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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,926
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: I was naive on the subject. Need advice please re senior care

I know it's easier to have the government pay but we had no option. We were both working full time and my mom and I were not the best friends. In home health care wasn't going to happen because we would have had to pay most of it ourselves and we could not afford that. actually couldn't even come close. One of us could not quit our jobs to care for her full time because then we would have even less money to live on plus we are not trained in that kind of care. If something would have happen to her, say broken bone, they would come after us for elder abuse. We were not going to sell our house because we would then still need a place to live and would still have needed to pay to rent so why would I give up a house that is almost paid for. As for draining our savings account. The big fat answer is no. We don't have kids that could take us in or anything like that so we have to make sure we are ok. I know it sound like I was cruel, but my mom had a decent place to stay, food, clean surroundings etc. she pretty much ignored me when I would visit. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,997
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: I was naive on the subject. Need advice please re senior care

Two things I did right:

 

First, I worked full time for 40 years, so my SS benefit is quite high.  Only my younger brother's is higher and he is at the limit.

 

Second, I bought into my company's Long Term Health Care Insurance Plan when I was 55.  The premium money was taken out of my pay.  I applied for long term care benefits when it became obvious I could no longer drive and do other things for myself.  I had already been in this situation for several years, so I had an ample medical history and diagnoses to qualify.

 

Fortunately, this plan is "unlimited" for benefits, and they allow one to stay in one's own home and allow relatives to provide care.  So I will probably have this coverage for the rest of my life.  That, together with my SS, has enabled me to pay my own way for the foreseeable future.  I don't see any situation where any of my children will have to provide financial help to me, nor use their own assets to augment my expenses.

 

I also have a life insurance policy which hopefully will not be rescinded before I die which will more than cover my death expenses and then some.   

 

I didn't do everything right financially in my lifetime.  But the above are the things I did do right. 

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,670
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: I was naive on the subject. Need advice please re senior care


@KathyPet wrote:

Interesting the way some people are disappointed that there kids would not step up to take them in when they are not able to live alone while others like me shudder at the very thought of having to live with their kids.  Both my father and mother in law lived with my DH and I for a period of time when they were no longer able to care for themselves and I know firsthand the incredible stress it puts on the caregivers entire family especially the female care givers.  The men seem somehow to disassociate from all the issues surrounding having a aging parent moving in. I love my daughter and we get along very well but move in with her?  Never!  That is why DH and I pay a small fortune every year for long term health care insurance.


_______________________________________________________

 

I think it is also incredibly stressful to have a parent in a nursing home situation as well.  I don't really think there is any way around getting around the stress and challenges when it comes to taking good care of an aging parent, no matter where the parent lives.

 

I did take care of my mother, but then did have to put her into a care facility the last year of her life.  I just traded one set of demands and concerns for others when I placed her in care.  Mom was private pay so we didn't have to worry about Medicaid, etc....but all I can say is I really fought battles along the way with some of the facilities.  In fact, I moved her abruptly and filed a complaint that was validated by the state against a facility just one month before she passed away.  So even when someone is private pay, sub-standard care can be a concern.  The place I moved her to though was top notch and she received excellent care.  Thank goodness.

 

So makeupaddict, best wishes to your mother as she navigates the system with her sister.  Here's hoping your aunt is placed in a nice environment that meets her needs, where she is safe, and also receives good care.

 

 


* Freedom has a taste the protected will never know *
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: I was naive on the subject. Need advice please re senior care


@Cat Lover Dogs too wrote:

Hello,  I hope this is helpful.  Once assets have been reduced to around $2000, and there is no real estate owned by the person requiring assistance: Medicaid pays for nursing home care. Medicare only pays for 100 days of nursing home care if the patient is discharged from the hospital to a skilled nursing facility. Because your relative has a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia she may already have medicare and medicaid, if not those can be applied for. I don't believe you mentioned her age. It is always best to start getting rid of assets before a significant health issue arises in elderly parents or relatives, as the government seizes assets to pay for skilled nursing home facilities. They then only allow around $30 per month in the elderly persons account for "incidentals". I am not completely sure, but I believe they can go back 3 years to determine where the assets are.

 For those that can afford it, getting extended care insurance while very young is a good investment, as that will pay for home health care, personal care homes and whatever else is needed. It is cheap when young, terribly expensive when purchased when older.

I am basing the above information on my experience navigating care for my mother when she became ill. Luckily I was able to care for her in my home until her death, as I promised I would do. That isn't an option for many people. 


Medicare does not pay for nursing home care.  It will pay for skilled nursing care for the number of days remaining (of the 100 after the number of hospital days used have been deducted) in a nursing home setting, as long as progress is made in the areas of speech/physical/occupational therapy.  I didn't read that the sister is physical ill or in need of skilled nursing.  Medicaid will start paying as soon as any assets run out.  I doubt Medicare will be a part of the situation at all.

*********************
Keepin' it real.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,660
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I was naive on the subject. Need advice please re senior care

Medicare will only pay for up to 100 days of care in a skilled nursing facility IF you are admitted to the nursing home directly from a hospital AND the purpose of your nursing home stay is for rehabilitation after surgery or a stroke or another condition which requires rehabilitation that will allow the patient to be discharged from the nursing home and return to their home or to another facility like a senior living residence.  Your doctor must certify that they believe that rehabilitation will allow the patient to be discharged from the skilled nursing facility.  If the patient will need skilled care for the remainder of their life then Medicare will NOT pay any of the expense.  If the patient has no assets or extremely limited assets and no long term health insurance then Medicaid will come into the picture.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,660
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: I was naive on the subject. Need advice please re senior care


@LilacTree wrote:

Two things I did right:

 

First, I worked full time for 40 years, so my SS benefit is quite high.  Only my younger brother's is higher and he is at the limit.

 

Second, I bought into my company's Long Term Health Care Insurance Plan when I was 55.  The premium money was taken out of my pay.  I applied for long term care benefits when it became obvious I could no longer drive and do other things for myself.  I had already been in this situation for several years, so I had an ample medical history and diagnoses to qualify.

 

Fortunately, this plan is "unlimited" for benefits, and they allow one to stay in one's own home and allow relatives to provide care.  So I will probably have this coverage for the rest of my life.  That, together with my SS, has enabled me to pay my own way for the foreseeable future.  I don't see any situation where any of my children will have to provide financial help to me, nor use their own assets to augment my expenses.

 

I also have a life insurance policy which hopefully will not be rescinded before I die which will more than cover my death expenses and then some.   

 

I didn't do everything right financially in my lifetime.  But the above are the things I did do right. 


 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,243
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

Re: I was naive on the subject. Need advice please re senior care

My dh's mother ran out of money about 4 years ago. We live in MI and she's in AZ. She's 91 now and has been in a nursing home for years. When her money ran out she went on Medicaid. She actually is getting better care now than when she had to pay for it herself. She's going to live forever.

"Pure Michigan"