Community Chat

[Plaid Pants]

You need to see a psychiatrist pronto.

[ROMARY]

Visit your local Community Center! Hobbies with OTHER people. Classes with other people. Women's groups, church after services coffee get- together(s). Get to know your neighbors.........Stand and/or sit out there every weekend, watering or planting flowers, etc. Oh, low impact exercise classes with seniors. VOLUNTEER! So many things to enjoy. Forget what your husband is doing (or not doing).........Just go out there YOURSELF and Do your own thing! You'll feel a lot better. You need a reason to get up and have something to look forward to doing.

[chrystaltree]

You should get a complete physical and ask them to check your thyroid. You sound clinically depressed. Depression and feeling that I was old and tired were symptoms of my thyroid disease.

[winamac1]

O/P I'm so sorry for your emptiness. I definitely think you have clinical depression. I'd recommend going to therapy as an outlet. Good luck to you! I hope you find your passion after you retire. I think it's normal to feel a bit empty with changes such as yours, but it should be short lived. If it's not, I'd suggest you seeking therapy.

[winamac1]

On 2/10/2015 ROMARY 1 said:

Visit your local Community Center! Hobbies with OTHER people. Classes with other people. Women's groups, church after services coffee get- together(s). Get to know your neighbors.........Stand and/or sit out there every weekend, watering or planting flowers, etc. Oh, low impact exercise classes with seniors. VOLUNTEER! So many things to enjoy. Forget what your husband is doing (or not doing).........Just go out there YOURSELF and Do your own thing! You'll feel a lot better. You need a reason to get up and have something to look forward to doing.

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Romary--all great ideas!

[LTT1]

Oh, my, starpolisher, my heart aches for you. Please don't take this the wrong way... make a list of everything you'd LIKE to do if you weren't so tired and burnt out. (the way you are feeling sounds very familiar and hits close to home in so many ways) Perhaps the way you would like your life to be different might be possible once your have 1) seen a doctor to rule out health factors like thyroid/heart 2) re-gained lost brain energy by resting up after retirement for a little while. All of that energy you expend now on the job robs you of creativity that could be put to better use.

Follow your dreams when you retire... after you decide what your dreams are. Good luck and you will feel better after you tend to yourself and your needs some. hugs for sure

PS... even see a psychiatrist (or ask your MD if they think you SHOULD). This might bring you lots of peace of mind. : )

[kittymomNC]

I'm so sorry you're going through all this anguish, but I do think it will get better. In the meantime, I agree with others here that maybe some professional help would be in order so you can get on the right track.

I was sort of forced into retirement a year earlier than I had planned because my job went away. At first it was wonderful, and then it wasn't so wonderful. I don't have a large family, and only a couple of close relatives where I live... the others are several hundred miles away.

I went through a period of such adjustment, I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I had always had this idea that if I just had a little money and a LOT of time, I could do all the things I'd never had time to do before. But then I didn't do them. It was like, the first part of my life I was a daughter, then I was a wife (for a few years), I was a mother, and a worker for 46 years, and then I was... what?

I didn't know how I was supposed to feel or what I was supposed to do. It was like I had had all these "identities" and then all of a sudden I didn't know who I was supposed to be. I'm still a mother, and my son lives close by, but there were still those questions of "what do I do now"? My life wasn't at all like I once thought it would be at this point in time.

It took a good while and a lot of effort, but it finally came together. You have received a lot of good advice here from some caring posters, and I do hope it helps. Be sure and take time for yourself and don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. I know a lot of people feel ashamed it they need to ask for help, but you should never feel that way. I hope you can work it out and get to feeling better soon. I'm sure many of us have been where you are in one way or another, so come back here and post if you feel like it. I've found a lot of help and support here... I hope you do as well.

[Snowpuppy]

I don't think a shrink or meds should be your first option.

Buy a journal and start to write. If you're organized then list what is bothering you in each aspect. Or just a rant in general. Changes in life are normal.

Everyone needs time to adjust. Your DH has only been home a couple of months. Maybe he just wants to vegetate and watch some mindless tv that he couldn't enjoy for decades while he worked. He's entitled.

Write about your gratitude daily. DH is alive, he's been a good provider, hard worker. We have a nice home. I have enough $ to decorate and will have time once I'm home, too. You'll have time to visit your adult kids. Take a weekend vacation with a sister or friend. I didn't read about any friends. Do you have any?

You have some long established routines in your life. It's going to be challenging to create new routines. Retired doesn't mean the end of life. Just the end of going to a job that's no longer satisfying the way it once was.

[ROMARY]

Thanks, Winamac 1 ! Even though we are much younger than many of the folks at our Community Center, my neighbors and I walk to the Center and all around the courtyard every morning, chatting with the various people there, cheering them (and ourselves, too!). Also, the volunteers there are mostly in their eighties and nineties and seem very happy. They are there, volunteering, rain or shine! It's amazing how good many of us feel, just being around OTHER folks! Lots of cheery days ahead for O/P.

[Still Raining]

I could have written your posting Starpolisher. Nothing like it happened to my friends or sisters, but I was really hit. Had a little bump at 40 and then just sailed on until 64 when I hit the wall.

I think is must be some sort of passage where we have to accept a transition or maybe to mourn our outcomes and the closing of our options. In the end life becomes much simpler because you see that so many things don't matter and you make much more deliberate choices to please yourself.