Community Chat

[manny2]

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@Goldengate8361 wrote:

@ThinkingOutLoud I am not saying that she should do it out of spite at all. No need for "spite." I am merely reminding her that if is HER body and her decision, not her husbands. This is 2022, after all, not 1822. I cringe when I see women let themselves be treated like a male (spouse or boyfriend) owns them...like property who has more say in what they do than the woman herself.

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@Goldengate8361 I agree I am surprised at some of the responses. Communication is key in any marriage,so it's good she let him know her intentions. But to say you wouldn't do it because it would upset him, or that he might do something you don't like. I don't get that at all.  No he has to figure a healthy way to deal with it. 

[Katcat1]

@CritterKeeper   I would be concerned if you wanted to tatoo your whole back or chest but not a tiny tatoo at the wrist.  Personally, I don't understand this popularity with tatoos right now.  Tatooing the entire body is a bit much and I would get tired of the same look all the time.  Back to your dilemma, tell your husband what you are going to do as he has a right to know but when it comes to a tiny tatoo, I don't think it's a big deal.  Get ready for the yelling and bring out the ear plugs!!  lol

[Tinkrbl44]

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@CritterKeeper wrote:

Hello. I have been married to an absolutely wonderful person for nearly 25 years. We have had our ups and downs but for the most part, we are happy and healthy. 

When we were dating, we discussed many things including tattoos. At that time I had no interest in having any. Things and attitudes change throughout the years and I now have two modest tattoos on my feet. My husband HATES them. He didn't speak to me for two days when I got my second one.

I recently started fostering rescue dogs (which I absolutely love). I now want to get a small tattoo on my wrist in honor of this. I will be getting it around the time of my 46th birthday. I know this is going to cause a complete uproar and possible argument.

Am I just being selfish by doing this? I feel it is my body and as long as I'm not infringing on someone else's I should be able to do it. But perhaps I should forgo some of my personal wishes to keep the peace? 

I just need an unbiased opinion to guide me in this. 

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@CritterKeeper 

I don't know you, am not sure if we've ever discussed anything on here, and have not read every post in this thread.

Having said that .... my take on this is you should skip getting any more tatoos unless you're doing it to weaken your marriage.  Maybe you want out of the marriage?  Putting it on your wrist will annoy him every single day ... certainly you must realize that.

IMO ....  You do not need to get a tat to "honor" working with dogs.   That's ridiculous. 

Since you already know it will cause a "complete uproar" but want to do it anyway .... be honest with yourself  .....  maybe you should just get a divorce and then you'd be happier.

IMO, you need to seriously question your motivations here ...  something is a little hinky with your reasoning.

[Duckncover]

If you are sure you will get one, at least tell him in advance...don't just surprise him with it. I think a beautiful necklace paw print charm or bracelet with a paw print would be nicer and something you could pass down. When I would interview job candidates, the CEO would look at the  ankles of the women as they left the office...if she saw an ankle tattoo, she would put their resume in the round, metal file cabinet on the floor.  We lost some very good, qualified people due to those tattoos and I am sure they wondered why they never received a call back. Seems people aren't usually ambivalent about tattoos....it's a love or hate thing.

[Drythe]

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@manny2 wrote:

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@Drythe wrote:

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@manny2 wrote:

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@goldensrbest wrote:

I can see a women getting one small tattoo, only one,i agree with your husband, i see people with so many on them,up and down arms ,legs ,it looks really bad.

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That is simply your opinion @goldensrbest  Look around you not everybody agrees. Tattoos are a part of pop culture. They do not define a person. 

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@manny2 

Of Course it’s her OWN opinion, who else’s opinion would she represent?  One logs on to post their own opinions - that goes without saying.

Additionally, OP asked for opinions.  💡 

@goldensrbest 

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I can read @Drythe What she gave her was judgement. You can have one small tattoo or it looks really bad. Yes that helps! 

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@manny2 

That is simply your opinion.

[mamaslittlepotato]

I think you should get the tattoo. You only have small ones anyway, so he should just accept it . JMO

[Free2be]

As long as she is comfortable with any amount of disgust he feels when he looks at her, she should get as many tats as she wants.  If the next one drives a big wedge, accept that cost, too.  She feels how she feels, he does too.

Perhaps they should sit down and talk this through thoroughly before any further inking happens.  He needs to hear that her desire for more ink on her body is not to drive him away.  Unless it is.  That all needs to be completely thought through then discussed.

[AuntG]

To me, it's kind of insignificant and I would see no reason to do it. 

[Carmie]

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@manny2 wrote:

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@Goldengate8361 wrote:

@ThinkingOutLoud I am not saying that she should do it out of spite at all. No need for "spite." I am merely reminding her that if is HER body and her decision, not her husbands. This is 2022, after all, not 1822. I cringe when I see women let themselves be treated like a male (spouse or boyfriend) owns them...like property who has more say in what they do than the woman herself.

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@Goldengate8361 I agree I am surprised at some of the responses. Communication is key in any marriage,so it's good she let him know her intentions. But to say you wouldn't do it because it would upset him, or that he might do something you don't like. I don't get that at all.  No he has to figure a healthy way to deal with it. 

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Marriage is a partnership.  The OP agreed already not go get a tattoo and did.  Twice.

Most married couples vow to be faithful.  What if one of them decided after 25 years they changed their mind and went ahead and cheated...twice?

Their spouse was not happy, but excepted that it happened.  And then, cheating happened  again because somone wanted independence.  Their body, their choice, huh?

This is not about control.  It is about keeping your word and respecting your spouse.  I am a person who does not like tattoos.  I don't care if people have them, but I didn't want go see any on my spouse.  My husband said he wouldn't get one....at one time before we were married he wanted a small skunk tattoo his arm.

I asked him not to get it and he agreed.  If, he after 49 years of marriage he went and got one, I would never trust him.  Something like that causes friction in a marriage.

I don't own my husband and he doesn't own me. We are each  half of a couple that makes us complete.

I voluntary would never do anything that would upset him or break a promise and he does the same for me.

If you want complete independence and be able to go rogue, then you shouldn't be married.  That is the same for men and women. It is not a struggle to have power over the other person.

[Porcelain]

Why not just buy a box of bandaids? If he finds your tattoo too distracting when you're alone together, put a bandaid over it so he doesn't have to see it. If it's simply an aesthetic visual preference and not a control issue on his part, problem solved.