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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,253
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

I wish people would think before they speak

I have a a rare form of hepatits--(auto-immune, not A, B, or C) which  itself causes my skin to thin out, andbruise and spectacularly  easily. And they also take a long time to heal. And believe me, I'm being treated as much as possible by my doctor.

 

I was at my grandaughter's birthday party last week and someone I hardly know (she's related to my daughter-in-law) came up to me and without bothering to lower her voice, she said Oh my God! Look at your arms! What's wrong with you?

 

I resisted he urge to pick up something heavy and hit her with it; instead, I pretty much ignored her . If I'd been prepared, I would have answered back (and not bothered  to lower my voice.)

 

What the hell is wrong with people? I can understand her being curious--some of the blocthes practically cover my arm from the shoulder to the wrist--but did  she have to ask it like that? I would have taken someone marked up the way i am, into a corner and quietly asked. I don't blame her for being curious but I was so angry and embarassed -- she really "got under my skin", so to speak. Woman Mad

 

I don't like to go out in public till this clears up and people like that  don't help. I could wear a sweater or something to cover up but I'd roast to death.

 

Please do think before you speak when you're in a situation like that. I know that most of the people here don't need to be told; I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for your toleration <3

Respected Contributor
Posts: 5,002
Registered: ‎05-12-2012

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

you can't fix stupid.......

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,846
Registered: ‎05-23-2015

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

Some people don't have a filter, I avoid them. I'm sorry this person embarrassed you.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,253
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak


@nana59 wrote:

you can't fix stupid.......

 

Unfortunately, you're right.


 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,677
Registered: ‎01-18-2012

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

@FuzzyFace  I feel so bad for your experience.  Unfortunately, some people are ignorant and do not consider other peoples' feelings they see a rash or marks on skin and instantly make boorish remarks.

 

I nursed in the first AIDS clinic in S.F. and could not get any landlord, at that time, to rent us an apartment as soon as they heard where I worked and voiced it very loudly too.

As you say think before you speak, a good rule to live by.  Don't let a person like this get you down, take care lots of happy days to come.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,343
Registered: ‎06-15-2018

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

I would have put her in the same situation and said as loudly as she did "what is wrong with you and your lack of consideration for the embarrassment you just caused me."  I bet she would be speechless then.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,719
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

They are what children whose parents failed to teach them manners become. She should not have mentioned it, not quietly, not in a corner, not at all. 

 

Some think children's inappropriate comments cute, they aren't.

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,417
Registered: ‎04-08-2013

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

@FuzzyFace ~ I'm sorry this happened to you.  As hard as it may be, try not to give this person/situation anymore of your energy.  It's not worth it.  Yes, she was wrong ~ big time.  Look at it this way ~ I'm sure the people that overheard her were mortified.  This makes her look like the jack---, not you.

 

Have a good weekend!  :-)

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,338
Registered: ‎06-21-2010

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

That form of questioning was rude. I would have been embarrassed as well. I'm sorry you are having this skin issue.  

Formerly known as "jpie"
Super Contributor
Posts: 484
Registered: ‎01-28-2016

Re: I wish people would think before they speak

@FuzzyFace

 

While I have a different issue, I totally get this.

 

I have an ultra rare form of muscular dystrophy. It is late onset and doesn't rear its ugly head until the person is in their fifties. So people who haven't seen me in a long time may not realize I have it.

 

I am not reticent about explaining it to people or answering their questions. I think its a good thing to educate the world about a condition that most doctors have never even heard of.

 

What I can't STAND is people who say, "I didn't know you are sick". I'm NOT sick; I have mobility problems. I'm one of the healthiest people around! THINK, people!

 

Then I get people who ask, and I tell them I have muscular dystrophy or MD. They turn around in the very next sentence and say, "Wow, I never knew you have MS". Wrong condition. THINK, people!

 

I have trouble climbing stairs and getting up off of low seats or toilets, so I have to do a lot of planning ahead before I can even go anywhere. I get told, "Oh you'll be FINNNNNNNNEEEEE. It'll be FINNNNNEEEEE. We'll help you. It'll be FINNNNNEEEE. Great, its good to know that someone else knows better than I what I am able or unable to do. And its so good to know that friends are happy to help me get up off of a toilet! (Sorry if that's TMI but its what I face a LOT).

 

I know that a lot of people don't have ill intentions. Maybe the woman thought you'd been abused and was speaking up without thinking first. Regardless, it was none of her business to approach you that way. I don't think I'd have had the self control to keep myself from saying something obnoxious back to her. 

 

If I am talking to someone who discloses they have an illness or condition, I'll say, "I don't know that much about it, but I'd like to know more. Please correct me if I don't understand or ask silly questions that don't apply." It goes a long way to make the person who has the condition feel open, comforted by the interest in them, and more inclined to share.

 

Hang in there, Fuzzy Face. Its not likely to go away completely and we have to be ready for anything! As if a disability or illness isn't challenging enough, right? lol