Community Chat

[Mistic]

@JavaQueen ~

It helps me to type it out, too.  I do understand.

I call people like this "Rainy Day Friends."  When they need something, there they are.  

When the Sun comes out?  Where are they?

Nobody needs, or deserves, this kind of Friendship.  

I hope you get to feeling better.  

[JavaQueen]

To all who stopped to read and post your kind remarks and words of wisdom, many thanks! I feel somewhat better. She did get that email from me, so things could change, however. There was no name-calling or litany of past faults and injustices. Just the facts, ma'ams, plain and simple. Should a fiery screed come my way, I'll use my delete key. What a great invention!

I don't post many of these "vent" threads; probably could count on the fingers of one hand, maybe? Sometimes they are necessary. It's necessary to slay the beast before it becomes engorged on anger and resentment.  If not, well....I don't want to be that lady on the news or profiled in an episode of Snapped!

I want to add that I recognize many of your screen names and you often are a source of comfort--or when needed--plain cold truth.  Keep doing what you do; it helps to make these forums a better place.

[Mom2Dogs]

@JavaQueen....I totally understand and would have been hurt  as well- been there - DH and I got axed for an evening out with very good friends - when another offer came in for them - there were several other things with this couple similar but that was the last straw. and yes, I did say something - friendship ended.

[Wiscfan3]

@JavaQueen   I would have felt the same way. You are correct, it is the little things that really show who someone is. I would try to let it (and her) go at this point. I hope she doesn't need computer help again because I would tell her she is on her own with that from now on!!

[dex]

Is it possible that when you declined the ticket she thought you didn’t want to go?Just throwing that out there Incase of misunderstanding.If she thoughtlessly did this to you for some reason then she is not a friend...just an acquaintance. 

[JavaQueen]

Oh, no. She knew. I declined the ticket, saying it wasn't necessary that I would be glad to help her. I had a few more conversations about this exhibit and she went into detail complaining how it was to pin that one person down because of their schedule--as if I were included in this. 

[GCR18]

The writing is on the wall.  You were considered a backup if the other two didn't go.  I don't think she forgot you were asked.  You can either brush it off or distance yourself from the friendship.  

[JavaQueen]

Here's an interesting wrinkle:

She emailed me and said No, I wasn't invited, my schledule....whatever. It got more convoluted, the more she went on. 

She offered to buy the ticket if I wanted to go on that day. I don't know what's worse...pretending to forget or whatever she was trying to do. People don't know that it's often better to shut up while you're ahead. (even in a email.)

I must be in eighth grade? Really must be.

I should politely decline her offer. This whole crazy thing has ruined it for me.

[cherry]

You now know, to just be  busy ,and not to get involved with her . I understand your hesitation to accept the ticket at this point. I would feel the same way. If you accept the ticket ,she might feel, it obligates you ,to help her again, in the future.

[GAQShopr53]

@JavaQueen It sound like you are an amazing person and this lady was using that exhibit to get you to help her with the computers.  It sounds like she really wanted her like- minded friends to go with her from the beginning and you were her backup if they could/did not want to go. Hopefully, she is not dealing with memory loss for real!

I think you handled the situation well and from what you have described of this lady and her friends you probably would not have enjoyed seeing the exhibit with this group to begin with. I hope you can get tickets in the future and visit the exhibit with someone you would enjoy going with.