Community Chat

[CritterKeeper]

Hello. I have been married to an absolutely wonderful person for nearly 25 years. We have had our ups and downs but for the most part, we are happy and healthy. 

When we were dating, we discussed many things including tattoos. At that time I had no interest in having any. Things and attitudes change throughout the years and I now have two modest tattoos on my feet. My husband HATES them. He didn't speak to me for two days when I got my second one.

I recently started fostering rescue dogs (which I absolutely love). I now want to get a small tattoo on my wrist in honor of this. I will be getting it around the time of my 46th birthday. I know this is going to cause a complete uproar and possible argument.

Am I just being selfish by doing this? I feel it is my body and as long as I'm not infringing on someone else's I should be able to do it. But perhaps I should forgo some of my personal wishes to keep the peace? 

I just need an unbiased opinion to guide me in this. 

[Mindy D]

If you promised there would be no tattoos, then no, you should not get another one. If you only said that you don't like tattoos, then it is up to you. You will have to decide if you want your husband to have to look at something he detests in such an obvious place as your wrist. 

How would you feel if your husband suddenly went and got his nose pierced or got tattoos on his face or anything that you have difficulty looking at everyday? What about a tongue piercing? 

[santorini]

It's all a matter of personal opinions.  I don't like tattoos and don't like looking at them either.  I think it messes up one's beauty.  Maybe he thinks that it tarnishes your beauty in some way.  Who knows but good luck.

[SilleeMee]

"...for better, for worse..."  That's what I beleive in so do as you wish.

[CritterKeeper]

@Mindy D  Thank you for this insight. It's always good to hear other points of view.

[RollTide2008]

This isn’t a hill I’d die.

[chickenbutt]

I guess I would unbiased, as I don't have a feeling one way or the other about tattoos.  Well, except that needles hurt   so I don't have any.

That said, I'm wondering what his reasons are for hating them so much.  That might be part of the key as to what to do, or not do, next.

I agree that it's your body, your choice.   But sometimes, like you said, maybe keeping the peace might override that a bit.   If you are doing something with your body that doesn't hurt or in any way negative affect another, then there generally shouldn't be limits.

But if this is causing big problems with the husband that kind of seeps into the choice part.  Is it a religious thing for him?  Or does he just find them so repugnant that your having them is chipping away at your relationship over all?

So many questions, right? 

[Group 5 minus 1]

I will answer in form of a question: Do you want the tatoo or marriage? 

[gtx]

I wouldn't risk my marriage for a tattoo. He will have to see it everytime he looks at you if it is on your wrist. It will cause unhappiness and resentment on his part. If you care for him and your life together do not do it.

[RedTop]

I personally do not like tattoos, and am very happy my husband does not like them and does not have any.   

My thoughts are that if you go for a third one after knowing your husband is not happy with the previous two, you are intentionally "poking the bear".

The "my body, my choice" point always stands, but with 47 years of marriage behind me, I go more with "pick your battles".