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Valued Contributor
Posts: 548
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

I worked in a retail department store. A lady that worked many years in the women's clothing department for over 30 years was very good at just looking at a woman and know what size to recommend. She was really good at her job. However, she suddenly had psoriasis. It made large scabbed areas on her arms. Women who she had waited on for years would look at her arms and decide that she had something they could catch. She would greet her customers, by name, she had taken care of them for so long, and as soon as they saw her arms, they practically ran from the department, usually giving some lame excuse as they left. It really hurt her. She was a wonderful lady, and she was really good at her job, but she eventually retired because the customers wouldn't let her wait on them. No matter how many times she told them that it was something she couldn't pass on to them, they just wouldn't hear her. People are so judgemental.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,141
Registered: ‎03-04-2015

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

People can be so rude, some on purpose,some don't know any better. Way back in 1982 after my Son was born, an older lady came up to me and asked, when are you due? I said, three months ago...the look on her face was priceless

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,857
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

Sorry that happened to you.It was probably out of concern ...might have thought you were in a bad accident.I didn’t know of a condition that causes bad bruising but I most likely would have thought you had some kind of accident and that it would be rude of me to pretend not to notice.I have a friend with really active psoriasis and her extremities are covered in huge red sores.She gets asked a lot of times what happened to her.She is so used to it now that she just explains it to anyone who asks.I feel bad though when she is asked at times if she is contagious and you can tell people keep their distance.

When my son was about three he saw a man in a wheelchair and asked him why he didn’t get out of the chair to walk...was he lazy?We had recently had this discussion as my son wanted to ride in his stroller more often than I thought necessary.The man was really understanding though and replied that his legs wouldn’t work but if they did he would love to walk.I was trying to apologize but the man said that he was happy to answer the question.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,253
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

I don't get bothered if someone asks me about this; it really IS unusual and those blotches get your attention. I don't mind being asked; as someone else said, I feel like it's an opportunity to educate people. What I object to is someone saying it LOUDLY at a party--or any other social situation.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,857
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

@FuzzyFace@I hope that you won’t mind me saying this but I think you should just get comfortable with it.If this bruising problem will persist then might as well get on with the joys of living and let others think or wonder without letting it affect your happy.Strangers might stare or comment but why should they deserve the power to ruin one second of your day.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,136
Registered: ‎11-02-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

I'm sorry that happened to you, @FuzzyFace.  I once witnessed someone loudly say: "What happened to her face?!" to a person who's child had a large port wine stain on her face.  I felt so bad for the parent and the child. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,136
Registered: ‎11-02-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

That's so good, @panda1234!  I have to remember it!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,480
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

Unfortunately, answering their questions, explaining encourages them to continue their unacceptable behavior so that others will experience more of the same. Returing rude for rude puts you at their level.

 

What I think best is to ignore their question say please excuse me and walk away.

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,429
Registered: ‎12-12-2017

Re: I wish people would think before they speak


@nana59 wrote:

you can't fix stupid.......


Oh my goodness!  I have a friend that says  STUPID...CAN'T BUY IT Smiley Happy!   So funny every time she says it!  That woman was wrong to say anything at all.  Total lack of manners and cooth.  

Valued Contributor
Posts: 998
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

You have no reason to be embarrassed; you have a condition that you have no control over, the nitwit who spoke to you has control over hers- called ignorance.

 

Bless you sweet lady.