should be altered. The court case you referenced might have been because of one of those circumstances which would have made it necessary for legal interference.

[shoekitty]

In our will everything goes to our 3 kids, after a couple donations    I have told the grandchildren that their parents are suppose to give them a cut....at their discretion  lol!   I didn't want to get into leaving each of grands, because life changes.   For all we know we could loose every dime we have, eat it up in care   Who knows.  Then if there was just a little left,my kids can share in that and give or not accordingly.  All of my kids stand to inherit a quite a bit, from us and their in-laws.  When they go,they leave it to their kids and so it goes.

my mother gave each of my grands college funds which most have used in college  some have a few years to go.  I help with college, weddings, and other gifts.  I am a firm believer of sharing while I can see the joy in their faces.  Lol   What ever comes to them after we go is a gift, and they will love it

[NicksmomESQ]

  I believe that everyone has the right to decide how they want their assets to be distributed. You don't owe anyone anything,period.

  My mom wrote my sibling out of her Will.She explained her reason & how it pained her to do so in the Will so there could be no misinterpreting her intentions.

  Bottom line,it's your assets. There is no right or wrong.