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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,327
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

I have a standard answer for this type of question and this is how it goes. "I will forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering". Oh, and you must say it with a smile......leaves them baffled. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,619
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

Just now thinking that there should be some sort of class focusing on the art of manners.

In elementary school. 

I'm not sure what the title of the class would be, but something similar to the Finishing Schools of the past.

Well, it's something parents should think about; and it most likely would have positive results. 

It's been said that personalities are developed during those young years.  Maybe parents should write to their school administrators.  'See what happens'....

Well, (again) it's worth a try.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,492
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak


@ROMARY wrote:

Just now thinking that there should be some sort of class focusing on the art of manners.

In elementary school. 

I'm not sure what the title of the class would be, but something similar to the Finishing Schools of the past.

Well, it's something parents should think about; and it most likely would have positive results. 

It's been said that personalities are developed during those young years.  Maybe parents should write to their school administrators.  'See what happens'....

Well, (again) it's worth a try.


Teaching basic manners and decency is not the job of elementary school teachers.  That is the parent's domain.

 

Private finishing schools and etiquette classes are different.  That is the purpose of those institutions.

The more I learn the more I realize how little I know.
Are you setting an example or being an example?
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,896
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

An adult women said that. Rude just RUDE. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,388
Registered: ‎04-14-2013

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

Explain what it is.  The next time this person encounters it, they will have a better understanding.

Cogito ergo sum
Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,619
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

[ Edited ]

Marp:  Yes, let's just hope that most parents in this day and age are teaching their youngsters manners and decency. 

It would be an interesting study/survey, for sure.

There are a few grandparents (in our neighborhood) who take care of their grandchildren who are doing a fine job.  Tiny toddlers blowing kisses to me as we walk by their living room windows. They make heart-shaped gestures to me, etc. Without being told.  It seems to be entirely automatic.  (Grandmas standing with them.)

It's heart-warming Heart  (pun intended).

 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,872
Registered: ‎08-19-2014

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

 I have no patience for inconsiderate people.That was just plain mean of her!! I would have looked at her & said “ There is nothing wrong with me but there is definitely something wrong with you!! “.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: I wish people would think before they speak


@Sweetbay magnolia wrote:

Explain what it is.  The next time this person encounters it, they will have a better understanding.


ITA.

There are a zillion reasons why she shouldn’t have said anything,

but once something is said, we have the power to direct the remark to

our liking. With the information given, I would guess this person

had no ill-intent. And with that thought, I would take the opportunity

to answer her question of ‘what is wrong’.  It’s nothing to be 

ashamed of, yes?  

 

Worse case....if they take the low road, you take the high road.

Explain, explain, explain.  

 

And maybe a Southern-belle ‘bless your heart’, if so desired. 🙂

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,279
Registered: ‎05-15-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak


@QVC kitty 1 wrote:

Some people don't have a filter, I avoid them. I'm sorry this person embarrassed you.


Actually, when all is said and done, I think that rude woman embarrassed herself.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,649
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak


@sidsmom wrote:

@Sweetbay magnolia wrote:

Explain what it is.  The next time this person encounters it, they will have a better understanding.


ITA.

There are a zillion reasons why she shouldn’t have said anything,

but once something is said, we have the power to direct the remark to

our liking. With the information given, I would guess this person

had no ill-intent. And with that thought, I would take the opportunity

to answer her question of ‘what is wrong’.  It’s nothing to be 

ashamed of, yes?  

 

Worse case....if they take the low road, you take the high road.

Explain, explain, explain.  

 

And maybe a Southern-belle ‘bless your heart’, if so desired. 🙂


I am liking your response, @sidsmom

Very much.

 

We all get caught from time to time in a similar situation, and I certainly empathize with @FuzzyFace for being hit with such unexpected and blatant remarks. 

 

I do think it might be helpful for each of us to take a moment to do the famous "count to ten" and then use one of the techniques sidsmom mentions if we even think in the slightest that we might be the object of such unwelcome attention.   To do so keeps us from being anything at all like a "victim" but maintains our own dignity.  

 

I know I could use such practice myself in certain situations and I'm going to take some time to do so.

 

Love to be home . . . thus the screen name. Joined 2003.