Community Chat

[mom2four0418]

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@Foxxee wrote:

Some parents divide everything equally to prevent resentment

And, many parents divide everything equally because that is how they love their children - equally.

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[shoekitty]

Anything you receive from an estate or will is a gift, pure and simple. I agree about he kids giving to their kids.  It doesn't always wind up that way.  I will say here and now when it comes to money, some people are just greedy and feel entitled.  I have seen sibling never speak to each other again over a lamp and 10 dollars.

most wills nowadays have  that clause about contesting the will.  When people do their wills they really need to think about second families and blood lines.   Have also seen the bulk of an estate go to the kids from first marriages, when it was the kids from the second marriage that stayed around and helped the parent for 30 years while the first family kids were never around.   Once they get the money, sometimes  they never think to do what's right either.

then there are people that change their will so many times there is court battle.  When a will is null and void, or no one bothered to leave a will, the money goes to the oldest person of the blood line on the diseased side.  Which means a niece or someone  you have never met could wind up with your estate over the people who took care of you.

[willdob3]

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@mom2four0418 wrote:

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@Foxxee wrote:

Some parents divide everything equally to prevent resentment

And, many parents divide everything equally because that is how they love their children - equally.

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@mom2four0418 

How someone divides things in their will is not necessarily reflective of the amount of love they have for those inheriting. I surely hope most people do not believe that.

[september]

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@depglass wrote:

I haven't read the thread because I feel so strongly about this.  The division should be up to the person making the will, its their money.  

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Absolutely.  And in some families, like mine, some of the siblings have children while others do not 

The ones who don't, are definitely better off financially, since they haven't had all the childcare/educational expenses over the years. 

I can see why some grandparents would realize this and leave something specifically for the next generation.  Their money, their decision 

[mom2four0418]

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@willdob3 wrote:

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@mom2four0418 wrote:

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@Foxxee wrote:

Some parents divide everything equally to prevent resentment

And, many parents divide everything equally because that is how they love their children - equally.

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@mom2four0418 

How someone divides things in their will is not necessarily reflective of the amount of love they have for those inheriting. I surely hope most people do not believe that.

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And many times it is. 

[SeaMaiden]

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@esmerelda wrote:

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

My Husband's parents had a trust...and it was all written up how everything would be dispersed.  It went by percentage...my Husband and his brother got their percentage ....and some to his brothers two children.  We had no children...

I am happy that his brothers  two girls received a nice inheritance.  We were never concerned about getting less. That sounds so petty. 

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@SeaMaiden  "a nice inheritance" for grandchildren sounds like there was plenty to go around.  You didn't mention the percentages (no need to), but percentages could be applied to all cases. I wonder...would you think it was "petty" in a case where there were 5 (2 adult kids, one of whom has 3 kids, you're the other one with 0 kids) and each got 20%. 

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@esmerelda   Well if you start could of would of... you can make  a mountain out of a molehill. 

[FancyPhillyshopper]

DH and I did a large international trip last summer and thus created our first ever will.

The first thing we wrote into our wills was setting aside large amount of funding for our fur babies!!  All the money will go through our vet to ensure happy and healthy lives for all our pets as long as they live.  Family will receive the rest divided up.

MIL passed last year and SIL was a caretaker for over a decade and received everything.  We did not want or expect an inheritance. 

We have had very good careers and will never want or need. Inheritance issues should never ruin family ties!

[Annabellethecat66]

Since my husband died I had to redo my will 2 times.

The first was a redo after he died and the second (about 10 months ago) was when my daughter's divorce was finalized.

It cost a lot of money to get it done right, but it was worth every penny.

My middle daughter's inheritance will be put in a trust for her.

I made it air tight that my former son-in-law will never get a penny of her inheritance.  When my grandchildren turn 18 and if their mother is deceased the trust (along with my oldest daughter...who's the executor) will see to it that they have money for college, etc.

I got cheated out of my inheritance from my Dad because he never changed his will from his Mother.  His mother died so his money that she inherite went to all three of her children (2 were deceased) so my terrible Uncle got my father's money which I should have received.

That was when I was 16 years old.  A lesson learned and I never forgot.

I know you can make up wills from the internet.  That works for some if it's simple, but mine is more complicated.

It's amazing how many people don't have wills.

People will say, "I don't have anything".  But when they add it up they do have something.

The lawyer made sure everything I inherited is tied up in a nice little bow so no worry.

My 3 daughters know exactly where the important papers are located and that their oldest sister is on all of my accounts in case something happens to me.

You learn too when your husband drops dead in your arms.  Think of someone blinking....that's how quickly my life changed.  

We had lots of companies and things I had to learn about quickly.  I did it with the help of my oldest daughter.

I hope everyone finds time to make up some kind of will.  

[Sheila P-Burg]

@Abrowneyegirl  ...... You mention the one daughter was the primary care-taker. Only that daughter and the deceased know if or how much that daughter might have been compensated without the rest of the family's knowledge when the deceased was alive.

[busymom22]

I believe the most fair distribution is to split an estate equally between adult children. How is it fair if one adult kid has a large family, while another remains single?  It's not fair if a bunch of grandchildren from one adult child reduces the inheritance of another.