Interesting conversation about wills - Page 3

Mz iMac · ‎07-26-2014

@tends2dogs wrote:
I also don't get people that scrimp through life so they can leave $$ to their kids. Unless you have a child that is going to need care for the rest of their life, people should live their life, enjoying what they can afford and then if their is anything left when you are gone, it can go to whoever you designate......whether it is your kids, charities, whatever.

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

Abrowneyegirl · ‎03-15-2010

@tends2dogs

Your point about scrimping money to ensure an inheritance is a valid point.

We have family that is living in a miserable situation with NO Quality of Life because they are pinching pennies so they can leave their children an inheritance ?!?!?!?!?

We (not their children) are all like PLEASE enjoy every last dime- but we are sure there are a few who are waiting for a payday. Karma!

After taxes people may get a couple of thousand- big deal. In the meantime turn on the air conditioner!!

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

A good friend is thinking about this now. They have no kids, the siblings don't need it and she doubts the nieces/nephews would appreciate it or use it well. So she is looking at charities.

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Keepin' it real.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@SeaMaiden wrote:
My Husband's parents had a trust...and it was all written up how everything would be dispersed. It went by percentage...my Husband and his brother got their percentage ....and some to his brothers two children. We had no children...

I am happy that his brothers two girls received a nice inheritance. We were never concerned about getting less. That sounds so petty.

@SeaMaiden "a nice inheritance" for grandchildren sounds like there was plenty to go around. You didn't mention the percentages (no need to), but percentages could be applied to all cases. I wonder...would you think it was "petty" in a case where there were 5 (2 adult kids, one of whom has 3 kids, you're the other one with 0 kids) and each got 20%.

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Keepin' it real.

patbz · ‎03-10-2010

When my Mother in law passed her assets were divided into four parts, one for each surviving child (3 kids) and fourth part was divided into two parts ( one for each of the two children of my DHs departed brother). Additionally, DH and his surviving brother each gave 1/2 of their share to their sister (who cared for their Mom). We all felt good about this and had as a group decided that the two fatherless boys (both adults) needed to be included. Forty years earlier, my MIL was widowed and had to raise four kids and was NOT included when her in-laws passed (as a widow with no ed beyond h.s. she had a hard time.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Abrowneyegirl wrote:
@tends2dogs
Your point about scrimping money to ensure an inheritance is a valid point.
We have family that is living in a miserable situation with NO Quality of Life because they are pinching pennies so they can leave their children an inheritance ?!?!?!?!?
We (not their children) are all like PLEASE enjoy every last dime- but we are sure there are a few who are waiting for a payday. Karma!
After taxes people may get a couple of thousand- big deal. In the meantime turn on the air conditioner!!

Often a selling point when selling insurance to seniors..."it would be nice to leave something for the kids." If the kids need your money when you die, you didn't do a very good job raising them.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

Sheila P-Burg · ‎10-10-2019

I always wonder when a person questions a deceased person's final wishes what their true feelings were toward the deceased. Were they invested in that person's life for the right reason or because of what they might be able to gain.

When you question a person's will most times you answer the question. Too many times the questions are due to greed and envy.

The money/assets left in a will should not have to be explained to any individual. That money/assets belonged to the deceased and whatever reason for how they decided to leave things was their decision to make.

Until reading this thread I had not ever heard there was a protocol for how you should leave your assets in a will.

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

My opinion:

No to grandchildren unless one or more has been very close and/or helpful in later years.

Only to children, again, who have been very close and/or helpful in later years.

One example. Daughter invited parents to live with her and lived 11 and 13 years until they died during which time she was their caretaker. When they died, the two other daughters who did not help at all were miffed because they didn't receive as much as the caretaker sister.

The mother had Alzheimer's. Father Macular Degeneration. They were not put in a nursing home.

Anyone a caretaker....know how difficult it is to care for one parent let alone two at the same time?

Another example. A son who had been divorced for some time moved in with his mother to take care of her. He cared for her for 8 years until she died. One daughter went to the house to give her baths. The other daughter and two sons did nothing.

The mother divided all her assets equally between all five children essentially throwing the son out of the house he lived in for 8 years.

What is fair here? I think the children who are there for you should be given more in the will. Nothing to grandchildren unless one has been very helpful.

Some children think they deserve something just because they are offspring or grandchildren.

This may cause animosity between them. In the first case, siblings didn't think their sister caretaker should have gotten more. None of them talk to this sister essentially blaming her for what the father decided. It's been 7 years.

The second, there was animosity at first, but are at least talking to each other after two years.

Some parents divide everything equally to prevent resentment, but what about those who give up a lot to help their parents.

Lastly, I don't think parents should discuss the content of their wills with anyone in the family before they die. Sometimes, you'll see one or more trying to coerce their parents into giving them more.

Sushismom · ‎03-09-2010

Just like I don't tell others how to spend their money, I also don't tell them how to leave their money. However they wish is their own business.

lynnie61 · ‎04-28-2010

There will always be someone not happy. Yes, it’s up to the owner, but as some have said, the one with no kids did take care of the parents. When my grandparents passed, the living children (2 of 4) got the bulk of the estate, the 12 grandchildren got a token amount. The spouses of the two deceased kids got zero. My sister and I have no children, the niece and nephews think it is all coming their way. Well, I’m living life, if there is something left over, then so be it. I’m certainly not scrimping to save it for them. Enjoy life, life is short.

We we were always taught, make your own, and don’t expect anything. And I don’t. I get mad that my dad tries to save more, go live and enjoy it, your kids have made their own.