Reply
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,739
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

(thread title only)

 

There are many people like myself that do not always have their mouth in the same gear as their brain. My belief is it happens to us all at some point in our longer lives, and I would question anyone that would say they have not been guilty of this at some point in their longer lives.

 

 

 

hckynut(john)

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,279
Registered: ‎05-14-2011

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

@FuzzyFace  Your post struck a chord with me.  First of all, my heart goes out to you, as I can relate.  I was born with a skin condition, as well.   I do agree with you that the individual could have asked you privately, if the question needed to be asked at all.

 

As a teacher, I am very sensitive to how my students treat one another and use my own experienes to foster an environment of acceptance in my classroom.

 

Thanks for sharing your story!

Panda

I'm not short...I'm fun size!
Valued Contributor
Posts: 553
Registered: ‎08-31-2015

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

@FuzzyFaceI would respond " I have a medical condition and I don't appreciate your intrusive concern". Look the person directly in the eyes. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,841
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

With so much bully-ing going on now-a-days, it would be interesting to find out if the bullies' parents, years ago, taught/encouraged their very young youngsters the art of being kind, respectful, etc. 

Sometimes (not always) the parents themselves aren't very grateful, kind, respectful.

Years ago, I had noticed that when I gave a gift to a very young child, sometimes the parent wouldn't say 'Thank you'.

However, I do believe that things have changed.  Talking about in my neighborhood where there are many grandmothers who are caring for very young children.  As I have often said, they are training those very young children/toddlers, etc. to be very, very appreciative. 

So, I do believe that there are many/some children who have 'manners'. 

Well, again, just rambling on.

I have been having intermittant Internet service, so I find myself cramming in as much as possible when I have access, lol.

Enjoy your weekend!

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,739
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

All you have to say is that you have a condition and do not want to talk about it. And that is it!

I love my pups!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 23,772
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

Some people are just rude, insensitive and nosy but someone could easily ask what is wrong with YOU.  Why are you blaming every person in the world for the rudeness of one single person?  "People" are not responsible for the actions of a few.  But when the incident happened, you said nothing.  I would at at least said, "that's rude question".  I think you are angry with yourself because you didn't say what you should have.  Also, like it or not, you do have an obvious medical condtion that draws attention to you.  That's a fact and you have to make peace with that and live your life. People are going to look, some might stare and a few (but certainly not everyone" will make insensitive comments.  I think if you'd handled the situation differently, it could have been a teachable moment and you would not be blaming "people" for what one person said.   I don't mean pulling that woman aside and giving her your medical history.  I mean responding to the question at that very moment.  "I have a medical condition and I find your question to be rude and insensitive".  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,233
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

Again my answer will be

 

YOU can not fix stupid, open mouth and insert foot

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,944
Registered: ‎06-16-2015

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

It is the era of impoliteness and mean spirited, rude, insensitive behavior. My parents raised me to have sensitivity toward other people's feelings. Others no longer do that. Plus, the floodgates have been opened to soulless behavior by anonymous social media that has seeped into everyday interactions and has removed anonymity. Personally, I think you should get the opportunity to sit down with that girl and give her an honest lesson in being aware of how what she says can hurt and demean.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,987
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

@FuzzyFace Yes, people are rather thoughtless when they speak without thinking. I am so so sorry you feel bad as a I feel sad with you though your words in your post. I wish I could hug you.

 

Before I had both knees replaced in 2013, I was very bow legged from the arthritis in my knees.  It was disfiguring and very painful.   I was working retail up until my knee replacement and   I used one crutch to help me get around.  Customers would make comments about my bowed legs.  Just like you experienced.  They would ask:

 

"what is wrong with your legs?"

 

😳 SERIOUSLY.?

 

I went into the bathroom many times to cry  from comments  customers would make about how  I walked etc....

 

Now my legs are nice and straight I am so thankful....but still those hurtful comments made me a bit bitter about people.  SO STUPID😡

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,535
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

Those who suggest a snappy comeback are just as rude as the person asking the intrusive question. I think a vague answer about a medical condition is as far as I would go. One thing drilled into me, and then on to my youngsters, was not to ask any questions about appearances in public - ask mom or dad once we are in the car or back at home.